I'm not telling anyone to be out and proud either.
What I am against is the suggestion that being a woman or a man requires you to make a point out of rejecting the trans label or more..
There's those that have told me that I "have to" get rid of every proof of my youth, every photo, every human tie, etc, etc, etc, and totally reject the trans label in every way, in order to live as a "real" man.
Sorry, but I'm already "living" as a "real" man, what with being a bloke of flesh and blood and being alive. I have to do a couple more things who will vastly improve the quality of my life, indeed make it worth living, but having friends and family who know of my past, having photos of my grade-school graduation and a couple old pieces of paper laying around does not make me less of a man.
Nor does the term "trans".
It's not about out v.s. stealth, it's about the "rejection" of trans, the suggestion that acknowledging the facts of our birth, even to each other, Heck! even to ourselves!, somehow makes us less "ourselves",... there's something intensely wrong about that to me.