I never had the 'click' that I was in the wrong body. Just some 'I want to be a boy' and 'I like boy clothes/toys' thoughts now and then. I didn't like girl things, when I played pretend (which I did almost every day with my friends) I was ALWAYS the boy, I told my cousins to call me Mark or Louie. I preferred my Ken dolls over my Barbie dolls. Most of my beanie babies were 'boys' But I never put two and two together because I just didn't think about it. I had other things to be sad about, severe depression, suicidal thoughts since before I knew what suicide was, severe anxiety. It wasn't until I was around 17 when I found out what being transsexual meant, and that I felt male. But 'wanting to be a boy' thoughts started around 3 or 4.

Quote from: Morgan on October 30, 2010, 09:36:45 PM
I never had the 'click' that I was in the wrong body. Just some 'I want to be a boy' and 'I like boy clothes/toys' thoughts now and then. I didn't like girl things, when I played pretend (which I did almost every day with my friends) I was ALWAYS the boy, I told my cousins to call me Mark or Louie. I preferred my Ken dolls over my Barbie dolls. Most of my beanie babies were 'boys' But I never put two and two together because I just didn't think about it. I had other things to be sad about, severe depression, suicidal thoughts since before I knew what suicide was, severe anxiety. It wasn't until I was around 17 when I found out what being transsexual meant, and that I felt male. But 'wanting to be a boy' thoughts started around 3 or 4.

You know, this may sound strange, but I was always a girl when I played pretend with my friends. I remember my best friend when I was five and I would play Powerpuff Girls and I'd be Bubbles. I played with Barbies, but was embarrassed by it so I didn't let anybody find out and I'd hide them when friends came over.

I think this was what caused me to doubt my trans-sexuality at first because I looked up the symptoms of GID and I didn't fit some of it. I mean, I liked the woodshop thing my daycare had when I was little and I would play that if it wasn't my turn for the video games. Basically, I liked girly toys, but it was embarrassing because I wanted to be a boy.

Well, I fit the whole "refusing to sit down when peeing" and whatnot. It's more like, I had the body issues rather than social issues (being called "she", etc.) because I've always just been a bit of a girly boy.

I don't remember not knowing. I didn't know other people felt this way, or transitioned, until I was 13.

Devyn, I had girl toys that I liked, don't get me wrong. I loved pound puppies, kitty-kitty-kittens (They purred! That was the coolest thing to me XD ), things like that.

I don't think many people completely fit the bill of GID. I never hated my genitals. I still don't. I never asked for a penis, I never thought about things like that at all. I didn't hate puberty, in fact, I was excited because I was growing up and that was a big deal. I never played any sports, I did ballet (Though I didn't like it.) and I was a Girl Scout. Just because we had a normal childhood doesn't mean we aren't transsexual. You know who you are inside, you're more mature now. I'm not surprised that we didn't completely act like boys when we were little kids, not all little kids think about those things! I was too concerned with catching all the pokemon, and hanging out with friends.

Quote from: ~Jay~ on June 07, 2010, 10:50:10 AM
I knew from when I was a child I wanted to be a boy all my friends were boys I didn't like girly things, and I now know its not going to go away and its taken me along time to do something about it.

same.

Quote from: Devyn on October 30, 2010, 08:39:35 PM
My depression of being female got to the point where hearing female pronouns made me want to cut my ears off or go deaf. It was like nails on a chalkboard.

Oh god yes.  My native language has a male and female form for every verb and I thought for a very long time I have a serious psychosis because I started shivering and got goosebumps every time I had to use it in a sentence about me. When I write my diary, I write it in masculine form, because female verbs just don't go.

Quote from: Devyn on October 30, 2010, 09:48:08 PM
I played with Barbies, but was embarrassed by it so I didn't let anybody find out and I'd hide them when friends came over.

Haha, I did the same thing XD. But I retooled my barbies (I never liked them that much, but relatives kept giving me them as presents. I never asked for them...) to make them warriors and give them scars. Unfortunately they wouldn't fit into GI Joe size costumes...

I would have liked a warrior Mulan barbie, but since Mattel made only "Chinese beauty style" ones (and the point of the film was that Mulan didn't have to be one, and was more than that!) I never had it sigh 

EDIT: I also never liked baby dolls (what's the fun of having to take care of an infant? And it's even fake!), I never played house and I was NEVER a mommy in any pretend games.

I realized that something was off Oct. '09. It was a couple weeks before my birthday. By Feb. '10 I realized that I was FTM and I was then binding every day and going by Sebastien in my college courses.

Recalling my youth I had two male cousins who I played video games with. This is pretty neutral because they were my only cousins my age. Then in my neighborhood I hung out with all the guys on the block and played video games. Male comeradery went up, but I was just considered a tomboy. My puberty hit at 9, I hated the blood and the chest. I didn't have the strong hateful thoughts though. I just ignored it really. Several times from here until high school I cross dressed at home, trying things to flatten my chest and gain  package, but I didn't think much of it all. When I was about 10/11 I cut my hair short and everywhere I went I was called a boy. I loved it, but my dad would always ruin it. Then feeling I remeber was being neutral, it grew to become awkward and disappointing as I got older. I grew apart from things with depression due to harrassment from other kids since I was "outed" in 5th grade of liking girls...

I feel like I'm just rambling on about my life story. Forget it all.

Yea I remember around age 5 I started praying to wake up as a boy and I never considered myself a girl, i'd ge mad when my boy cousins got to wear trunks and I had to wear a bathingsuit. But it wasn't as bad until puberty hit and I got so depressed I even started the hopeless praying again. But I didn't find out about transgender and the transition process until I was 17.

As far back as I can remember, I thought something was wrong with me. I just though I was a tomboy, or a manly girl though. I never really thought "hey, I'm a boy trapped in a girl's body". I've pretty much always looked like a boy and been called one by strangers. I've used the men's room since I was probably 11, and have posed as male online since we got a computer at around age 10. I have pictures from when I was a kid of me playing all kinds of sports with my boy friends and flexing my muscles. I hated wearing bathing suits instead of swim trunks too, and I begged my parents to let me play on my dad's little league football team. I live in a tiny town though, so everyone knows me as "girl name", the butchy girl. I date guys so everyone just assumes I'm a weird girl. Until I went away to college at age 18, I had no idea what FTMs were. I always felt connected to the GLBT community, but didn't know why. I figured I was just accepting of them, even though the only porn I like is gay men. So when I went away to college, joined a GLBT group, and found out about transguys, everything fell into place. I started binding my chest and using a male name. I started hating when people referred to me by female pronouns and the few occasions when I didn't pass sent me into a depression. I'm 20 now and still working on my transition because of family issues, but atleast now I can explore who I am and I know I'm not a girl.

I've always wanted to be a boy. I've always had some masculine characteristics, too. Even when I heard of transgender/transsexualism, I hadn't considered that might be me.  I hadn't really thought of it as being "in the wrong body" until about a year ago, which is when I came out as trans. I guess I was probably repressing my thoughts/feelings, as I had some bad experiences when acting masculine as a child. this girl once called me "it," and I nearly got into a fight for that one. I wouldn't have minded if she had called me he. But through high school, I at least half-attempted to be girly. It never really felt right though.

So I knew at age 19, my second year in college. I feel like I should have known sooner though.

I've always known, to some extent, I've just never put a name to it until about a year ago. Living where I do, I grew up with no access to the LGBT community at all, and while I found out later that my family had suspicions about me, apparently none of them thought to share them with me. So I grew up afraid of puberty, as most people here seem to have been to some extent, and not understanding why it was so important to grow hips and boobs. I also went through the makeup phase in middle school, trying to be girly for a few months before realizing it was a major waste of my time.
The first time I cut my hair into a boy cut was in high school, and I never looked back. From how I see it, from that point on it's just been a series of steps closer and closer to the label of FtM. Now, at the age of 20, I'm in therapy and working my way towards T. Life is great.

I've got to say, this board has been really nice to read. I was unsure of myself for awhile because I didn't fit the DSM's diagnosis box for GID, but it seems a lot of people don't fit perfectly, and that's reassuring.

My first realization of being trans (well, actually I'm not, but that's a long story...) was when I was 3. My father told me males would become stronger than females and that females made babies. Then, if that's how it was, I wanted to be male too...

(I wonder how different my life would have been if he didn't make that little comment)

Haha, my mother caught me trying to pee standing up while being potty trained.  That's the first sign I can think of.  Aside from that, I have always lived a fairly gender-neutral life.  Honestly, I'm still trying to figure things out.  So my answer: always and not yet. 

Some of my earliest memories are of knowing everyone thought I was a girl and thinking they were strange/silly, but somehow I got convinced to pretend to be a girl. I remember relating more to male characters and having male character costumes, Peter Pan and Mowgli I had costumes of, and I liked pretending to be Wheeler from captain planet and imagine I was shooting fire at people, but I also remember having those costumes taken away and being told I really liked the little mermaid when I was older and had an assignment to ask about how I was as a small child. (I did love the idea of being a merperson, that's for damn sure; I liked pretending the bathtub was the ocean lol) I had a really "gender complementarian" upbringing though so there was a lot of dissonance from a very early age.

I was given a lot of barbies but outside of playing with them when I had friends over and putting clothes on them if I found them naked I wasn't really interested in them, and preferred to wrestle and play/fight my brother and my dad. We all liked wrestling for a while, They liked the Rock and Stone-Cold Steve Austin, I liked Cain (Kane? Kaine? IDK how to spell it I was ten) too.

[*I hope their understand my Post, my English is very bad.]

My first real problems came with 15, because i got my 'red horror'. Then I didn't make a lot of sport, but i never saw or said "Iam in the wrong body". When I look back in time, I wasn't a girl. I have moved in sport with boys in the primary school. I ever played football with guys (until i could no longer exists, because we had boygroups and girlgroups). I had always boys as friends, but there came a time... I couldn't longer go to boys as a friend, because I was a girl. I didn't understand my problem, why I felt bad with a boyfriend. My Stepfather was the first person which sent me a newspaper article on TS 2 years ago. He knew my problem with myself, but I ignored it, because I said to me "I have to have a boyfriend and I am a girl!", but I wasn't a real girl.
In real I sought picture about TS and forums, but I ever I said 'No, Iam not a TM', although I had the desire to be a man.
However, I can't lie longer to me and to other. I am a man (TM) and it feels better as a woman.

I've always known i was a boy  As far back as i can remember (starting at 2) i hated dresses, i thought girls were yucky, and just was "one of the guys". My friends and i used to play with pokemon cards, beyblades and yu gi oh in our backyards  I loved cars and planes (still do ) and alot of other typical boy things  I wished that i would wake up in a boys body everynight, since i was 10 this issue has been so devestating for me and i used to cry every night because i wanted to be male so badly. I tried to kill myself when i was 13 because i thought i was a freak and no one else was experiancing the same things. I felt so alone. After that i began going to a psychatrist (court ordered  ) and my doctor diagnosed me with GDD. I had no idea about the trans world, i had no exposure to any of that. I did all the research i could on the issue and that was the first time actually saying that that was what i am, i'm an FtM  I was never a girl, i just have a birth defect  I was so happy! I was 15 when i finally came to the realization that i am transgender. I went through the denial period for a few years (from 13 to 15  ) then i got on the right track to becoming who i should've been born as. Still waiting for T  My mom is still in *her* denial period 

Quote from: UnusualSuspect on November 03, 2010, 01:45:41 PM
GDD

I meant GID XD

_{I knew I wasn't 'right', I suppose, for a loong time before I realized I was trans. I realized I was trans when I read the book "Luna" by Julie Anne Peters (Freshman year; 14). Though Luna was mtf rather than ftm, it opened a whole new world to me.}

I was 16.  Before that it didn't bother me until I hit puberty.  I didn't like my body or acting girly or having to correct people when they called me "he", so I assumed it was just low-esteem.  Well, I fixed that and I still felt the same (still couldn't look at myself naked and such), so I assumed it was hormones and put it off. It was pretty much "Ok yeah, I want to be a guy.  Now I'll just grow out it and stop being a baby."  Then a friend came out to me who felt the same way, so I finally accepted it at 18 with her and we helped each other.

I didn't have any huge signs really.  I was quiet, stayed to myself, didn't do much physically.  Then I hit 13 and it just upset me to no end.  I spent a lot of time angsting in my early teens because I was confused and depressed and had nobody to talk to. It was only at 16 I discovered the term somewhere on the internet and could look more into it.