So, uh, my mother said she wants to eventually take me to see a gynecologist.

I asked what they do and she explained it to me.

Basically, my reaction was, I said, "I'd rather cut off my own arm."

She kept repeating that I would get used to it after it's done a few times and the only thing I would say was, "I'd rather cut off my arm."

I mean, I really would rather chop off a limb than go to a gynecologist. I'm terrified of them. /I/ don't even pay much attention to my vagina; meaning, I don't want somebody feeling all up inside of it. No. That just isn't happening.

On another hand, if they find something wrong, it could cause me to get a hysterectomy, which would ultimately make my life so much more better. I could bind, wear boxers, and not bleed out of my genitalia. How great! =D Too bad that's not the case. =/

Also, I was going to tell my mother that I think my vagina is gross (when I simply just plain out don't like), but it came out as "I think vaginas are gross." She asked why, and I said, "They look weird." Now she thinks I'm her straight daughter again. DX DAMN IT. I NEED TO WATCH WHAT I SAY!

What I meant to say was, "I don't like my vagina. It looks wrong."
Secretly meaning: I should have a god damn penis.

Lately, I've been feeling, like, a physical withdrawal. I physically feel like something is missing down there. I feel incomplete, you know? It's really bad and it's all I've been able to focus on lately. ><

So, uh, anyway, gynecologists. What should I do?

I know that if I go, I'll start screaming and crying when they try to do something. Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING should be going up there.

Lol. You know what this reminds me of? The first time I tried shaving my pubic hair. It went something like, "Why does my penis look so weird?"
Honestly, I didn't even know what my downstairs looked like until I was about 12 or 13 because I didn't want to look and I didn't shave down there. I just kind of forgot what it looked like when I was younger. Pretty much when I found out what was down there... I opened it, freaked out, and ran out of the bathroom. Penises aren't supposed to open up like that, you know? XD It freaked me out. That, and I wanted to know why it was so small.
I didn't look down there when I was younger either. I think I just ignored the fact that there was nothing there.

Ah...those were horrible times, were they not? 

I just skimmed through this a realized it got a bit off topic. Oops. My bad. Sorry. 

Then don't go. The only person who can decide if your life is worth it is you.

Quote from: JohnR on November 18, 2010, 05:13:45 PM
Then don't go. The only person who can decide if your life is worth it is you.

My mom is going to make me. >> Eventually (meaning probably in the next year or so.) She says I'm female and I have to go.

Quote from: Devyn on November 18, 2010, 05:15:27 PM
My mom is going to make me. >> Eventually (meaning probably in the next year or so.) She says I'm female and I have to go.

If you're over 18, she can't make you.  You're a legal adult then.

Edit: I probably should've said more.  I feel like you.  It scares the crap out of me.  I've only been to get birth control, and I just sat down and talked with the doctor, and that's all.  From what I've heard, it's not actually that bad or anything.  Honestly, I think it depends if you're sexually active or not.  If you aren't, then don't go.  If you are, maybe consider it. 

Quote from: Devyn on November 18, 2010, 05:15:27 PM
My mom is going to make me. >> Eventually (meaning probably in the next year or so.) She says I'm female and I have to go.

You certainly have female body parts. I wouldn't recommend screaming and crying though, that is definitely a girl thing to do.

Going to the gynaecologist is one of the curses we have to put up with. Either that or don't bother and take the risk of either being perfectly healthy and ok or dying from something that could have been treated had it been picked up in time.

Your mother can't make you, unless she physically carries you in.

Quote from: JohnR on November 18, 2010, 05:20:10 PM
You certainly have female body parts. I wouldn't recommend screaming and crying though, that is definitely a girl thing to do.

Going to the gynaecologist is one of the curses we have to put up with. Either that or don't bother and take the risk of either being perfectly healthy and ok or dying from something that could have been treated had it been picked up in time.

Your mother can't make you, unless she physically carries you in.

I don't see how crying or screaming is a "girl thing" to do. Guys do both of those things.

Also, dude, I'm just trying to start a sort-of-casual conversation about gynecologists, awkward genitals, and guys who have to go to gynecologists. Not talk about how I might die from something I may or may not have. Just saying.

Quote from: Rain on November 18, 2010, 05:16:56 PM
If you're over 18, she can't make you.  You're a legal adult then.

Edit: I probably should've said more.  I feel like you.  It scares the crap out of me.  I've only been to get birth control, and I just sat down and talked with the doctor, and that's all.  From what I've heard, it's not actually that bad or anything.  Honestly, I think it depends if you're sexually active or not.  If you aren't, then don't go.  If you are, maybe consider it.

Well I'm not sexually active. So I don't have a reason to go. 8D Woot.

Quote from: Devyn on November 18, 2010, 05:26:09 PM
Well I'm not sexually active. So I don't have a reason to go. 8D Woot.

Well there ya go  Explain this to your mom.  But do be sure to see it from her point of view.  She's just looking after your health.  So if you do start feeling odd or something weird goes down, be sure to visit a obgyn asap.  You don't want anything nasty or life-threatening.

How old are you?

Just asking.  My daughter is 16 and hasn't had any internal exam yet, nor did her doctor suggest it.

And, FWIW, I did not ever visit a gyno until I was married, having sex (I was 28 before I had sex!), and contemplating having children.  (I never wanted anything 'in there' either!)

So no, you don't need to go have an internal exam 'just because'.  If you have to go to the appointment, leave your mother out of it (ie make her wait in the waiting room) and discuss your concerns privately with the doctor.


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on November 18, 2010, 05:32:53 PM
How old are you?

Just asking.  My daughter is 16 and hasn't had any internal exam yet, nor did her doctor suggest it.

And, FWIW, I did not ever visit a gyno until I was married, having sex (I was 28 before I had sex!), and contemplating having children.  (I never wanted anything 'in there' either!)

So no, you don't need to go have an internal exam 'just because'.  If you have to go to the appointment, leave your mother out of it (ie make her wait in the waiting room) and discuss your concerns privately with the doctor.


Jay

Ah. I always figured that, you know, female-bodied people had to go just because you're supposed to. If that sounded sarcastic, it really wasn't. XD

I'm with Devyn, I find the thought terrifying, awkward, and would be highly uncomfortable. I don't know what to tell you man. That's good news, I also didn't know if you hadn't had sex yet that you wouldn't have to go. I do know a lot of women who only go once every 2-3 years though so when you finally do have to maybe it won't have to be often

Quote from: Michael Alexander on November 18, 2010, 06:07:05 PM
I'm with Devyn, I find the thought terrifying, awkward, and would be highly uncomfortable. I don't know what to tell you man. That's good news, I also didn't know if you hadn't had sex yet that you wouldn't have to go. I do know a lot of women who only go once every 2-3 years though so when you finally do have to maybe it won't have to be often

Alright, that makes me feel better. Lol. I hate feeling like I'm the only one misinformed.

I only go every couple of years.  I think I've been a total of two times since I was 17 (I'm 21 now).  I went for birth control because my monthly "gift" was unbearable pain wise, which made me the devil incarnate for about 1.5 weeks every month.  That, and the gynecologist also does the breast exams while I'm there and I'd really rather have breast cancer caught early.  I also go because my mom has had some really bad issues with her uterus for most of her life and the issues can be genetic or passed from mother to daughter and I'd rather go to something that's uncomfortable for me than wind up dead or have my uterus fall out in pieces (like my mom's did to her).

Quote from: Devyn on November 18, 2010, 05:26:09 PM
Well I'm not sexually active. So I don't have a reason to go. 8D Woot.

You should still probably go when the time comes that you're supposed to go regularly. Other complications can happen that don't involve sexual activity.

I empathize, I used to be really scared and disgusted by the thought, but now it doesn't seem so bad. You still have the parts, and as long as you have them you have a responsibility to take care of yourself and make sure everything is OK, even if you plan on getting rid of it later. They usually tend to be sympathetic for even non-TG patients, so just let them know how you feel about it.

Quote from: Lachlann on November 18, 2010, 06:34:02 PM
You should still probably go when the time comes that you're supposed to go regularly. Other complications can happen that don't involve sexual activity.

I empathize, I used to be really scared and disgusted by the thought, but now it doesn't seem so bad. You still have the parts, and as long as you have them you have a responsibility to take care of yourself and make sure everything is OK, even if you plan on getting rid of it later. They usually tend to be sympathetic for even non-TG patients, so just let them know how you feel about it.

Oh. That slightly disappointed me, but I understand. Will do.

Quote from: Devyn on November 18, 2010, 05:15:27 PM
My mom is going to make me. >> Eventually (meaning probably in the next year or so.) She says I'm female and I have to go.

She can drag you to the office, but they can't force a physical exam on you; that would be sexual assault, big time.  If you do go, just tell the doctor that you do not consent to it.  Even if you're technically a minor, a doctor would not perform what can be a traumatic test even in the best cases on an unwilling patient, especially when there is absolutely no medical need for it.

Your mom just wants to keep you healthy, but if she thinks you need to see a gynecologist when you're neither sexually active nor experiencing symptoms of a problem meriting specialist attention (severe cramps, heavy bleeding, etc.), she's simply misinformed.  You might want to tell her that outside the U.S., gynecologists are reserved for really severe problems; routine sexual health testing is done by a general practitioner as needed, and based on what you've said, it's not needed.  If you have a regular doctor you trust, you might be able to get your mom to take you there instead, where you can explain your situation and get out of the unnecessary testing.  Good luck!

Quote from: Ilan Reshon on November 18, 2010, 08:10:52 PM
She can drag you to the office, but they can't force a physical exam on you; that would be sexual assault, big time.  If you do go, just tell the doctor that you do not consent to it.  Even if you're technically a minor, a doctor would not perform what can be a traumatic test even in the best cases on an unwilling patient, especially when there is absolutely no medical need for it.

Your mom just wants to keep you healthy, but if she thinks you need to see a gynecologist when you're neither sexually active nor experiencing symptoms of a problem meriting specialist attention (severe cramps, heavy bleeding, etc.), she's simply misinformed.  You might want to tell her that outside the U.S., gynecologists are reserved for really severe problems; routine sexual health testing is done by a general practitioner as needed, and based on what you've said, it's not needed.  If you have a regular doctor you trust, you might be able to get your mom to take you there instead, where you can explain your situation and get out of the unnecessary testing.  Good luck!

Very informative. Thanks. 

If you aren't having problems I don't see why you need to be examined. I'm 21 and never have been. I'm sexually active, but STD free. I have PCOS and the Dr I see just talks to me, she doesn't try to talk me into it. If your mom is that worried about it just tell her you were examined and your fine.

I caught your age before it was edited. What kind of mother wants a kid of that age to have an internal examination?

Quote from: JohnR on November 19, 2010, 03:57:00 AM
I caught your age before it was edited. What kind of mother wants a kid of that age to have an internal examination?

I would imagine it has to do with "see you're completely normal (physically female) so you can't possibly be trans".  Not nearly as harsh, but my mom was convinced I was bi-polar not trans.  I went to the therapist she chose and she was seriously disappointed to find out I was just depressed and as the therapist put it "who wouldn't be in that situation?"