Hey guys,
I'm considering coming out to my mother and i'd like to know how you guys would feel as comfortable as possible hearing that your 'daughter' wishes to go under hormone therapy to become a male?

Are you close to your Mom?
Does she think of you as a tomboy?
Will this be a complete shock or an extended revelation to what she already knows about you?
Each person's background varies. There are many, many, things to consider. Are they liberal or more conservative and old fashioned.
Do you have a troublesome background or a long steady one?

I am asking these questions not for you to reveal an answer to me. As a parent of 3 girls, I would consider all of these things if one of my children came to me. Or the answer to these questions will play into how I feel about the revelation and accepting it.

If this comes as a complete suprise it may make acceptance more difficult.

I am sorry if I am not as helpful at answering your question as I would like to be. I feel there are so many variables, that maybe asking yourself these questions will help you in your approach.
I know that this poses a difficult challenge for you. I wish you the best.

Sincerely,

with Hugs
Mrs Erocse

complete tomboy.
we are pretty damn close, i consider her a friend and a mother. I love her to death. i just dont know how to approach this to her in a way that will make her feel involved and that her feelings have been completely taken into consideration in this situation.

I think she will take it positively.
I just want to know, from a parents perspecitve, how i can approach this FOR her.

My only experience is with Erocse, my spouse coming to me and telling me. I have sincere love for Erocse and when she smiles it makes me smile. I imagine that would be the same for your mother then. You are close to your Mom that is good. When my children smile and feel good that is what I want for them. Sometimes it is not always on my terms that my children smile. If it is not hurting them and they feel better I am still happy.

Explain to your Mom that the feelings you have about transitioning and not being able to, makes you depressed and describe the struggle you are having. I read your other post about feeling suicidal.
I  KNOW I would be devastated to loose a child ever. I know your Mom would too. Your Mom wants you to be with her. She wants you to be happy. It may be hard.....Let her know you are having all of these thoughts so she knows up front that you do feel suicidal and stressed to these extents. This does make a difference in how a person approaches things. This is really important to both of you to talk about this.

Life is too good to let these thoughts take control of you. Never consider this course of action as a possibility. Talk to someone. There are great people here on Suzan's Informed and willing to listen.
Life is dificult for everyone and we know that. You matter to us all. You matter to your Mom  most.
Talk to her.
Love and Hugs
Mrs Erocse

Like Mrs. Erocse I only have experiance with my spouse coming out as trans.

Honestly I didnt handle it very well. I put on a false face and made the right platitudes but inside I was 10000% against hir doing anything that would change hir body.

I know I know that is very two faced of me. Good thing we have been in therapy and I am not like that anymore. (much)
Now I watch Sevans second puberty with anxious anticipation. Every new hair and muscle is exciting and confirmation that ze is doing somethong to deal with gender angst.

thanks a lot.
it's just hard feeling like im going to disappoint her again. I came out to her as gay when i was 15 and she took it hard. but loved me and accepted me.
I know she'll accept me again, i just didnt want to approach this in a way that would hurt her more than it had to.
i love her too much.

i hope my girlfriend comes around too.
she recently came out as 'lesbian'. and i LOVING expressing how gay she is. she seems to be more obessed with the scene than anything!
i just hope she'll be able to find a way to appreciate a second puberty. i love her in a way ive never felt for anyone. but i dont know she'll still want me once i'm 'male'.
then again, with her 'lesbian obession' i wonder if she's really gay.
*puzzled much*

From a personal parent viewpoint, Ask her to listen to your story without interruption and your last statement before going elsewhere should be on the order of, "please think on this before you say anything". Then walk away. I need time to process big changes and sort my thoughts before I am stating a decision I won't regret. It is a sudden shock and takes time to get used to. Somewhere in there leave a list of informative internet sites or pamphlets or a short book on what it is like for us.

Just my opinion but I have a daughter who is...unusual. She had her brother ask what I thought of people like her. That was both good and bad and I won't get into why atm.

i know its a long time after your post but i hope it went well.
my son came to me a few days ago to tell me he wants to be a girl and he was so scared i would disown him, i love him so much and all i want is his happiness in what ever body he wants
xxx

long time after, yes it is. But i am no closer to telling her.
i'm no good at emotional conversations.
i wish she'd just ask me lol. i'm sure it's pretty obvious to anyone who me.

When our son came out to us ... we already really knew...we had been questioning (not to him) for year.

It's still was a shock to hear him speak the words.  He was good about allowing us time to adjust - didn't get upset when we messed up on his name or pronouns.   I know one thing that was really hard for his mother was he had picked out his male name with his girlfriend.  She was hurt by the fact that she wasn't given some imput -- so I suggest if you have a male name you are going by you let her pick your middle name.  Give her time to adjust.  Also if you know of resources for her - pflag groups or transparents groups - let her know.  That shows her that you care about her emotions and her adjustment too.