If you know me you would never call me a Buddhist but I have been reading books on Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for more than a year now. The first book I read was "Buddhism, Plain and Simple". I was reluctant at first because I had images in my head of men in robes walking around chanting. But just like anything else, if you don't open yourself to knowledge you'll forever have your head in the sand.
As I read the book I found myself thinking, "This sounds like a belief system that's designed for TGs." It's a very logical approach to life and, if you follow the basic premise of it, accepting others for who they are is one of the more important practices a Buddhist follows.
From what I've learned, followers of Buddhism care more about your inner self than what you look like, how successful you are or how popular you are. They see life for exactly what it is and don't put a spin on it, not theirs or anyone else's. When a person comes up to you and says your shoelaces are untied, it doesn't mean you're a dummy or they noticed something you missed or that you're just like a little kid and need to be told something as obvious as that. It just means your shoelaces are untied, nothing more.
Apply that to being TG and instead of seeing a man dressed as a woman or a woman dressed as a man, they simply see a person who has clothes on. While their attire may say something about them, they pass no judgement on it. You are who you are.
A lot of the inner peace I have achieved has come from the lessons I have learned and applying them to my life. If someone tells me I'm wrong I don't take that as a challenge to prove I'm right. It just tells me they disagree with me. There is no effect on me, the person. I am still the same. When someone tells me I'm nuts for transitioning, I know they disagree with my decision and I recognize they have their opinions and, just like me, they have a right to their opinions. Their opinion has no effect on me.
My children distancing themselves from me was at first devastating. This ate away at me incessantly. It was a cancer in my soul and I anguished about all the time. Once I opened my eyes I realized this has no bearing on me and who I am They are just misinformed and at some time in their lives they will understand. If that never happens then it never happens. While I would love for them to be an active part of my life, I hold no ill will towards them nor do I beat myself up about my decision nor do I anguish about it any more. It just is what it is.
Another aspect I like about Buddhism is disassociating oneself from Ego. Ego is the reason we take things personally. And when we take things personally, other things get stirred up and before you know it we are a bundle of stressed out nerves. Wanting to rid myself of that feeling is one reason I've adopted some of the teachings of Buddha. This has lead to an inner peace I have never known. I won't go back to my old way of thinking anymore than I'll go back to living life as a man. I like living in peace.
In its strictest sense Buddhism certainly isn't for everyone. But in a general sense I feel there's something everyone can adopt from Buddhism that will make their life better. It certainly has mine.
Julie
