Couple weeks ago I went in to talk to a doc that is trans friendly to get this show on the road. His requirments (since he knows my past), was to go see a shrink about dealing with people who are going to be hateful/hurtful through transition before we consider starting HRT. But the thing is.. shrinks that deal with this kind of stuff are pretty rare.. with the specialist in the area being over 5 hours away and a 6 month wait. But still, he thought he could find a closer referal to me rather quickish.. and would get back to me the next week. Been a couple weeks now, and no referals.. he can't find anyone that will take me on. Feeling kinda frusterated here.. wanting my hrt, and it keeps seeming farther and farther away. Specially seeing so many people getting to start on here recently. *sigh*.. ah well, my time will come.. someday. I was hoping to start this fall, like Octoberish, latest by New Years.. but at this point in time.. that doesn't seem likely.

I know how you feel.  I got my letter over the summer and was expecting to get T about 4 months ago, but shesh no endocrinologists in my area, I went to one, and she was terrible, then I finally got a good doctor, after waiting way longer then I had planned.

if it makes you feel any better, you look way manlier then I do, and you are pre T

Meh.. T isn't about passing for me... it's about getting closer to being who I am. Having the right fuel running in the veins. Just seems to be taking forever. 6 months to see a psych seems ridiculous. Hopefully something better will come up

Don't give up hope. Just think of it this way, you've gone your whole life without having any T, what's a little more waiting going to hurt?
I know it gets frustrating believe me  but you'll get there.

~Zack

Does it have to be a gender therapist?  Would your doctor accept just a general therapist?  People deal with this issue all the time with making changes to their lives in their lives and helping family members adjustments.

Maybe you can find a therapist who will work with you and maybe they might become the next gender therapist in your area

Meh, I'm just feeling extra frusterated atm because I'm suffering from the monthly horror. It's hard to feel masculine when youre leaking.

Quote from: Rob on September 28, 2010, 05:47:51 PM
Does it have to be a gender therapist?  Would your doctor accept just a general therapist?  People deal with this issue all the time with making changes to their lives in their lives and helping family members adjustments.

Maybe you can find a therapist who will work with you and maybe they might become the next gender therapist in your area

I donno. He's finding all the people for me because none of this kinda of thing is self referal - gotta be doc refered. Furthermore there is only one person in the province who can sign off towards any type of surgeries whatsoever for trans related issues. I just want T for now.. and then I'll work on getting that other ->-bleeped-<- together later on to see the specialist. My docs worked with trans before so he's not dumb on the issue. He's the only approved doc in the region to actually openly deal with trans people. However he follows the Harry Ben Standards (though rather loosly it seems).. I think that's why he wants a specific psych to deal with me. At least when I went in  to see him.. we went through some of what i've been doing to fit in as male.. so hopefully this time will be counting towards Real Life Experience Test in case somebody decides they want me to fulfil those 3 months :/.  *sigh*

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So frusterated atm.

Quote from: Tad on September 28, 2010, 05:49:03 PM
Meh, I'm just feeling extra frusterated atm because I'm suffering from the monthly horror. It's hard to feel masculine when youre leaking.

Aye, men don't leak, we fix things that leak

Hey man, I know how you feel. I actually found a therapist online and he was great!
And the cheapest I could find, which is nice. Because of him I got started on T, check him out (:
http://transactioncounseling-com.web30.winsvr.net/HOME/tabid/38/Default.aspx

4 weeks in, doc still can't find a psych that's willing to take on trans patients..

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was referred to another place for a psychiatrist so they'd have the counselling knowledge as well as the medical expertise....turns out they want to refer me to somewhere ELSE ELSE....and on top of that they don't know where to refer me to so they said they'd get back to me . 10 bucks says they're going to refer me to Sherbourne....which I'm already on the 2 year waiting list for. I feel your pain .

Question: Are you currently in College? A lot of Universities have free therapy/counseling. I went to a nearby school for therapy with each session costing $20 without insurance. They had some knowledge and were willing to take me on. You might want to check that out or local crisis hotlines...they tend to have some resources.

Quote from: Nygeel on October 08, 2010, 10:07:10 PM
Question: Are you currently in College? A lot of Universities have free therapy/counseling. I went to a nearby school for therapy with each session costing $20 without insurance. They had some knowledge and were willing to take me on. You might want to check that out or local crisis hotlines...they tend to have some resources.

Responding to this cuz I'm hoping it refers to everyone . My university does have free counselling and therapy for up to 20 hours so I agree it's a good resource to check out. However, they may not be THAT experienced with such topics....which is exactly what I'm experiencing . I'm tempted to just go the online-therapy route....But I agree on University health programs being a good resource to tap into regardless if you go for it I hope they're more experienced with trans issues and you have a better experience than I have had with them.

University counselling isn't enough. They don't have like registered psychologists and psychiatrists.

Referals were made finally. To a local counselling agency that is trans friendly, to a psychologist that is trans friendly, and to the provincial gatekeeper psychiatrist.

So turns out the psychologist is retired.. not such a huge deal, because the counselling agency has an in house psych.. though it takes normally a monthish to get into see him.

So this morning I went in for my intake interview, and found out it will likely be a month before I can get into see a counsellor there, and then a month on top of that for a psych. So that means no changing genders on stuff for another 2 months.. and a delay on getting T - The delay on getting T isn't such a huge deal. I'm rather patient since I pass.

And the referals for the specialist were made.. it's typically a 6 month wait.. but since he's the one who signs off on surgeries and whatnot, I'm not in such a huge rush there anyhow. I wouldn't mind losing the chest by next summer, but with the delays going on with therapy and such.. it's likely not going to happen.

Also came out to parents last week. Moms fine and cool with it - completely. I think she would have been more upset if I told her I was failing a class. Dad on the other hand  is super concerned.. outted me to my boss. Wrote a really creepy letter reffering to me as how he thinks I am sexy and such. I felt dirty after that. It was kinda like dad was hitting on me.

Uhhmmm.. I got outed at school by a proffesor.. though only one friend appeared to pick up on it. However I denied that it was me, and he hasn't brought it up again. So it appears I'm doing well there. However after that scenario, had to go report that the proffesor violated the freedom of information protocols.. or something like that. Canadian law he broke.. Eventually it ended up in me being able to get my name changed completely in the school system, on transcripts and everything, even though I do not have my legal name changed yet. The schools taking a risk there.. because they've created this individual who legally doesn't exist.. and erased an individual that did legaaly exist,  and it means I'm screwd if I pick up scholarships or such. But whatever.. it means I can't get outed by stupid professors now which takes a load of stress off of me. I was having to pretend that I wasn't in my classes before hand.. even though I was there.. lolz.

Otherwise.. my male passing is going most excellent.. only a few people with intense gaydar have kinda guessed or wondered. Making tonnes of new friends.

Just got to figure out things with dad.. and hurry up and wait as the saying goes. I thought maybe I'd get on T before christmas.. but i had a 5 week wait to get my referals, another month on top of that now to get in to see a therapist, etc.. so meh. I guess it just gives me more time to be 100% sure.. so I won't complain.

Oh yeah.. working out too has been going well, using the males changing room and such now as well. That's the good things about packers and the binders that look like tank tops. Can go into the guys change room and get changed into gym clothes without worrying. I mean I could happen to run into an old friend that doesn't know I'm trans.. and that could be awkward.. but.. hey! I belong in the guys changeroom and I'll stay there.

This semester a lot of my profs talk about trans peoples.. because it's relevent to the curriculum, and I'm oving that classmates that I know as of this semester... are like.. we don't know anyone who's trans, I've never interacted with one.. and blah blah blah. I think I may out myself to a few specific people at the end of the semester.. just for the heck of it. I'd like to see the surprised looks on their faces.

I feel like today is full of win.

I've outed myself randomly to a few people and it's good times.  Usually I have to repeat the information a few times because they don't believe me or can't comprehend what I'm saying.  It's a huge ego boost if you have those that you trust.  It helps others to know that trans people are living among them invisible or not.   

I'm sorry about your Dad.  Hopefully he will come around.  At least it sounds like he is trying to understand even though he went about it in what sounds like the wrong way. 

I am known by male name everywhere I go as well.  When I was in treatment for depression at the hospital the situation was similar to the way they are handling it at your school.  Worked out pretty good.  I was in both in treatment and out treatment and there was only one mistake.  That was amazing really.  She corrected herself immediately and the other patients that overhead just assumed she misspoke. 

Any rate good on you!  You will get there and someday look back at all this annoying waiting as a small bump in road.  Just keep looking ahead man because it's going to get so better from here on out.

Yeah the whole professor thing was stupid. I started out with just having my preffered name changed in the school system. One of my profs put the class list with names, phone numbers, student id's, emails, etc. up on the big power point.. with all of our info and left it up. He then tried to find one ________, and he's like where is she, you can't pretend to not be here, blah balh blah. it's pretty similar to my chosen name, and one of my friends was like.. is that you? And you could tell the gears were turning in his head. However I said no it wasn't, and pretended to just not be there.

Later I told the local Gay/Lesbian Alliance leader what happened (he's trans too).. and he's like that's illegal. So He hooked me up with a prof who would be understanding, and I talked with her - and she filed a complaint. The leader dude then went in with me to talk to the Vice President of the Uni.. to see about getting my name changed in the system so such incidents wouldn't happen again - as it's a safety issue. And she was like yeah, we've done this for 2 students previously in the past (only 2... O_O).. go see counselling services.. and if you can get them to sign off on getting your name changed here, I'll do it for you. So I went to counselling services, and got approval in about 1 minute... seriously. She just looked at me and said she'd sign off on it. We spent the rest of the appointment chatting about grad school. So the uni Created a new student in their records, and erased an old one. If I go to transfer somewhere before I get my legal name changed.. It's going to be difficult, or if I get scholarships or anything.. because my name is changed right down to the official transcripts - there is no evidence that I was ever going by a different name other then peoples memories - who have mostly just known me by my preffered name anyways. I was super happy about that. Legal name change should be coming soon anyhow.

Full of win. I feel priveleged that the university would do that for me, because from my understandings - most univeristies will not do so. And especially one of 3 students ever to get this privelege here. All the staff memebers I've had to talk to about this have been super helpful and understanding and respectful. It makes me feel soooo good.

Quote from: Tad on October 20, 2010, 01:51:19 PMOne of my profs put the class list with names, phone numbers, student id's, emails, etc. up on the big power point.. with all of our info and left it up.

Wow. Just... wow. I can't believe he put up all that private, sensitive info up for everyone to see. Doesn't he think this could be dangerous? At my university our student ID was our social security number. If I saw that publicly put up......

He kinda asked before hand as he was posting the list up if anybody took offence to it. And of course no one said anything. The fact that he pulled me off that list as one of the few that he tried to find was super annoying. What's even funnier is this prof studies transexuals as one of his main areas of research. So I guess that was a big outing for me to him, once the complaints got filed and such.

Anyhow, I really want T right now.