So I just found out my best friend likes me, as in more then a friend. Ive thought this for a long while now and she would never stay in the relationship if i came out and said I was trans.
But she is my best friend so I would never want anything to happen between as anyways?
I no she is going to tell me tomoz. Ive been told be her she has somthing to tell me and are friend told me that she was going to say somthing to.
What do I say to her? any sugestions, im so worried! I don't want anything to happen to our friendship

tell her you need friends right now far more than a intimate relationship.

Tough choice at any time I guess.
Perhaps you could say that you are going through a period where you are questioning your identity and what you want from life, in all sorts of ways, and don't think it fair to start a relationship with anyone right now.  Do you want to travel, settle down, join the Army, whatever?
If you let her know that you really need friends for support rather than a romantic or sexual relationship she might be able to live with that.

I'm sure you know what I am going to say... but I'll say it anyway. You can make this a lot easier by simply telling her the truth - or at least a fair part of it.

Something like "Look I value your friendship so much that I don't want anything to spoil it. The truth is I am having serious issues about my gender, and until they are resolved it would be unfair to both of us to get involved in a relationship. If I decided that I needed to change my gender that would only cause both you and me pain. So please lets just stay fiends because I need your support and I don't want you to get hurt."

You can also explain, as you are still obviously confused and not able to confess this to your parents yet, that it must remain your secret for now. All girls like have secrets! It's kind of our equivalent of all that male play fighting. Having secrets is a real girl bonding thing!

If you give her anything less than the truth now you will almost certainly lose her friendship and respect when the truth does come out anyway because you FAILED the first test of a true friend - which is to trust someone!

It's really best to rip the band-aid off in situations like this.

From the other side of things, I expressed interest in someone I know recently, and she surprised me by expressing an interest in return. I was genuinely skeptical, but she really didn't want to say she just wasn't into me.

Over the last several weeks this has placed considerable strain on the acquaintanceship, and I stopped trying to have anything to do with her over the last few weeks because it's just too weird.

A simple, "Aw, thanks, but I'm not into it" at the start would've been just fine.

Quote from: LordKAT on November 07, 2010, 04:18:10 AM
tell her you need friends right now far more than a intimate relationship.

That's the best way.

Direct, honest and doesn't push the person away.

Do it with a warm smile.

I went through this before, it was sooo annoying because i never liked girls like that and honestly it made me feel miserable that girls liked me, even if i looked feminine. I learned to be upfront about this.

Simple solution: "I dont like you like that."
Dont try fancy explanations they might twist it up and think something else, be upfront.

-Desiree.

I've been struggling with the same thing lately.  The solutions mentioned so far would work well if the other person brought it up directly, but how does one deal with more subtle signs of interest?

For example: The friend introduces you to one of their friends, who says, in front of a bunch of people "Oh, I've heard about you!  You're lucky to be here with [name of friend].  S/he'll treat you well!", or when the person showers you with compliments and then acts all mopey and rejected when you make plans to hang out but have to back out at the last minute because something else came up.

In cases like these, it would be awkward to bring it up because if they're actually not that interested, or choose to deny it, you'd seem like a narcissist.  But if you don't do anything about it, you're guilty of leading them on.  I also worry that if I reject them too strongly, they'll be really hurt, and won't want to be friends anymore.  Or if I don't reject them clearly enough, they'll want to remain friends only because they're clinging to a false hope of it developing into something more. 

Sometimes I get so nervous about stuff like this, I just stop talking to the person, which obviously isn't very nice either.   

Thanks all for the advice, it all went welll