For ages iv wanted to go out dressed up but im to worried what other people think.Also i found some shoes that i really like but i dare not buy them as i could never wear them out.

this question is for anyone thats ever went out dressed up.

dont you worry what others may think.how did you overcome this if you did worry about what others think?.


tammy

Worrying about what others think is the big drawback to doing anything daring.  I do not mean that worrying about your safety or personal or professional consequences is not important.  They are important.  But they should not be confused with fearing the opinions of strangers.  If you live your life to conform to others opinions then you will never live your own life.

Svetlana made a very good point regarding this, I think.

Quote from: Svetlana on May 25, 2005, 08:16:00 PM
...
i look at it this way:  you could get beaten up, so do you dare go out "dressed"?  you could get run over, so do you dare cross the road?  you could get hit by a meteor, so do you dare live above the earth's surface?  you could get your feelings hurt, so do you dare fall in love?  you could ache, so do you dare move?  you could choke, so do you dare speak?  you could die, so do you dare live?

That is from this thread, I also liked Susan's advice from that thread.

Hey Tammy,

First off, I agree with Louise in which she said: If you live your life to conform to others opinions then you will never live your own life.

I've gone out dressed a lot since I went public four years ago. One thing I always do is to make sure that everything looks really good and makes me more passable. For me it's like a total change of character for me when I become my fem self.

Gina

I've only gotten up the courage to go out dressed up once. It kind of freaked me out a little. So now I'm back inside for awhile. But, I would love to go out again...so maybe with a little encouragement from you girls I will get up the courage again...

Amy

It is a brave and bold step to go outside dressed in womens clothes. Do you have anyone who will go with you? I experienced a horrible situation recently on train when a gang of youths were making fun a crossdresser. My advice is to be very very carefull. I have been out several times but I have the comfort of being with my wife and when quizzed we have said we are going to afancy dress party. She usually dresses as a man when I am in drag.

no problem going out,just be sure to dress ok and not in out of the ordinary. when you go out check to see what other wemom are wareing. people are to busy with they own lives.
i have gone out several times dress.but you have to look good.i go shoping as well.

well the first thought that we ("we" being inclusive of CD, TV, TS, etc.) obsess about is wondering what people will think. chances are, when you're out, most people will not notice you because they are too wrapped up in their own lives to care. this is especially true when going out dressed, driving around for a bit, and waiting at a stop light. I always obsessed and worried about what people were thinking, if I was being read, what they might say or do, etc. Finally I got tired of it and told myself "who cares what other people think?" that and "act natural Allie, this is nothing unusual for you. you're just going about your business as usual." and the always classic "stop looking around trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking! if you look suspicious or nervous people will pick up on it!"

so, in conclusion: try not to dwell on it, eventhough we all have, will, or do dwell on it. just remember that you're not doing anything wrong, illegal, or immoral. you're being yourself and you're expressing who you truly are, and there should be no shame in that. and think about those who are too scared/mortified/intimidated to do what you're doing. some of those people might be looking at you wishing they could do what you're doing. draw your personal strength from that.

...and when you do go out, be safe! 

I agree. What people are seeing in me is who I am a girl.  A girl is what I feel like so that is how I am going to dress, in a dress or a skirt or other female clothes. 
Hugs
Carli

That's geat Tammy just remember that others may not be quite as accepting as you would like. So be careful when you go out that you don't put yourself at risk.

Hugs Shelley

Hi I  am Nancy going out dressed is very scarey for me i have done it twice ist time my GF and i went to walmart i was dressed i was walking around the parking lot i felt so good but i was scared i kept looking around the 2nd time i got dressed by my self i took a ride it felt so good but it felt like every body was watching me and they know i was a man i didnt stay out long when my daughter come home she was me to dressup and go out with her clothes shopping i want to i wont be alone anything you say to help me get over this being scared thank you nancy

I go out dressed quite frequently and have not had any problems.  I am careful about where I go and when.

The first time one of my neighbors saw me leaving the house, I realized there was no way out of the situation.  I walked up to her and said that I'd like to introduce her to Anne.  I then invited her in the house to talk and we had a great conversation.  Since then she has told me that her kids and husband know about Anne and it is no problem.  Many of my other neighbors also know Anne and I've not had any issues with any of them.

When shopping, I go to the nicer downtown department stores and often go at lunch hour or just at the end of the work day.  I like to wear skirts, and you tend to see more women in skirts shopping at those times.  If you are friendly and up front about yourself, people tend to accept you.  I've even had genetic women offer to help me in picking out shoes etc.

It is a wonderful experience and worth the nervousness you first experience.

Anne