The Thing About D.C.'s Gay Drag Queen Race Is

http://www.queerty.com/the-thing-about-d-c-s-gay-drag-queen-race-is-20101029/

As we all know, literally every family values politician is gay with either his pastor/masseuse or whichever guy's foot he kicks in the john, proving there are lots of gay people hiding in Washington. The question is: where? (Teabaggers say the gays are in Dupont Circle, but I am writing this from a Starbucks in Dupont right now and all I see are women in FAKE pearls ordering burned-to-piss coffee.)

On Tuesday, dear friends, I found the gays.

Did you know that DC loves drag queens? I did not know that, but then a friend from the college where I drank invited me to watch the "Drag Queen Race" from her Dupont Circle mansion. "What is a Drag Queen Race?" I asked, to which she responded, "Google it, dicknose!" because I forgot that it is lame not to rely on computers for everything. When I did Google it, I discovered that it is an annual District tradition to drink alcohol in the middle of 17th street on a Tuesday and scream at men in dresses, just like a drunken bigot. Yippee!