My first post and really neverous but here I go...     

     Ok, for the longest time I have wondered about myself.
When I think back about my social life when I was in elementary school up to high school, I've always felt more comfortable being around and socializing with girls. Never really bothered me much, tho I think I got teased abit, but I was abit shy around other guys.
       Also in my dreams I never thought of myself as a guy in dreams, up until age of 16-17 I never really thought about it, then I thought is my personality that of a female. The way I act is mostly neutral, but a few of females I worked with said I seemed to think like a female. Which embarrassed me alot when they said it, but then over time I began to realize what they said was true. I don't really hate the way I was born, but I kind of dislike it. When I compair myself to other guys I do not feel like I am like them, but I do not exactly feel like I am female either. Sort of in the middle...
       My RL best friend does like to tease me abit and always refered to me as her brother and sister in one, because she felt she could talk to me about anything and we could go out and do anything. I like to play MMORPGs games and when I started my first game I started out as a male char, but never told anyone my true gender. In game, a few times I've been refered to as she or a girl playing on male char. So I went with it and someone i knew convinced me to make a female char so I did and went on as my normal online self. I've had a few in game BFs in game so I suppose I am attracted to both sexes atleast by personality anyways. I also had a few female friends that we grew to have a sister-sister relationship. I like playing as female characters in games to let my feminine side come out and have fun. I even told one girl I knew in game that I was a guy irl, and she had hardest time believing me...
Not sure if she really did believe I was a guy. Anyways I am happy with what male side I do have, and really happy with the female side I have too.
      Just sort of counfused about am I a androgyne, tho I have already choose to identify myself as one. Really hard to see what really defines us as male or female really. I want to figure out if I am, if I lean more on male or female side. Tho one of my sister's friends said I really didn't seem male to her, but I seemed feminine is some ways.

Hi Lunartiger, and welcome. This is a great place to learn more about yourself. Be sure to respond to the threads here and start some of your own. I find that the best way to learn more about myself is to just post; sometimes that's when some things come together for me.

I agree, it's hard sometimes to see what defines us as male or female. But don't go by me, I'm genderblind. (Notice the change from "gender myopic" folks; I figure if I have that hard a time seeing gender then I can reasonably call it genderblindness.) But being male or female or something else is something you know inside. Only you will know what identity feels right to you. Whatever that is, androgyne or anything else, we're here for you.

Welcome to Susan's.
I'm glad you found the site. I was very confused when I frist came here but the people and the infromation on this site helped me and I'm sure will help you.
If your look for friends and or information about gender issues this is the place.
Please read the site rules at:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html if you haven't already.
Then check out the Wiki, with ton of info on the gender topics. Oh and check out our chat and links section too. Have a great read.
Glad to meet you Lunartiger.
It would be good if you would post an introdution at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html
Jillieann and JR

It actually is a suprisingly good way to determine whether you have female traits or a female personality playing online games as a female character and no one believing you're a girl. Your references to that really reminded me of myself and my ventures with female characters online.

Welcome to Susans. Feel free to ask us any questions you can think of. We're here to help really!

Well I look foward to reading more posts and responses by you.

Marq and Mia

Hi lunartiger!
i've had some of those feelings and shared and display some of those traits!  I think that's why i had more "girl" friends than guy friends...
Hope you find some things about yourself in here and sahre as well.
Ricki

     Well, I already identify myself as androgyne because I really don't feel like either gender exactly tho I do seem to show more traits that are consided female than male from what people around me seem to notice, tho irl I have a neutral personality so I don't come off being gay or feminine. Just by my interests, how I think and interact socially with others does seem abit more feminine.

      That leaves me abit confused but today at work I had time to think more on it and I can't really understand what sets genders appart, what is considered to be things done by men and women is all stereotyped by society. Like guys like to watch sports and women cook and I could really go on...
But hey I was born a male, and I hate sports and don't see whats the big interest in it and I like baking. So I believe, if I can't really understand what makes male masculine and what makes females feminine... then I can't really say I am either.

      If anyone understood what I just said then you are very good, I just tend to type whats on my mind most of the time which often comes out in a jumble of things. I think I understand what I am because when I read post about other people, somethings I share, but somethings I don't share. Even tho I like being around girls and dreams that I have, I don't want to change my body. I find girl clothing interesting and cute, but for now I have no plans on dressing up in them even tho I wonder about it. I could go on about this...

Thanks for the warm welcome, and I'll be sure to post and start own threads if anything comes to mind, if I can get it out in a language everyone can understand.^^;;

So far your post does not indicate you find incompatibility with being male. In fact you sum it up in the sentences...

QuoteWhen I compair myself to other guys I do not feel like I am like them, but I do not exactly feel like I am female either. Sort of in the middle...

Quotealways refered to me as her brother and sister in one, because she felt she could talk to me about anything and we could go out and do anything.

And as for the answer to your question about

QuoteJust sort of counfused about am I a androgyne, tho I have already choose to identify myself as one. Really hard to see what really defines us as male or female really. I want to figure out if I am, if I lean more on male or female side. Tho one of my sister's friends said I really didn't seem male to her, but I seemed feminine is some ways.

That answer is what many coming here come to answer and find out also. Most of us wont jump to a conclusion after your first post. As Jillieann/JR said browsing the Wiki would be most beneficial for some basic info, though not sure how much androgyne stuff is in there.

Some things aren't as hard to imagine as male and female.

If I said "a person with a long dress and breasts, makeup, working in a hair salon, that likes reading cosmopolitan magazine, has a doll collection, talking about feelings with friends on a cell phone, and listening to Destiny's Child music." Certainly there is some males that might fit such a profile or part of one.  And even better are those that would look at such a person and still not know the gender of the person despite gender cues that might be otherwise.

      I'm not exactly sure what you mean Ken/Kendra...
It is somewhat hard to explain it, but I am ok with my body.
Just when I think of myself when I was younger and now I was very different from all other boys. Even now I still feel that way like I am not what I was born as, I remember my mom telling me sorry of how she had hardest time teaching me I was a boy when I was 2-3yrs old. End school or even now I have hard time talking with guys, because I don't feel like I am one of guys, because I don't really have much of interest in what most guys are into. Plus social anxiety doesn't help me much either.
      I do feel more comfortable around girls and girls seem to feel bit more comfortable around me than most other guys or so they told me anyways.
My sister always came to me for advice with alot of things that I think shouldn't be meant for guys ears. Even with few of girls I worked with they would talk to me about many things that I'm sure they wouldn't come to any other guy and ask, I gave my advice to what I thought or believed. Thats when my friend started teasing me about how I think like a girl.
      I like picking with computers, drawing, playing video games, action movies, interest in having a cool street racing looking car, and really attracted to girls(list could keep going), but it doesn't make me feel like a man. I also like baking things, eatting sweets, love anything that is cute like stuff animals cute(has quite a few in my room), kitties, puppies...etc. and watching cutesy girly anime...(List could go on for female things too.)  I even have fun playing video games and always playing as a female in game MMORPG or not. Enjoy being playing to be female in MMORPGs even with all that I don't really think of myself as female really because I really have no desire to dress up or change my body.
      I really don't see any problem with what I like, dislike, or have fear off is bad, it is who I am because I want to be, not because society dictates how I should be because of what I was born as or how I was raised to be.
This is pretty much how I feel about myself and what I believe. I like to thank my sister for being here to help me figure out myself. Even if I seem to be male or more female to people by how I act or think, it is just what they see because it is how they was raised to believe things. As my sister likes to say "Your eye and mind love to play tricks on you, what you see isn't always what it really appears to be." I've finally made decision on what I am after 7 long years of trying to figure it out, I am neither gender. I am happy with what I came to realize.

I can understand your confusion on some level.  Though I have been pretty clear about my gender identity for a very long time.  Despite it being a source of frustration, anxiety and depression. 

Except being comfortable with my body, I have never been comfortable being male in terms of sex (but I don't think I would be comfortable being female either, thus my own conundrum).

I know how it feels to feel essentially genderless.  The thing is though it cuts so deep and did when I was growing up.  I was emotionally fragile growing up.  The thing is when I hit puberty, instead of being attracted to women like most males, or being attracted to guys like gay men, I was focused on neither.  Instead it became clear to me I may be an androgyne or maybe even transgendered and became drawn to alternate gender expression.  Instead of my adolescense becoming focused on sexuality, it became focused on my complex issues of gender identity, which I am still dealing with.

I have explored the possibility of me being transsexual, and possibly transitioning.  However I have realized I do not like the extremes of masculinity or femininity, I am comfortable with neither one, becoming a female would cause me as many problems as being male, in fact may create more problems I cannot even forsee.  I explored being transgendered (in the narrow definition of the word, MtF, non-transexual, but hormones), even part time, but that was not right for me either.  What I am ultimately drawn to is the middle of androgyny, which luckily I did get to live (in terms of all around expression) for several years of my life and that was probably the best period of my life.  I could relate to the weird inbetween or neither more then I could being female or male.  I also know the closest I could possibly be to my own gender identity is being a male eunuch (i'm not, but in truth I wish it often), then being fully male (which I never liked) or being fully female (which I am have become equally uncomfortable with the possibility of).

I have a few friends who are androgynes who are comfortable with thier body, and secretly I am jealous of them. The thing is I am also the only asexual I know personally who has issues with gender identity.  I have rarely comfortable in my biological sex, despite being comfortable with my own gender identity.  This has been very difficult, especially in recent years where professional choices moved me away from my gender identity.  I realized I probably need therapy again because of this. 

With that being said my interests are varied.  I don't see anything as masculine or feminine.  I love the arts and I love too cook.  I love DIY craft fairs and I am an accomplished songwriter.  I have met many musicians, some which have become extremely famous or were very famous when I met them.  I love reading and learning, almost constantly.  I have a love of literature, philopsophy and history.  I love cinema.  I could go on, but that being said I can talk to anybody about almost anything and in a honest and sincere way.   My interests are so varied that it has lead to several good conversations with a variety of people. 

I was just trying to find where the confusion was. Sounds like you already know yourself. And have described yourself a androgyne pretty much. Is there anything else that you have experienced that leads you to believe you might be full female or male? Something that makes you wonder if you are all female?

Something like one of the transsexuals here at the site might be able to relate with, so that they could help out, if you might still be considering possibly being TS, otherwise you seem pretty androgynous from the above statements.

     I've been talking to my sister and her friend who is going thru the change to becoming a woman. They helped me figure out I'm not exactly more one or the other, if someone would describe my personality, they would say I seem to be more female, but other than that I don't feel like a female, nor do I feel like a male.
     Thanks Seldom, you seemed to understand my post and describe it perfectly, tho I am attracted to females more than males myself, and oddly I seem to get nervous around males. I am ok with my body as it is but I hate being labeled as male because I don't feel like I am nor do I want to be, nor do I wish to be a female.
    Point of my post was to share my thoughts of what I had been thinking of last few years before I learned of androgynous people, which I'm glad my sister met her friend online, or I would still be wondering of myself and maybe never discovered I wasn't weird. I wanted to see what other androgyne had went thru during the time before they identified themselves at androgynes so I could be sure and I guess feel more comfortable with my thoughts.~