Well, not completely.

Many know that I am full time, other than at work. It was, so to speak, the final leap I was waiting on to go full time and change my name.

I ran into a problem where having to switch back and forth was getting to me. I hated having to hide who I really am at work and was angry all day because of it. I was in a nasty mood, bitchy, and snapping at people-- or avoiding them altogether. The business manager knows I'm seeing a therapist, but didn't know for what. I simply said I had personal issues to work through because I had been unhappy most of my life and wanted to change that.

I was going to wait until after I started facial hair removal in Feb-March to come out at work, but as I said having to be MALE at work was getting to be more than I could stand.

Last week I called for a closed meeting with the business manager, mainly because he is the one who hired me and I trust him. Our company has a long-time customer who transitioned, her name is Rachel. Bill has done business with her since before her transition, so he has some -- if limited -- personal experience with this subject. That is how I started the conversation.

"I've heard we have a customer who transitioned." He of course confirmed that, and I just kind of sat there and spread my hands as if to say, "well guess what." The light came on quickly and it wasn't long before I knew I had his full support. He said,

"I won't pretend to understand this, but if this is something you need to do and it makes you happy, then I have your back 100%. We will have to draft a letter and make it official, of course." I spoke about the new owner of the company, and how unsure I was of him accepting and accomodating me. I pointed out that me transitioning in such a small company could cause friction that could lose them employees, possibly even key employees due to harrassment etc. He assured me that NOBODY would be messing with me in any way. He said "I will fire anybody who give you a hard time over this." He also said "You are like a kid to me, and if you were my own son or daughter, I would still back you 100%."

Needless to say, I am happier than I thought I could be. I feel completely blessed to be having such a smooth transition. Everyone in my life so far has been accepting, although some don't like it, and others don't even try to understand, but at least nobody has given me any trouble. Many actually have said things like "wow that explains a lot."

I just wanted to share! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

That's great news! Congratulations!

I would, however, still make copies of his memo that he sends out to everyone for your record. I would also ask for a closed door meeting with the new company owner and business manager before coming out to everyone. You need to be sure that he or she is on board. My partner had the backing of the female corporate managers, but the male local managers had it in for her. They never attended the closed door meetings with the corporate types, and ended up forcing my partner out the door. In the end the corporate types had to support the local management due to legal reasons.

Sooo.... the answer and warning here still is to get the top brass on record with witnesses, and keep and make daily documentation of everything just in case.

I'm sure everything will go as planned, but you do want to protect yourself, particularly if you live somewhere without specific laws on the books affirming gender expression rights.

Thank you Julie, and you are right, there are no laws on the books here in NH yet to protect gender expression. Heck, from what I hear, LYNCHING is still in the law books. How archaic is that? I do plan to document everything, and intend on having a closed meeting with the girl in HR, the Business Manager, and the Owner together. I have worked there going on 8 years now, and would hate to have to start over again because I didn't take the proper steps in coming out in the workplace. It is not something that would keep me from transitioning, however. I told the BM that transition is happening regardless of their decision to accommodate it or not.

Thanks again, and sorry to hear about your partner, that's terrible!

Actually we are all protected to some degree by the United Nations.
have a read of this just to see if it does protect your or give you any rights to therapy etc,.

http://www2.ohchr.org/english/law/cescr.htm

US laws do not reflect all of that agreement and in fact there are laws which disagree with it.  No help.

Anyway, congratulations on your progress so far.  if the staff are used to dealing with a known trans customer, they will at least stop looking for your horns!!

Yep big well done...

If you can generate safe reliable income as the woman you be.... then your well on yer way to a great success personally....

So to all you out there wondering (what if?) it proves once more it can be achieved with blood, sweat and tears determination.... 

Thank you everyone  Monday should be the day when I speak to the Owner about transitioning. I really hope the BM is right in his assertion that he will be supportive!  @justmeinoz haha I stopped hiding my horns long ago lmao @Cruelladeville, yes it is possible! 

nice! your conversation with bill made me smile. good luck with everything.

April:

This is GREAT news!!!

Of course, the others on this thread gave you really good advice.  Surely, I can add nothing to what they said.  May I just offer you my support?  You've got THAT 110%!

Coming out at a smaller company can be risky indeed.  I did just about 2 months ago, and they engineered it to make me resign.  My wife worked for that company at that time and still does.  The moment I came out to them, everything changed but quickly.  My wife noticed it immediately.  Well, I'm recovering.  However, this post is about YOU.

On that note, I believe you'll be okay.  Please keep us abreast of what happens, because we truly want to know.  I enjoy your posts very much.  In a way, I'm a little jealous.   

Originally, I was going to go full time on 31 October 2010, but shortly after that encountered the job fiasco described above.  Because of that, I'm part time again.  Darn!  I had hoped to have started my name change documentation next week ... sigh.  Ain't gonna happen now ... sigh.   

We're totally cheering for you, girl!       Lacey

Thank you Lacey! Just curious, why not go ahead and go full time now? Change your name, then begin looking for a job as Lacey. It won't be easy, I'm sure, but it might be better than waiting until you've found a new job as a man only to tell them you will be transitioning... you've already seen how that can go. My plan if they said they couldn't accomodate me was to quit at the end of the year and just go full time regardless. Nothing and no one was stopping it. I simply HAVE to be me now, or I'll .... well I won't be a very happy person. I won't go back to that, not ever.

I started my name change stuff last month and finally got my letter. The hearing date is set for January 5th; so from that day on I will be April Dawne Knight. Things at work are still going along as planned, they still back me and plan to look out for me. There's a part of me that kinda giggles at what certain people's reactions may be. The confusion, dismay, and ... fear... haha. These people are so full of themselves and so full of drama, I can't help but think "you think you have it bad now, wait till the new year...."

I was pretty scared about it before, but now I'm actually excited. I don't care what one or two bigoted old men might say, their words can't hurt me. Hell, I spent my life being treated like a diseased outcast, and called every name imaginable, it's nothing I haven't experienced before. They won't bring me down, slow me down, or hold me down. I won't hide because of them, and I won't make apologies for who I am.

~April Dawne <3

feeling you have the support at work is a huge step, congratulations