Last night I sent my dad an email asking if he wanted to go for dinner just me and him because I needed to tell him something. I'm not too sure how it's gonna go but my dads a pretty understanding guy. I live on my own and i'm 21 so if he doesn't handle it well its not like I'm stuck being around him.  He's gonna be the first person I tell and I'm scared. tommorow my relationship with my dads gonna change forever and I hope its for the better. I just can't keep this to myself anymore.

Best of luck and wishes.
Coming out to family is a hard thing but in most cases it is not an option. It must be adressed.
Weather he is suportive or he is not we here at Susans would like to know and cheer you on or console you depending on the end result.
Keep your head up and state your case with authority and be pleasent when you get asked questions. Even if he fires off some snide mean statements and questions. Often even the suportive members of our families have a bad initial reaction to this news.

Hugz
Cynthia Lee

Erocse and I will be thinking of you and wishing for you the best. Erocse came out to our children and they were actually kind and supportive. We are lucky to have them. I hope that your dad, who'll be suprized in the end is kind and supportive as well.
**HUGS!**
Mrs. Erocse & Erocse.

thanks all for the support! it helps so much.
even if my dad is harsh I will not be able to get angry with him, I can understand how much of a shock it will be. I kind of feel like it doesn't matter to much what my dad will think because I'm the "black sheep" of the family. my dad divorced my mom and re married and had 2 boys and I've been a very small part of his life since then since he's been so busy.

I have seen both reactions.
My mom took it super well. (she even started to try and explain to me curent trans theory's and she was very informed already. Turns out one of moms ex girlfriends is MTF. Mom wouldnt say who.)
Sevans parents did not react well to hir transition. They kinda hit the ceiling. Anyways hir mom came around after a few months. Dad has not made any attempts to contact Sevan but he never did much in the past. I suspect his wife has him on a short enough leash to keep him cival.

well my dad has hinted a few times very cleverly that hes alright if im gay, but i never responded with anything that would lead him to believe anything so that means he is kind of understanding and that he has noticed there's something different about me. I doubt hes ever considered this though.

Quote from: jessica on November 14, 2010, 08:35:19 AMtommorow my relationship with my dads gonna change forever and I hope its for the better. I just can't keep this to myself anymore.

Jessica... first of all, welcome to Susan's!  You've definitely come to the right place - we're all family here.

And yes, when you tell him, your relationship with him will indeed change.  I will pray it's for the better, and you should definitely hope for that.  I came out to my children recently, and whereas I was terrified that they would reject me (they're 19, 24 and 27), in reality they were all very loving and supportive.  If you think it might help to read about, scroll down to the Blogs section and read the thread in my blog (Believe in the Rainbow) where I talk about coming out to my kids.  Anyway, welcome, and we'll all be praying for you.  Please do come back and let us know how it went.  We care!

My father hinted to me for years that it was ok I was gay. (which I am just in a more lesbian way lol)
I never did come out to him. He passed away quite a few years ago.
I think my dad would have fliped out and been a dick at first. Then a couple weeks later he would likely call me and we would meet up and smoke out, and all would be well.

thanks colleen, I've been lurking here for a while and this site is partially the reason why I have built up the courage to tell my dad and I definitely will let you know how it goes. I was thinking about giving this website to my dad too.

sorry to hear that cynthia (hey my mom has the same name)

I'm kinda glad my dad has hinted that before because I do like guys but I just couldn't picture myself long term with a guy while im in this body.

Quote from: cynthialee on November 14, 2010, 09:35:06 AMI think my dad would have fliped out and been a dick at first. Then a couple weeks later he would likely call me and we would meet up and smoke out, and all would be well.

That's a VERY good point, Jessica - don't necessarily take the initial reaction at face value, and expect that's the last of it.  Peoples' reactions initially may be one way, and then when they get over the initial shock, they have a different perspective.  So if he reacts badly at first, give him time, he may come around.  Even people who react well at first, though, can hit "rough patches", so the watch-word is patience and time.

yeah, I'm prepared for however long it will take for him to come to terms with it, be it overnight or if it takes years for him to come around I can understand and I'm prepared for it.

Good Luck!!! 

I found that my parents seemed to take it ok at first but a few days later they had a zillion concerns and questions.  Once I answered those questions, they chilled out a bit.

I think tommorow before I talk with my dad I'm going to go to a counselor and talk with them about what I'm going to say to my dad. I think it would help me get my thoughts together, god all ive been able to think about all day is tomorrow.

Good plan, Jessica.  Just remember - the first one is always the hardest.  It does get easier.  One thought, though... ONLY come out to someone if you are SURE you MUST - i.e. have a really good reason for doing so.  Don't just think you have to come out "just because you do."  Ex: I didn't come out to my kids until it was obvious to me that it was the best decision, no matter how it turned out.  I'm really glad I did.  However, make sure you are in the same position - you know it IS the best decision, in that particular case, no matter how it turns out.  Just a thought...

yes, im sure its the right decision... I can't go on keeping it a secret, out of everyone I know my dad is the only person I can bring myself to tell.  it would really help me to have my dads support on this and depending on how he reacts there's a chance we will become closer but i'm not getting my hopes up I just want him to know as he has seen my troubles through my life, ADD like symptoms, Depression, isolation..... all of it is caused by the frustration of my body not matching my mind. It's just too much for one person to live with inside.

Quote from: jessica on November 14, 2010, 08:10:26 PM
yes, im sure its the right decision... I can't go on keeping it a secret, out of everyone I know my dad is the only person I can bring myself to tell.

That's good, Jessica.  I don't doubt it.  Good luck tomorrow, I'll be praying for you.

We will be thinking of you tomorrow, Jessica! We wish you the best of luck!

Oh girl, hope it goes well!!!!!!!! Let us know

thanks all for the support, I just got back from dinner with my dad and it went really well! I had a really hard time getting it out, at first all I told him was that I need to see a therapist that specializes in gender issues, my dad then started asking questions about it. He could tell I was choking up and gave me the "look your my son and I'll love you no matter what" speech. then I told him what I got is called gender dysphoria and its been effecting me for a long time. He wasn't exactly sure what it meant and asked some more questions i began to feel really uncomfortable with some of the questions he was asking but I knew he was just curious but I told him that I wasn't comfortable talking about it too much right now and that it has taken me along time just to be able to admit to myself what I'm going through. He asked me if I don't feel like a guy and I just nodded. I told him he should look it up online, I'm gonna send him a couple sites. He said he was gonna get home and on the internet right after. God what a roller coaster of emotion and its only the tip of the ice berg so far, but it probably wouldn't have happened for a long time if it weren't for all of you I'm so glad there's a place like this im tearing up right now, THANK YOU ALL

congratulations on overcoming that hurdle! i've found coming out becomes easier with practice, so it makes sense that it was a little uncomfortable