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Is there any point continuing to push my RLE?

Started by Make_It_Good, December 06, 2010, 12:21:04 PM

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Make_It_Good

Hi,
I just wanted to get some other people's opinions here.
Ive been at my gender clinic in Nottingham for 2 years (I just realized its been two years and 2 days, thats flown and dragged by at the same time! :p) and Ive been on T for 15 months. I wont repeat the whole of my story here, but my clinic are telling me they want 2years RLE before surgery. (Especially lower surgery, they say, as Im being referred for chest surgery).

   It was since 2006 that I have been under professional care for "Gender Identity Disorder", I was made to see Adolescent mental health services (who referred me to the clinic). There, I told them to call me by my male name, and male pronouns.
While, unfortunately I wasnt able to go to school as male, because of my family, I lived as male in every aspect of my life that I could control,i.e going out with friends, and also, Ive been participating in part time voluntary work since I was 15/16, and this has always been as male, and stealth. So, for 4/5 years, I had atleast been living part time as male. I tried to start living as male in every area of my life as soon as I could. Yet, my clinic tell me THEY consider my RLE to start from the date I started T. This completely ignores the first few, struggling years of my transition in which I fought to get to this point Im at now. I feel that it is unfair they wont consider this, as I know of other ftms in England who just, one day decided to transition, and are miles ahead of me, when Id been fighting for so much longer  to begin my medical transition.
Ive been persisting to who I see at the clinic that, though it was outside of the clinic's authority, some of my time living part time, atleast, should count toward my RLE.  Id been living ful time before I started T,it doesnt seem fair they are only putting the start date from when they let me start hormone therapy.

Im not sure if I should keep pushing it, I know you may say, well your 2 years are almost done, so I might aswell wait, but I dont know, if they change their minds and agree with me, they may decide to refer me on for surgery sooner. Even just a month sooner would make the world of difference to me.

Also, do you think it is right of me to think my RLE should be considered as beginning  from earlier than what my clinic say?Or am I just being  too eager and impatient?


Thanks

(and excuse the essay length!)
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Rock_chick

had you changed your name, tax records, NI number and bits like that prior to starting T? if you have you should be able to use that as evidence that you've been living your RLE since before being on HRT. This is the reason why changing my name, tax records and other gubbins was the first thing i did, because i could wave the deed of name change about and point to a date, and as it's a legal document they can't really argue with it.

I hope you manage to get things sorted out though hun.
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Make_It_Good

Hey Helena,
Thanks for your reply :)
Yeah, thats my only problem there (so I wasnt sure if I had much of a leg to stand on, but it feels like I should! :p) because, I hadnt changed my name legally untill just before T (as my family wouldnt let me whilst living in the same house as them [but thats not supposed to make them sound harsh]). But I wasnt sure if itd help that all the voluntary work Id done was as male, with a male name, and since I still do this work, I could get the co-ordinators/bosses (whatever their title is) to put this in writing, also, the psychiatrist/counsellor people I saw when I was 16-18 called me everything male, so thatd be in the records.
Do you think this is enough...?

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Rock_chick

I think any testimonials you can get backing up your claim that you've been living as a male since way before T will help, though given the labyrinthian nature of the NHS it could all hinge on who who see and if they're in a good mood.

I've run into that already with my GP  >:(
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Nicky

I kind of think, another few months is not going to hurt at this point? I know it horrible waiting, and part of me thinks it would be nice to stick it to them. You have been living as yourself a lot longer than they have said you are, but I guess they want evidence of it.

But I feel like it is better just to wait them out, and make sure you have it in writing from them when your RLE started so they can't turn around and so no.

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Al James

I'd stick it out. Theres no certainty in this wonderful country of ours that if you moved to another clinic they would take your history into account either. My letter from Nottingham states that i have to live two years as a man starting on 09/11/10. My passport and driving licence were both changed to male in January 2010 and my life has been male in everything except name for as long as i can remember. If your almost there, hang on bite your tongue and get what you need out of the system. At least thats what i keep telling myself. Definition of RLE anyway? Does that mean that our lives up to this point haven't been real? Or even that in two years time when the RLE finishes that again our lives stop being real?
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lilacwoman

lots of UK ->-bleeped-<-s are getting passed for surgery in less than about a 12 months after first contact at gender clinics and there is no need to do RLE so I'd be inclined to get some input from a lawyer with medical experience or from one of the UK transactivists groups.
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