Hi,

My name is Marissa. I live and work as female although I was born genetically male. I have been on a long journey through gender and through my life.

I grew up in a country which ostracizes and abuses LGBT people. Around age 3 or 4, I realized there was something wrong with my gender, although I could not articulate my feelings. Around age 5, I realized after seeing the abuse of transgender people that I should never talk about my own feelings to anyone from that country. I have come a long way since then. I now live and work as female.

I am hoping I can learn from some of you and share with all of you. I would also be thrilled to make a few good friends here because I live quite a lonely life.

Marissa

Hi Marissa,

Welcome to our little family. Over 3900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation Rules
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

Thank you for the solitary welcome. 

Welcome to Susan's Marissa !!!

   You will find Susan's to be a very encouraging and helpful site. Your experiences have been long and difficult ones. I am glad you can share them with us. .

  Our clouds do have a silver lining in them. But sometimes they just seem a bit tarnished.
  Nothing a little polish can't fix. 


    Hugs, Erocse

Hi Marissa 

Welcome to Susan's     

Transitioning is not an easy road... We are all here for you                     

Hello Marissa,
It is good to meet you.
Thank you for the introduction.
If your look for friends and or information about gender issues this is the place.
Check out the Wiki, with ton of info on the gender topics.
Glad you joined.
Jillieann

Thank you for sharing. I think all of us have asked those questions at one time or another. Only you can really answer most of them. The finding a loving partner one is a big question. I have known people who have found love  after transitioning and others who are literally screaming with frustration because they have not. I wish you luck finding the answers .

welcome marissa 

Hi, Marissa and welcome.  I'm new here myself. 

You may not realize how lucky you are in that you already have an employment record as a female so that part of your transition is behind you forever.

Only you can judge how far you will go but my experience tells me the strongest limitations to reaching one's dreams are the ones we, ourselves, impose.  We are, in many cases, our own worst enemies, demons and fears.  No one has a link to the future, we have to create it as we go. 

Whatever you choose, best of luck and happy dreams.
Susan

Hi Marissa
welcome to the forum.

In some way we are all lonely, we are special people with specific problem's
That's why we talk to eachother, we understand eachother.
so your not alone anymore, you've got friends, and we know what you are dealing with.

hugs annette

Quote from: marissak on November 03, 2010, 06:59:30 PM
Puberty was the hardest phase, with lots of body hair and facial hair growing and with hair loss on my scalp. Then my sexuality got tangled with my gender issue, and I am still unable to untangle that mess. Because I could do nothing about my internal struggle, I focused on academics and gathering knowledge of the world. Great grades and scholarships meant that I could move to the US.

However, I do not know what will come out of my life if this is the end-point of my transition. Will I ever find someone who truly loves me to be my partner for life? Will I ever have children? Do I need to undergo surgery at some point? Is my gender issue only a manifestation of my sexuality?  How should I tell my family about all this? I do not know answers to any of these questions.

I am hoping I can learn from some of you and share with all of you. I would also be thrilled to make a few good friends here because I live quite a lonely life.

Marissa

Marissa:

Honestly, I'm so glad you are here at Susan's Place. 

Just like you, I was aware (albeit it vaguely so at that point) of my gender issues at a young age and, likewise, despaired at and despised of going through a male pubescence. 

Just like you, I concentrated on academics, got scholarships and such.  You did much better than I did, because you stayed in school, graduated and entered a profession.  I bagged college half-way through my senior year. 

Just like you, I also have a difficult time with my androgen blockade.  It dries me out, makes me sleepy and generally makes me feel depleted.  I'm on a high dose of estrogen, but I'm rather older than you are; hence, its efficaciousness is far from being optimal. 

Just like you, I also wonder where transition is taking me.  Will we EVER find anybody who loves us?  We will EVER have enduring and true friendships?  Will we EVER truly find love and friendship with a significant other?  These are the things that REALLY matter in life ... to me anyway and, I most strongly suspect, to you as well. 

Just like you, I wonder if I'll ever find true peace, contentment and happiness.

Know what?  Most of the people on here wonder about exactly those same things ... in their own way ... for their own circumstances.  We've all got that much in common, I'd say.  What this basically means is:  "Welcome to Susan's Place!"

Virtual though it may be, we are your e-family, and you'd be amazed at how positively therapeutic that can be.  We welcome you here with opened arms.  Many of us on here have moreorless lonely lives.  Settle in and meet the people who will become your friends.  Welcome to the family, sis!