I came out to my sister the other day after not talking for over three years. We became estranged after my Mother died in 2001 over unfulfilled expectations and stopped talking in 2003. Sound familiar to anyone?
Well, my therapist had me read the book "The Ridle Of Gender". So I had to call her to find out if she knew if Mom had taken DES when she was pregnant with me in the 50's. I was very anxious about making the call as we last departed after terribly mean words about the horribly disfuctional time of our early childhood.
But I made the call and her husband answered. We talked as if it was only yesterday and he was friendly and warm which surprised me and me feel better. Then my sister got on the phone and we talked for over an half hour and caught up on all the family.
Then I popped the DES question and my GID. Without hesitation she said yes, Mom had taken the drug during her pregnancy. I immediately broke down. She consoled me and asked me why. I explained the implications for daughters and then went into the hypothosis of DES implications for sons and again I broke down. My sister was immediately comforting and told me that she loved me no matter if i liked to wear women's clothes. She tried to console me further by telling me that her husband has a picture of him in drag over his garage work bench.
We then talked about our love for each other and the difficult times we had as young children. She then asked me if what I had previously told her about my abuse if that still seemed true. I shared with her more detail of the experiences and she accepted them as truth for the first time. This was a moment I have waited many years for. That someone else in the family would accept and acknowledge these terrible events had occured.
We then openly talked about our love for each other and our early childhood. Her concerns, struggles, efforts and pain in trying to protect me from getting hurt. I spoke of my my love for my big sister and for playing with her and as my role model. These were beautiful moments for us both.
We then said that we both needed to go. She then stated that she loved me unconditionally no matter what I was or might become. Again I broke down and wept.
I now have my sister back and could not be happier. We are close now as we were when we were small children.
Oh Happy Day,
Kylie
