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shower like a womane / man

Started by Ellen, February 02, 2006, 09:56:54 PM

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Ellen

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : AND A MAN !

* Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
way, cover up any exposed areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower
* Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country. * Wrap hair in super
absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo
sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
* Get in the shower.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Pee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Partially dry off.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
* Admire wiener size in mirror again.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and....woo
woo!!!


  •  

Elijah3291


* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo
sound.
HAHAHA

* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Pee.
* Partially dry off.

LOL I do all of these things!
  •  

Shang

XD  I cracked up.  Especially the bit with the sound because I can so see it.  But, according to the list, I do a nice mix of "woman" and "man" stuff in the shower. xD 
  •  

V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
  •  

Janet_Girl

I have done both ashamedly.  Or at least the male side is :icon_redface: .
  •  

rexgsd

XD OMG! i'm still dying laughing over this!
the best part is that it's so true! haha

p.s. how did they know what we do in there?! :o lol
☥fiat justitia ruat coelum☥

"Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. Its a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world." - The Kinks

  •  

Astarielle

Quote from: Janet Lynn on November 21, 2010, 10:58:11 PM
I have done both ashamedly.  Or at least the male side is :icon_redface: .
Why be ashamed of that? I do a lot of both sides too. Mostly blow my nose...well, actually, that's all of it.

What side is "Spend 20 minutes in there somehow?"  :D
  •  

deadkazi

I definitely got a laugh out of this, sad part is I do half of the things that are listed on the mens side. But hey what about us gay men? We shake our wieners at our boyfriend? LOL Thanks for the laughs.
  •  

Darner

Haha, this is hilarious :D I do everything on the male list and I kinda got a persecution complex reading this list, how the hell do they know all this? (But the shampoo mohawk is a must  ;D)

Btw, what are loofahs (?), pumice stones and and face/arm/leg cloths?
  •  

Astarielle

Quote from: Darner on December 01, 2010, 06:40:11 AM
Haha, this is hilarious :D I do everything on the male list and I kinda got a persecution complex reading this list, how the hell do they know all this? (But the shampoo mohawk is a must  ;D)

Btw, what are loofahs (?), pumice stones and and face/arm/leg cloths?

  • Loofah: A poofy thing used to wash your body
  • Pumice stone: A rough stone used on calluses to soften them
  • Face/Arm/Leg Cloths: just what it says on the tin

...I didn't even have to look any of those up O_o
  •