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Man Who Had Two Sex Changes Says They Should Be Outlawed

Started by tori319, November 08, 2010, 09:54:26 PM

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JennX

He hated the way female hormones made him moody and emotional. Shopping bored him and sex was a disappointment.

Well... that should've been a big tip off right there.  :D
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton
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Fencesitter

Lynn Conway wrote some stuff about Charles in this page:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Warning.html

Basically, according to these informations, he made a gender change cause he thought life as a woman would be easier, shopping all the time spending your husband's money, getting doors opened for you etc. instead of having so much responsability like needing to provide money for your family. Or something like that. I must add that the marriage he was in at that time was very traditional, and he seemed to be somewhat clueless about what a woman's life is like outside of his millionaire circles, where trophy wives, whose lives are not very representative for women's lives in general, abound.

I don't like the fact that he over-generalizes at our costs, don't think he is/was a very mature personality and doubt if he tells the truth about the details of his transition and detransition. However, it must have been very hard for him to find out that he had just messed with his body without any need, and that he had ended in a situation comparable to an FTM's situation before/without transition. And him being in the media? Maybe because he seeks attention, maybe because he wants to be able to at least tell his point of view so he has at least a bit of influence on what gets reported, maybe because it does not matter as he's out anyway. We don't know.

I wish him and his fiancée good luck, a great relationship, an accepting environment and all the best for their future and the kid(s), no matter how excentric Charles may be. We shouldn't be so mean to him. He's just a guy who made a big mistake in his life and tries his best to have a decent future in spite of that mistake. And I'm sure he already got enough sh*t thrown at his face in his life, for both transitioning and detransitioning.
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Lyric

If you made everything illegal that people make stupid mistakes with, pretty much everything would be illegal.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs
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Sandy

What a twit!

Because it didn't work out for "him" he wants to ban it for everyone!

He did it before there were such stringent guidelines.  If he had tried today he would not have gotten permission.  At least not from any reputable therapists.  Renee Richards had much the same to say.  She too did it before WPATH.

-Sandy
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Following my bliss.
I am complete...
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K8

He sounds like one of these morons who jumps over the restraining barriers, falls in, and then sues because they didn't protect him from his own stupidity.

He is also making the assumption that too many people make - everyone is exactly like him.  Because he circumvented the system he didn't find out transition wasn't for him, so he assumes it is not for anyone and therefore should be illegal.  He needs remedial lessons in compassion and logic. >:(

I see him telling his story as an attempt to justify what he did.  (Maybe I need a remedial course in compassion. :()

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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JohnR

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spacial

But I suggest, with respect, that the intersting point is that this matter is being dredged up at all.

The original report came from 2007, backed by our UK representive of the feminist facsist movement. I susepct this may have been part of a general hoohaa over a surgeon who was diciplined by the General Medical Council because of some of the SRSs he performed,.

Now the Mail and it's eager cousin, the Telegraph, have resurected it.

Perhaps the think its more intresting than their previous campaign about foxes eating babies.
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Dana Lane

============
Former TS Separatist who feels deep regret
http://www.transadvocate.com/category/dana-taylor
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girl_ashley

We can debate this and take a look at it from all different angles and opinions, but the fact of the matter is that it is proven by the medical community (those that specialize in it at least) that HRT and GRS/SRS/GCS is a proven therapeutic method for treating GID/Gender Incongruence.  A couple of nut jobs like this (isn't there also another in California?) aren't going to bring down our right to change our gender/sex.  Sucessful stories way outnumber these idiots.
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Janet_Girl

Quote from: girl_ashley on November 09, 2010, 12:55:32 PM
We can debate this and take a look at it from all different angles and opinions, but the fact of the matter is that it is proven by the medical community (those that specialize in it at least) that HRT and GRS/SRS/GCS is a proven therapeutic method for treating GID/Gender Incongruence.  A couple of nut jobs like this (isn't there also another in California?) aren't going to bring down our right to change our gender/sex.  Sucessful stories way outnumber these idiots.

It very well is a fact that the successes outweighs the failures.  But the failures get the press.  And they are what our detrackers point too, not that Mary Louise went on to live a productive life.
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cynthialee

as has been said in the past;
if you are not transsexual when you start transition, you will be when you finish
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Tippe

Quote from: Susan on November 09, 2010, 02:36:52 AM
In order for it to have been the wrong thing he had to lie to get through the process. That's why they make us jump through so many hoops because a sex change isn't something to do lightly. The process only works if you are honest with yourself, honest with your therapists, and honest with your doctors. So there is no reason to outlaw a process that helps the people who genuinely need it, just because someone lied to get it.

Quote from: rejennyrated on November 09, 2010, 03:46:26 AM
That is why when I went for my second try in my early twenties I was absolutely determined to bust the system and avoid therapy delays completely.

Quote from: Northern Jane on November 09, 2010, 04:20:24 AM
A sane and reasonable person will do anything and everything they can to ensure they are making the right decision when the consequences are as massive as this one.


I think these three posts highlights the problem with the gatekeeping system. It makes people lie! And when people lie they are not in a position to freely reflect upon their choices. That's very well documented as per the quotes attached to this post.

I'd much rather remove the diagnosis entirely in favor of counselling and support perhabs in a system where one simply needs to apply twice with a one year lapse in-between: everyone who applies the second time proving that they spent time RLE i.e. through statements from their school or work place should be granted the permit. That's the only way to ensure people are in a position to be truly honest and I believe that's absolutely crucial.

I really, really want to be honest myself. I hate to lie and I think it is stupid in a process such as this, yet when the law specifically requires that I 'feel good' on hormones I cannot afford to tell about side-effects. When I know that only 8% of the applicants get a permit over here I cannot afford anything less than a perfect presentation. When I know that family issues have resulted in persons being rejected just like that how can I possible share the distress of not speeking with my mother for several months with my therapist - if instead of compassion and support - telling her will only result in rejection on top of what rejection I've faced from my mother already? Remember we are speaking about a GIC who have explicitly declared in their official program that their task is to determine whether there is any reason for them to go against sex reassignemt and that they are never able to actively recommend the procedure! Gatekeeping means that the transgender person and the therapist are working in different directions rather than collaborating on making the best decission.

In fact it's quite common over here to act for a couple of years until you're allowed your surgery permit. Only then people open up and start work towards clarification and readiness and many people drop out after they got their permits without using them. Now tell me what's the point in those years of acting then instead of being open to discussions from the beginning. It seems like a complete waste of time. In fact I'd say it's even counter productive, because many transgenders seem to need to let themselves out of a long life of acting (a different gender) to become finally free to be who they are themselves, but instead of supportting that development the gatekeepers just push them into even more acting. Sometimes even having to beat-about-the-bush on intimate issues, because they cannot afford to risk the rejection by being honest.

Now, here are the quotes:
From Standards of Care for Gender Identity Disorders:
"Belief in the true transsexual concept for males dissipated when it was realized that such patients were rarely encountered, and thatsome of the original true transsexuals had falsified their histories to make their stories match the earliest theories about the disorder." (5, s. 3).

further

"Ideally, psychotherapy is a collaborative effort. The therapist must be certain that the patient understands the concepts of eligibility and readiness, because the therapist and patient must cooperate in defining the patient's problems, and in assessing progress in dealing with them. Collaboration can prevent a stalemate between a therapist who seems needlessly withholding of a recommendation, and a patient who seems too profoundly distrusting to freely share thoughts, feelings, events, and relationships." (5, s. 12).

From Counselling and Mental Health Care for Transgender Adults and Loved Ones:
"Clinicians conducting assessment prior to initiation of hormones or surgery are in a "gatekeeper" role that involves a power dynamic which can significantly affect therapeutic rapport (Rachlin, 2002). The client often perceives the evaluation not as a desired tool to help them therapeutically determine a plan of action, but rather as a hoop that must be jumped through to reach desired goals, a frightening loss of physical and psychological autonomy, or a type of institutionalized transphobic discrimination – as psychological evaluation is not required for non-transgender individuals requesting hormones, breast augmentation, or hysterectomy (Brown & Rounsley, 1996). In BC, surgery assessors are appointed by the BC Medical Services Plan, further reducing clients' sense of choice about the assessment process.
(...)
Normalizing emotional reactions clients commonly have (e.g., anger, anxiety, fear) and also the common behaviours (e.g., trying to tell the assessor what the client thinks they want to hear, being belligerent/uncooperative, being manipulative) helps frame this as a systems issue rather than a personal power struggle. Discussion about what the assessment process involves (discussed in the next section) is imperative as client anxiety or anger is often heightened by inaccurate understanding of the process." (7, s. 19).

Madeline H. Wyndzen, Ph. D. writes:
"At one time you couldn't transition if you weren't completely 'homosexual' because *obviously* a 'real' female is completely heterosexual. As transsexuals discovered this bias, they lied in order to get surgery. Fortunately today most gender clinics accept sexual orientation and gender identity are distinct." (32).

Yolanda LS Smith, Ph. D. states:
"In most SR applicants the motivation for engaging in psychotherapy is very low. For some because they expect that all their problems will disappear after obtaining SR. Others do not confide in the therapist because they, sometimes correctly, expect to be denied SR, when they are open about their problems."
[Smith, YLS. Sex Reassignment: Predictors and Outcomes of Treatment for Transsexuals. Universiteit Utrecht, 2002. s. 23. URL: : http://igitur-archive.library.uu.nl/dissertations/2002-0808-103443/inhoud.htm]

Anne Lawrence, Ph. D. declares:
"postoperatively collected data may be more accurate in some ways than data collected preoperatively, because it is less likely to be distorted by selective reporting or deliberate dissimulation, which transsexuals sometimes believe are required in order to obtain surgery (Lawrence, 1997; Walworth, 1997)" [Lawrence, AA. Factors associated with satisfaction or regret following male-to-female sex reassignment surgery. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol 32, 2003. pp. 299–315.] (s. 312).

Johnsson and Wasserzug writes in a study:
"Cohen-Kettenis and Pfafflin noted that such individuals ''seek contact with medical professionals to have surgical or chemical castration only.'' What Cohen-Kettenis and Pfafflin did not emphasize was the difficulty that these men face given the available diagnoses in the DSM-IV. Many fit the GID-Not Otherwise Specified (GID-NOS) diagnosis in the DSM. However, it is our experience that an ''NOS'' GID is sufficiently vague that it is more of an obstacle than an aid in obtaining a referral for an orchiectomy in most parts of the Western world. In many places, it will not get them access to hormones either. This leaves the individuals two options: they can lie about the nature of their GID and claim that they are male-to-female (MtF) transsexuals in order to obtain hormones or an orchiectomy, or they can go outside of the established medical system for treatment." (30).

Jay Prosser writes in an antology of transsexuals:
"In effect, to be transsexual, the subject must be a skilled narrator of his or her own life. Tell the story persuasively, and you're likely to get your hormones and surgery" [Prosser, Jay. Scond Skins: The Body Narratives of Transsexuality, 1998.].

Judith Butler writes:
"one has to be gauged against measures of normalcy; and one has to pass the test. (...) The price of using the diagnosis to get what one wants is that one cannot use the language to say what one really thinks is true. One pays for one's freedom" [Butler, J. Undoing Gender, Routledge, New York and London, 2004. s. 91].

From a wikipedia-article:
"Legal needs such as a change of sex on legal documents, and medical needs, such as sex reassignment surgery, are usually impossible to obtain without a doctor and/or therapist's approval. Due to this, many transsexual people feel coerced into affirming pre-ordained symptoms of self-loathing, impotence, and sexual-preference, in order to overcome simple legal and medical hurdles. (Brown 107) Transsexual people who do not submit to this medical hierarchy typically face the option of remaining invisible, with limited legal options and, possibly, with identification documents incongruent with gender presentation."
[Sex reassignment therapy I: Wikipedia, 27. maj 2010. URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_reassignment_therapy]

Marissa Dainton was quoted in The Guardian:
"Dainton says patients encourage each other purposely to avoid discussing issues that might hold up their treatment. "Most people who go to psychiatrists with a view to changing gender have actually researched and know a lot of the things they should say - and some of the things they should stay clear of."
[Batty D. Mistaken identity. The Guardian, Saturday 31 July 2004. URL: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2004/jul/31/health.socialcare]



Tippe
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xAndrewx

Quote from: Fencesitter on November 09, 2010, 10:00:45 AM

I don't like the fact that he over-generalizes at our costs, don't think he is/was a very mature personality and doubt if he tells the truth about the details of his transition and detransition. However, it must have been very hard for him to find out that he had just messed with his body without any need, and that he had ended in a situation comparable to an FTM's situation before/without transition. And him being in the media? Maybe because he seeks attention, maybe because he wants to be able to at least tell his point of view so he has at least a bit of influence on what gets reported, maybe because it does not matter as he's out anyway. We don't know.

I wish him and his fiancée good luck, a great relationship, an accepting environment and all the best for their future and the kid(s), no matter how excentric Charles may be. We shouldn't be so mean to him. He's just a guy who made a big mistake in his life and tries his best to have a decent future in spite of that mistake. And I'm sure he already got enough sh*t thrown at his face in his life, for both transitioning and detransitioning.

Fencesitter, I greatly agree with a lot of your post. I just believe that his thoughts that no one should be able to transition due to his mistake is stupid and insensitive on his part. Maybe I read into it too much but from the article I got the impression that he believes that he messed up, so no one should ever be able to transition because they will be making a mistake. Which obviously we know is not true.

girl_ashley

Quote from: Janet Lynn on November 09, 2010, 01:16:16 PM
It very well is a fact that the successes outweighs the failures.  But the failures get the press.  And they are what our detrackers point too, not that Mary Louise went on to live a productive life.

My EXACT point from another thread.  Thank you.
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Fencesitter

Quote from: Michael Alexander on November 09, 2010, 02:53:35 PM
Fencesitter, I greatly agree with a lot of your post. I just believe that his thoughts that no one should be able to transition due to his mistake is stupid and insensitive on his part. Maybe I read into it too much but from the article I got the impression that he believes that he messed up, so no one should ever be able to transition because they will be making a mistake. Which obviously we know is not true.

Agree with you, that's exactly how I read it too. But I don't see a big problem here. Charles is entitled to have his own opinions, even if he tells bull->-bleeped-<-. I don't wish him any bad for that. Lots of people have lots of stupid opinions.

Moreover, he seems to have obvious problems with taking responsability, which might have the effect that his claims will not get taken for serious. As long as he doesn't use his money to force his convictions upon decision-makers, he will be less of a danger for us than any one of those "specialists" which we can really consider to be our enemies. Or than the press that supports his convictions and uses him as a pawn here.

I just ask for a little more respect for him as a human being than has been shown in this thread altogether. For some of the postings, I wonder, if people met him in real life, would they say this to his face? Even if they don't like him? We also ask for respect for our transitions.
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rejennyrated

Quote from: Tippe on November 09, 2010, 02:52:09 PM
I think these three posts highlights the problem with the gatekeeping system. It makes people lie! And when people lie they are not in a position to freely reflect upon their choices. That's very well documented as per the quotes attached to this post.
err no actually. Counseling would have probably made me lie. As it was I never told a lie, I just avoided the whole irrelevant counseling industry by finding someone who was prepared to believe what I said and let me take responsibility for my own decisions.

That's always been the way I do business. I am the captain of my ship and if anyone doesn't like it they can always get off and swim with my blessing!

I reflected very hard and freely but without the encumbrance of a counselor who would almost certainly have been less well educated, less intelligent and less flexible of mind than me, to hinder my thinking processes by telling me what I needed to thing say and do in order to get to where I wanted to go.

It may surprise you to hear this but I don't buy a lot of the bull that goes with current theoretical models. What I do know is that I mad a good decision and I have lived a happy life for nearly 30 years as a result, but as Sinatra would put it "I did it my way" and whats more I would unquestionably do so again.

I have seen nothing in the medical protocols and resultant outcomes for those who slavishly follow them to convince me that they are right and I was wrong.

My main point is this. We are all individuals and you can not practice text book medicine. A good doctor takes guidelines as starting points, and as mine swiftly did for me adapts them to the patient in front of them. A bad doctor, or someone of limited intelligence treats those guidelines as rules and allows no departure from the authorised method.

But with respect that is not medicine it is law!
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tatiana

What Tippe has pointed out is that the whole entire gatekeeping system is somewhat outdated & constricting on the choices of the transgendered individual.

I would have to agree with rejennyrated and others who say that the one size fits all method that we have does not work for everyone.

As for Kane, as many of us have already thought of him for many years now, he's just a fruit basket. If he wants to come out to the press, he should be like, "I made a mistake. Perhaps my stubbornness combined with wealth let me do what I wanted without really thinking about the consequences. As for my choices, I stand by them and I am who I am because I went through those events. I was immature not to resolve my psychological issues in a constructive way and to take the decisions of gender reassignment seriously enough."

As for the doctors, they know the system is broken at the moment. They're smart enough to understand that, but they're hesitant to make a move because of societal pressures and other factors. They probably don't want to be known as the next Harry Benjamin or the sort either.
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Jalene E.

Susan your comment is so true, becoming honest with yourself first is the most important thing that needs to happen. When your honest with yourself then you are honest with your therapist and doctors.
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K8

Quote from: Jalene E. on November 09, 2010, 05:08:46 PM
Susan your comment is so true, becoming honest with yourself first is the most important thing that needs to happen. When your honest with yourself then you are honest with your therapist and doctors.

I agree.

Ideally, the system is designed to help us find what we need.  There are many conditions that may present as needing GRS but, like with Kane, surgery will not be helpful.  The professionals are there to help us be honest with ourselves and honest with them.  A system that requires us to lie is broken and serves no one.

I went into therapy hoping to discover what I needed.  I knew what seemed like a good idea - transition - but also knew that I could be wrong.  I talked honestly about what I felt and thought.  My therapist agreed I needed GRS - in fact was convinced even before I was.  Perhaps I was just lucky in my therapist, but it is reassuring to me now to know that several trained professionals agreed that I need to live my life as a woman. 

If I had lied to them, had surgery, and then had problems, I would have no one to blame but myself.  I am sorry for any of you who are operating within a system that you think requires you to feign a scripted history.  You aren't getting the help you need but are fighting against unnecessary impediments.  The professionals are there to help us.  It is not in anyone's interest to either prevent those who need the cure of surgery from getting it or, alternatively, to allow those who need a different 'cure' to get surgery instead and then be doubly messed up (like Kane).

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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