well, 2010 has proved to be some year, so far. In April my sister died after being diagnosed with. Brain tumour; my partner of 17 years is dIagnosed with cancer, and has to have. Hysterectomy; then at work on Friday, we find out that my mangers mother died in the night. She was found when my boss went to wake her, as she didn't response to the alarm clock.

I know now that it's time I was honest with myself and everyone I know of the fact that I am TG and need to stop pretending I'm something I'm not.

I'm not completely sure what my first step is to be, but I know I need to take it.

Hi Carol,

I can't recommend enough finding a therapist who specializes in gender issues to talk to. I did this as a first step when I got to a similar place you're at right now and it has helped me a ton. Coming out is one of those things that once it's out there it can't be taken back, so you really want to plan it like you would plan any other major life changing event. I haven't come out publicly yet, but my family knows and I think that because I took some time to find the right moment, and talked with a therapist about it that the whole coming out process went really well. So far I have had a couple close friends, and my family be 100% supportive and accepting of me. When I do go public I expect some won't take it well, but I hope to be in a place at that point where it won't matter.

As your first step I really strongly recommend seeing a gender therapist if you can. It's so helpful, especially if you are considering coming out. It's good to have that support system established behind you as you go forward.

I know the feeling you have, and I really wish you the best as you take your next steps.

Thank you for these words of advice and support.
I stay outside Glasgow, Scotland and know of a centre that specialises in advise for TGs. my first step will have to be giving them a call.

I'll let you now how I get on.

Sorry to hear about all the deaths which has occured this year. Death makes us realise how short our lives can be and it's often a cue for people to take drastic action in their lives. For us, it is not surprising it is to tackle our gender issues.

Your first step will probably be doing some research if you haven't already done so. Once you have done enough, you will probably want to see a gender therapist and confide in a very close friend you know very well about your situation; choose this wisely and only tell someone you know for certain who will not leave you for who you are, this person shall serve as someone you can turn to when you need some support in your initial stage. When you feel are ready you should be prepared to come out to familiy and friends. Local LGBT centres might also offer some counselling which you may find useful.

Eveyone will have their own schedule so just use the forum as a rough guide of what to do and tailor it to your own need.