Hello,

I am new here, my name is Summer.  So I am pretty sure I am transgendered (MTF) because I have felt that way all my life, but have lived in a VERY conservative town/family/everything.  I feel like there are things I need to do before I can even say I am really transgenered (as opposed to maybe a cd?).  One of those things would seem to be therapy, from all the reading I have done so far.  I am pretty nervous about going, I'm not sure why.  Perhaps because confronting things like this is never a simple task.  Most of the time I try to push all these feelings down; way, way down.  I have been doing that for years now.

So my question.   What has your experience in therapy been like?  Did you receive any great revelations?  Advice or information you feel would not have come to light without the benefit of a counselor?  Did you just go for the HRT letter?   Sorry this is so open ended but any insights would be greatly appreciated.  Just pretty lost and confused I suppose.   


As I was writing this I realized what I was perhaps getting at.  99% of me wants to be female, of that I am 89% sure (lol).  I think the other parts of me are really scared about the consequences.  I wonder how often people go to a therapist for the reasons I mentioned above, and decide they AREN'T transgender.   Like maybe I'm just messed up in some way for wanting this.   Its a scary thought...


tldr:  feel free to share therapy revelations with a noob. 
summer

Hi Summer.

When I originally was trying to make it all go away.  I was trying to save my marriage.  The therapist suggested going out once a month "with the girls".  But I knew that would not fly with the wife.

When we finally separated I went back to the same therapist.  He remembered me and told me that it was obvious that I was TS.  He help me get a letter to start HRT and to a point to go full time ( just had my second year anniversary ).  He wrote the letter for my Orchidectomy.  He since was written my first letter of recommendation for SRS.

A therapist will help you come to grips with many phases of transition.

Good luck and May you find your true self.

Hi Summer,

A good therapist allows you to explore your feelings, your problems and the issues that lock us into the life we have. They are non-judgmental and are the sounding board of our fears.

The 'nature' of therapist seems to change from country to country, and possibly in the USA from state to state. In Australia I see a psychiatrist, who is a registered medical doctor, who can and does make clinical decisions about my over all well being. He refers me to an endocrinologist who monitors my hormone levels and gives me my scripts. He also makes sure I get bone density scans/tests in case there are side effects from HRT.

But the role varies. I think one of the major roles of the therapist is to make sure we aren't making a mistake. Once you have been on hormonal therapy  for a while you are in practice chemically castrated. Stopping the hormones doesn't reverse it.  And this is way before you may decide on surgery.

I think one thing we do need guidance on from a therapist is the basic question of whether we are transgendered.  I think ->-bleeped-<- and pregnancy share one important point. You can't be a little bit pregnant, and I don't think you can be a little bit transgendered. If you are then you have another condition that needs to be explored - and BTW there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'm in no way suggesting any form of elitism in gender identity disorders just that there is a spectrum and it is important to our well being that they are examined and correctly diagnosed, since as I said before, at some point there is no going back.

Welcome to Susan's

I think you will lots of helpful information here and I hope you make many friends. I certainly have

Cindy

Thanks Cindy and Janet.  So do you suppose that if there is any doubt at all, that means that I'm not transgendered?  Thats what I have told myself for years.  Unfortunately, that does not make all my feelings of wanting to be a woman go away.   Its quite possible that my "doubt" is really just fear of going forward.

Oh Goddess girl,
With your last comment I presume you are blonde as well

Did not mean that  that all. The whole idea of therapy is to understand doubt. Doubt is good. We have to understand ourselves.  Can I put it another way? I see men/boys walking and interacting with each other every day. I have never been able to be there.  I go out with my girl friends and I am happy, none threatened and comfy.   The whole story is finding ourselves. A difficult but not impossible goal.

Cindy

Hello Summer and welcome to the forums. Wanting to be LIKE women is one thing. Wanting to BE a woman is another altogether-that's me. A good therapist will help you find out for certain and help make you comfortable wherever you find yourself to be especially in your own skin-that can be a difficult place!

Randi

Quote from: SummerMoore on October 16, 2010, 01:57:18 AMSo do you suppose that if there is any doubt at all, that means that I'm not transgendered?

Heavens, no!  If that were true, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't actually BE any transgendered people, lol! 

I echo what others have said.  I have found a wonderful therapist.  Her main function is to act as a mirror so I can see myself better.  My Self.  And face the things about my self that I've been too terrified to face in the past.  And be a sounding-board for my doubts and fears.  For instance, she and I have explored whether there could be any alternate diagnoses in my case.  We've talked about  ->-bleeped-<-, schizophrenia, social disorders, etc.  And we've talked about GID.  And she is certain in my case it's GID, and nothing else makes any sense at all.  In fact, she has never seen me in drab.  And she makes out the receipts to Colleen (she'll be issuing a separate one at the end of the year in my birth name for income tax purposes).  So yes, therapy can be a wonderful thing, and open up all kinds of possibilities for you, AND a good therapist can connect you to other resources as well.  BUT... the tricky part is finding a GOOD therapist - someone who KNOWS what they're talking about.  INSIST on a therapist who has experience with LGBT people, Trans folks in particular.  Ask how many other trans clients they've had.  Take a session or two, and evaluate them carefully.  If it's not working out, move on.  Don't be afraid to 'next' them.  It's (probably)  YOUR money, after all.  You're in the driver's seat.  Good luck, and I hope to hear some good news from you soon!

QuoteDid you receive any great revelations?

Therapy from religious foundations are harder. I'm positive we can learn virtue from such hardship. What is meant to be learned is not always written down in the obvious place, like the bible. This is where a social community known by the church may have wise connections of where to start. You probably make a choice for yourself how negotiable that start is between your body and the spirit.

If you need therapy that requires a balance that goes beyond spirituality, then the your question and your answer is of soul. Nobody, not even religion, is able to imperfect the soul. These borders, these barriers, there is no reason for anybody to concern with themselves how solid they are when tried. Souls only prefect themselves, and talented ones, probably uniquely talented, do take part in the balance the souls need to have some sense of a wall that protects them. That may seem easy to solve by imagination alone. If you feel a wall in your imagination, then that was not mere imagination. This kind of knowledge that goes beyond spirituality does require communications, as secrets don't evolve. If there way to professionalize quantum therapy, there probably would be a microeconomy to support it based on the mere environmental impact to get from home to the office and back for therapy.

There is no ordinary way for someone to sense a spirit inside your soul. The truth is the word spirit doesn't describe anything about the contents of souls. That barrier mention above doesn't even let words through. Whatever was thought to be spirit on the outside of the soul has indescribable truths to infinitely obscure that the spirit was only ever on the outside of the soul.

I don't think you need therapy for what is inside your soul to answer your question.

We can use ordinary mathematics to prove this truth about the soul wall such that the surface is infinite. The body stays relaxed over that statement. We can describe how two perfect spheres share the same infinite surface. The body stays relaxed over that statement, and we are familiar with people here that communicate such truths in quite of an illusion of unrelated media. The body stays relaxed, again. Consider how the innergender of one soul is the same thing or same difference of the other soul. If you can agree that souls are perfect spheres in the the ordinary dimensions, then notice how I replaced a perfect sphere with soul. Your body stays relaxed.

The mere comparison of the ordinary to perfection is illogical. The body felt like it understood something above, despite the illogical state.

Ordinaries are finite.

Perfections are infinite.

The ordinary world is imperfect.

I doubt that makes you think anybody is more powerful or more knowledgeable about us than the ordinary us. Mass storage exists.

Being human is not easy. Even if my soul was color coded pink that doesn't mean I'm gonna get a pink body to match. Let's say the pink color was used in order to let the doctors know what natal and fetal tissue to use to make sure that these preferences carry on into the appropriate body. They may see the pink and think it meant what was desired, yet this is a paradox! Do they all agree the pink soul goes into the pink body or the blue body. The blue body may need to desire pink. The pink body may need to desire pink. Maybe the pink soul meant pink body to optionally be attracted to the opposite, blue.

I tried to avoid religious influence, kept my creativity level down, and honestly wrote this to let you judge yourself. The perfection above lets us know where judgments end.

I was specifically on the hunt for hormones and framed my request for an appointment in those terms. That bit of business out of the way, my therapist has been more interested in helping me with quality of life issues like sorting out and removing the fangs from sources of anxiety and distress.

Most of the business of finding myself as a woman seems to work itself out through interactions with people in my life and attempting to live authentically. I feel that what my therapist & I do facilitates this by clearing out major obstacles to just living life in my community.

QuoteSo my question.   What has your experience in therapy been like?  Did you receive any great revelations?  Advice or information you feel would not have come to light without the benefit of a counselor?  Did you just go for the HRT letter?   Sorry this is so open ended but any insights would be greatly appreciated.  Just pretty lost and confused I suppose.   

Therapy has been very helpful for getting me past the lost and confused place your talking about. I went in knowing I had GID and it helped me realize and come to terms with the fact that I'm transsexual.

There weren't any great revelations in therapy. It has mostly been admitting what I already knew but was afraid to admit to myself and getting the resources and support that I needed.

I've seen two different therapists for my GID, the first did not specialize in people with GID. She was very helpful but I quickly realized that I needed to see someone who dealt with this every day.
The second therapist specialize in GID and has a large trans clientile. He was able to tell me that many of his other clients felt the same way or went through the same things. This was really helpful. He was also able to find the resources I needed, trans support groups, doctors and clinics that deal with the trans population as well as help me connect with other people in my situation. It has been invaluable to go to someone has these kind of resources available.

I understand the conserative town problem, I have to drive almost and hour for therapy. Don't let the little things hold you back from getting the help you need.

QuoteOne of those things would seem to be therapy, from all the reading I have done so far.  I am pretty nervous about going, I'm not sure why.

I have found that acting on my thoughts/hopes/dreams starts to make them real, they are moving beyond the confines of my brain. This is scary no matter what it is. The first time I went to therapy for my GID I was shaking scared but I knew I had to do it and wanted to do it.

it's practically impossible to find statistics for how many people take the first step by going to a psychiatrist/therpaist and how many actually end up living in opposite gender mode let alone how many actually get surgery.
I have seen 90% dropout figure but even that may be totally wrong one way or the other.
If you are feeling the need to have some input on your thoughts you are taking the first step of a journey that can go all over before reaching what for you will be the end.

lots of us have found that our journeys are a bit like the ball in  a pinball machine as we bounce around befor finally finding a nice hole.