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beard removal before coming out

Started by atashi, October 15, 2010, 04:17:28 PM

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atashi

I am considering laser removal for my facial hair. My wife is supportive, but I am not ready to come out to friends or to co-workers.

Is this going to be obvious? Seems like this should be a common dilemma, but I didn't find anything in the forum.

Any advice or experience?

Thanks!
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pebbles

no not really. It wasn't for me I begun removing my facial hair long before I begun transition pepole knew I hated my facial hair it happens and when I told pepole they were just "oh okay." . The laser tech wasn't bothered either said she treats quite a few men.
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Tamaki

Most guys I know usually aren't that observant or maybe they just don't care that much.
If anyone asked I'd just tell them I hate shaving and I'm getting laser done. I know a lot of guys that hate shaving and I bet a few of them would want to know about laser.


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spacial

I can just see all those men, spending 10 minutes, every morning, shaving and another 5 patching up the bleeding bits while they psyche themselves up to use aftershave, looking at you getting laser.

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Rock_chick

No one noticed until I told them, mainly because I had my treatments on a weekend so no one at work would guess. Unless you have laser on a lunch break and then go back to work with lightly bbq'd face you'll be fine.
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juliemac

I did mine Friday at 4 pm. That gave me till Monday to "recover".

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Bird

I am not on HRT yet.. but I will be removing facial hair. I figure its one of the things that are better done ASAP, since you have to do it over a long time.
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K8

Quote from: Maiara on October 15, 2010, 07:25:26 PM
I figure its one of the things that are better done ASAP, since you have to do it over a long time.

^This.

I started laser and electrolysis before I was even sure that I would transition.  I figured I'd just look clean-shaven all the time - no biggie.  And, as Pebbles and Tamaki said, it is OK even if you tell everyone you are getting it done.  It's not necessarily a "trans" thing.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Vanessa_yhvh

I started beard laser before I even started HRT.  Doing so w/o a liberal dose of STFU and timing the sessions for discretion apparently played a big part in my being outed by people who connected a few dots.

So do it, but until you're ready for the possibility of being outed by others, use a combination of strategies suggested by others on this thread.
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Diane Elizabeth

  I started with electrolysis  before I got on HRT.  Laser for me is not doable.  too much gray hair.  I have been on HRT for six weeks and despite being told that the hair would come oout easier it hasn't.  It hurts like hell.  I get mine done once a week on Wednesday AM right before going to work.  No one notices. 
Having you blanket in the wash is like finding your psychiatrist is gone for the weekend!         Linus "Peanuts"
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justmeinoz

I did a quick calculation and worked out that it is not a lot dearer than shaving for the rest of my life, saves 5 mins in the morning too.  Nearly all the dark hair is gone and the grey doesn't show if I miss a shave.
Nobody seems to have noticed at work.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Cindy

Got the odd look but  I think it was more about the inflammation than anything. Since I also wear ear rings I don't think any one really cares. I don't. I also wear 'female' 3/4 leggings to the gym with shaved legs and 'girly' socks in male mode, no one has said boo about that either.

Just do it. It's your body.

Cindy
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tori319

You can't do it if you have dark skin right?
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Cindy

Quote from: tori319 on October 16, 2010, 02:59:29 AM
You can't do it if you have dark skin right?

Hi Tori,
Laser works by blasting melanin in the hair follicle and there by killing it. If you have dark, melaninated skin laser will just burn you. There was a lady of, I think, Indian descent, she had dark olive skin, and very dark black hair so she seemed OK. If you are dark skinned you need to go to a professional place and get assessed. You may need to go the electrolysis route. If you are dark skinned please be careful you may be scarred. :'(

Hugs

Cindy
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Pippa

It does not work well on dark skin or on very fair hairs.   I would go down the Electrolysis route.

I had laser prior to coming out. I got a few strange looks but most people couldn't care less.
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K8

Tori, go for a consultation with a reputable laser place.  It all depends on what kind of laser they have and how much contrast there is between your skin tone and your hair color.  Best results are with fair skin and dark hair, but they can work on darker skin.  Just be sure it is a place that knows what they are doing.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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lilacwoman

i got a very nice light gold tan this summer and the laserist was concerned enough to call the manager in to consult and decide to turn machine power down a bit.  it still stung as though it was sizzling the follicles though.
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tori319

I'll definitely do a consultation.Thanks I''ll probably have a better chance with electro though.
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atashi

thanks for all of the advice. I am going for it. wish me luck!
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placeholdername

One thing I've heard is that laser/electro can be less effective if you're not on hormones yet.  I tried electro for two months and although it seemed to be working, 95% or more of it grew back when I had to stop for budget reasons.  Later heard from someone at my TG group that it gets a lot more effective once you start hormones.  I've been on hormones for a while now but I'm trying to figure out where to go now that I'm ready to try again.
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