Hey,
Well I plucked up the courage and wrote my dad an e-mail. I couldn't do it in person as he lives so far away, and if I'm honest I really couldn't do it face to face.
I just got my response and though I kinda knew he wouldn't accept it, the response I got; well... just doesn't make sense. He seemed to have completely ignored the FTM part and seems to think I'm accusing him of bad parenting. It took me hours to write this e-mail, and I even got a few friends to look at it just to make sure I wasn't babbling rubbish and end up confusing him more.
I'm kinda thinking maybe this is him in denial and he just cant accept it, which I know I have to accept
Ahhhh just needed to get this out of my system (sorry)
Ki

Maybe he'll think it over more and slowly become more accepting and understanding? Either way I'm sorry he didn't take it well

anyone would think it's 1910 not 2010 the way some people refuse to accept the reality that some family member may be TS.

What does he know about the 33 years you've already lived?   Has he any idea of your life, friends, partners etc?

On the basis of the information you've given, it really sounds like he's making it about himself, to be quite honest.

If this is the case, write back and tell him, this isn't about him, it's about you. But be careful not to antogonise him. People who are rather self obscessed can take offense quite easily.

Hope you're not offended or upset by what I've said. It is based upon what you're written above.

thanks for your replies...
No, you are completely right and to be honest I expected a negative reaction.....
I did reply and tried to explain, I even apologised for feeling this way
My friend thought it was best not to tell him, he does phone and write a lot and I felt it would be difficult to hide from him, especially when I start T.
I'm just so grateful to my friends who are amazingly supportive (and of course to Susan's)  

Quote from: lilacwoman on October 17, 2010, 04:37:57 AM
anyone would think it's 1910 not 2010 the way some people refuse to accept the reality that some family member may be TS.

What does he know about the 33 years you've already lived?   Has he any idea of your life, friends, partners etc?

well, not knowing anything about TS. I came out as lesbian when I was 17. He refused to speak to me for a few years. It was only due to the fact that my aunt talked to him (who has been with her female partner for 35 years), he then got back in contact.
So, I kinda knew he wasn't going to accept me. The problem seems to be; as my mum knew she was dying, she made him promise to always be there for me, and as awful as it sounds he really isn't the nicest person to be around.
I guess in a way it's set him free from keeping that promise, I am a little upset about it. But, I have so many positive people in my life who are so supportive, which I am extremely lucky to have

Since he can, presumably, accept this aunt, then his refusal to accept you does seem rather like he won't let go.

But you've done the correct thing by telling him. I assume you are independant of him. If that is the case then you have done all you can and showed him respect.

It really is a matter for him now.

But I hope you realise that you are not alone in this, as you are never alone in any other aspect of your journey.

thank you very much