A few weeks back i wrote a little topic about my jealousy for my cousin. Well today i finally admitted to her that i was envious, and she was kinda taken back. She was very surprised and a bit upset at me which i guess is normal... I explained to her why it was i was jealous and she kinda laughed a bit. She then went on to tell me that i shouldnt feel that way, no one is perfect. Shockingly i found out from her that she has pretty low self esteem. She told me how she dislikes so many things about herself, including the fact that she has bipolar disorder, skin problems and just plain dislike for herself. This was so surprising to me, i know her so well but i guess for sometime we have drifted apart enough for me to not know these other things. It just showed me that i wasnt thinking too much when i was envious. Truthfully i still feel some jealousy but for the most part its just made me realize that we all have problems and imperfections. I feel bad for her though, she did suffer alot from bipolar disorder when we were younger and i believe its starting to rear its ugly head again. I wanna be there for her. She is the only one in the family that knows my secret and i believe she is the only one that would be supportive as the rest of my family is ignorant and religious. I told her how i felt when we shopped and stuff and she actually gave me some of her clothes. She gave me some tanktops, a scoop neck shirt, sweater, jewelry and nail polish. As she handed me the bag full of stuff, she told me "just be yourself". I was so happy, and i still feel happy and glad that i have her at least. I tried on the clothing and surprisingly me and her kinda wear the same size she a bit smaller and has breasts but it fit nicely. Overall its been nice and im so happy that i have her
