Hello hello, everyone!

My name is Sarah and I am an 18 year old college freshman, studying psychology.  I am new to these forums, but I have made a few threads so far.  I came here because I'm confused about gender.  It doesn't make much sense to me.  I guess I just think that people should just be who they are and if that happens to fit some stereotype, so what?  I think it's society's view of it that baffles me more than ->-bleeped-<- itself.  Transexualism, on the other hand, does confuse me.

As for my gender... well, I don't really have an internal sense of femininity or masculinity... I'm just me.  I know I'm not masculine, but I don't exactly feel I have any reason to feel feminine either... I guess that makes me an androgyne, doesn't it?  Or does it?  I don't exactly dress in unisex clothes or anything... I dress in female clothes.  On the other hand, I don't wear make up, shave my legs, do anything to my hair other than wash and brush it, or pluck my eye brows.... I don't know what all this means as far as my gender....

As for my sexuality... well, I tried to figure it out, but I just got confused.  I used to see myself as straight, just because I didn't find any reason to think otherwise.  Then one day when I was feeling rather "asexual," I looked it up and found out that it was an actual sexual orientation and my sense of sexual identity became a bit shaky.  Then I also started to wonder what was so great about men.  As I opened my mind to possibilities other than heterosexual, all hell broke loose in my previously contented sense of sexual identity.  When I wasn't thinking about it, I was "heterosexual," but then as I thought about it, I began to see myself as more and more "queer."  Right now, I'd say I fluctuate between asexual and hyposexual, but I'm so confused about sexual attraction that I'm really not quite sure...  As for which gender I'm attracted to... I really don't know.  I stopped trying to figure it out after I got a boyfriend, but if I wasn't with him, I'd probably be open to being with a female, or anyone in between.

So, yeah, that's me.  or part of me.  those are really just a few minor things about me, as far as I'm concerned.  the way I see it, those things are really only important when it comes to me and my boyfriend... So, anyway, see you around!

Hello Sarah, welcome to Susan's.  Thank you for the introduction.  It's always nice to know something about the people who come here.

I wouldn't worry too much about how to categorize yourself.  No matter where you place yourself you are still you.  Isn't that all that's important?

Please take the time to familiarize yourself with the rules of the site and also look around at the other features such as the Wiki and Reference Library.  You may find some of the answers you are looking for.

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Julie

Hello Sarah,

Welcome; it's nice to have you here.  Julie is right about the sources of information available here, and you will find a lot of friends at Susan's.  

Susan Kay  
(by the way, I sometimes feel the need to point out that I'm not the Susan, just honored to share a great name.  There's even another Susan K, but I was here first!  >)

Quote from: HelloToYou on December 15, 2006, 02:16:13 AMHello hello, everyone!

Hi Sarah! And welcome!!! I'm so glad you found us. It's a pretty cool place, isn't it? All KINDS of neat stuff to browse through. And great people to help ya or lend a supportive shoulder when needed.

QuoteI came here because I'm confused about gender.  It doesn't make much sense to me.  I guess I just think that people should just be who they are and if that happens to fit some stereotype, so what?  I think it's society's view of it that baffles me more than ->-bleeped-<- itself.  Transexualism, on the other hand, does confuse me.

What confuses you about transsexualism? Can we help by answering questions?

One of the differences perhaps between TGism and TSism is TSs *also* feel an incongruity with their BODY. Where simply "being themselves" might be enough for many people, TSs are always stuck with the physical reminder that they were born as the wrong sex. No amount of freedom of expression will cure that. It certainly HELPS to be able to "just be you" regardless of stereotypes, but it dosn't go far enough for a TS (usually). The body must change too.

Or at least that's true for me... other TSs may feel differently of course.

QuoteAs for my gender... well, I don't really have an internal sense of femininity or masculinity... I'm just me.

We've kicked around questions like, "Can you inherently FEEL like a male or female somehow inside, independent of comparisons to other people and stereotypes?" I don't think we came to any conclusive answers. I'm certainly much, MUCH more confortable in female roles and social circles... everything sorta "flows" and makes sense, whereas when I was busy trying to be male, I really was TRYING. But does that give me an inner sense of being feminine? I don't know, kinda maybe... but I DO know what works for me.

QuoteAs for my sexuality... well, I tried to figure it out, but I just got confused.

Enjoy the ride, lol. Once I seriously started facing who I was, my sexuality was turned upside down... or I should say it became unentangled, uncovered. It was always so twisted up by all this pretending, that I never saw it clearly. I'm beginning to now.. and the implications are scaring me.

Again Sarah, welcome!!! I hope you enjoy your stay

Kate

Hi, Sarah, Welcome!

I can't add anything to what the others have said except my agreement.

hugs & smiles & again, WELCOME ! !  
helen

Hello Sarah,
I'm glad to meet you.
Labels don't mean allot but can be helpful. Many of us that are under the same label are very different. Take me. I'm androgyne and under that category I'm bi-gender (male spirit and female spirit in one body but not mixed). The female is transsexual oriented while the male is not.
And many of us are confused about what we are.
Anyway what is important is that you except yourself as you are. That you stretch out your wings as it were and learn how to just be you and not what society or others want you to be.
I'm glad that you found this site and I will be watching for more of your postings.
Welcome to Susan's.
Jillieann/JR

Hi Sarah,


Wellcome to Susan's place. Your posts have been very interesting. Enjoy your stay here.

Alice

Thank you for the warm welcomes, everyone (o:  I think I shall stick around (o;
Posted on: December 16, 2006, 02:47:40 AM

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Quote from: Kate on December 15, 2006, 10:37:14 AMWhat confuses you about transsexualism? Can we help by answering questions?

I suppose it mostly has to do with "why?"  Ok, so sometimes people want to be the opposite sex, but why to the point that they would actually go through plastic surgery?  I guess I'm just more into natural beauty.  I guess, to me, it's kind of like a girl who's uncomfortable with her flat chest, so she gets a boob job instead of just learning to accept her physical self for what it is.  I understand that not all transsexuals have the surgery and that yes indeed there are people who feel more strongly about their physical appearance than me, but that doesn't mean I can relate to how they feel.  I just feel like a person's sex is simply a physical characteristic which means it all boils down to appearance, and I don't see appearance as being too terribly important.  Sure it can result in someone treating you a certain way, but the people who are really worth your time, will know how to treat you.

Quote from: Kate on December 15, 2006, 10:37:14 AMWe've kicked around questions like, "Can you inherently FEEL like a male or female somehow inside, independent of comparisons to other people and stereotypes?" I don't think we came to any conclusive answers. I'm certainly much, MUCH more confortable in female roles and social circles... everything sorta "flows" and makes sense, whereas when I was busy trying to be male, I really was TRYING. But does that give me an inner sense of being feminine? I don't know, kinda maybe... but I DO know what works for me.

I don't think you can feel inherently male or female.  As a kid, you don't even know what those are.  To a young child, a girl is a person with long hair who sometimes wears dresses and a boy is a person with short hair that never wears dresses.  That's as far as the concept of male versus female goes for kids and it's all based on the way society has portrayed men and women.