well this seems to be going by faster and smoother than i thought at first, though back when i first realized i thought time was going by soooo slow and this past couple months I'm like my God time has flown by! haha. i guess in a way it's good that i was afraid of telling my mom that I'm trans until the moment it happened (2 weeks ago tomorrow) because if i had the nerve sooner, before she noticed me all my life never acting feminine, not shave all summer, before she saw me rebelliously buying and wearing mens clothes for a few years then maybe she would have really thrown a hissy fit over this, she didn't at all, she has every same bit of respect for me and my wishes, wants me to be happy and such and such. you get the idea. i without knowing gave her years of warning about it which made it easier for me.
though - gosh i really hope women who just like to wear mens clothes aren't offended because i do realize there are female identified people out there who just so happened to like wearing mens clothes and short hair for instance. i do all these things because i know it's me. and part of me being male so...anyway I'm glad i didn't contact the other 3 or 4 endocrinologists in MI out of fear (though i was mad at myself before this morning) because my gp said she'd help contact the main best one in the state that has everything i mean EVERYTHING in the program, HRT, counseling, surgeries, voice therapy and that it'll probably go smoother that way with the docotrs office calling the gender program, giving them a direct phone number to call me back on. i could have an appointment to go there in a couple weeks or so! whaaaah?! the only problem is i have no idea how I'm getting to Ann Arbor. an hour and a half away with maybe one relative who might be able to if they don't have to work that day. i can only think of an aunt that i can talk to, i told her I'm a guy months before i told mom ha. i just don't see her often but i still would feel comfortable asking her this, i really need to get there if i speak to someone and get the go to. I'd just pay for gas...maybe mom can go too.
haha make a family trip of it, off to Ann Arbor to turn our daughter into our son wheeee! taking a taxi from there to here and back again is not only a huge pain and expensive but i wouldn't feel as safe. hhmm man i wish i hadn't screwed myself over when i decided i wouldn't drive again a few years ago from too many bad experiences, panic attacks. now I'm not waiting the several months - years it's going to take to get my license and car just to transition. dang! I'm just going to really hope a family member can take me and eventually I'll be able to take myself.
