My life has been up in the air over the past year and I've been trying to figure out what I want to do. I was told we would be moving in the middle of the year and was thrilled. I'm depressed, angry, and bitter here because I hate the people in my city, I hate the weather, and I don't feel like I belong here.

My mom had to have major surgery a year ago though and is still having complications, her job covers all of that and pay is good so now she doesn't want to move for a couple years. She tells me that might change but when I told her if we weren't moving in a year I was going to go to college out of state she actually liked the idea. She says it'll build my responsibility and let me start over and then when I finish my degree we will just both move somewhere or stay in the state I go to college at.

Going away to college was never a choice for me in high school because I slacked off and got horrid grades. Now I've done almost a year of online college and my grades are good. I have a 3.0 gpa for the first time since 5th grade. So I'm considering this but I've never been away from my mom for longer than a couple weeks. I'd be going to a state where I know no one which scares me. I looked at some colleges in San Fran because I would love to live there for a while and this could be my chance. Plus I would feel a little safer there than anywhere else. My dad lives in Ohio though. I haven't had longer than a ten minute conversation with him on the phone in about 4 years but he took my coming out well. Maybe I should go there since I have family there. I could live on campus but he'd be there to help if I needed it....

My mom tonight when I said I know which dorm I would be in just said "the girls, isn't that obvious?" and I was dumbfounded. I explained to her that I'm only going to a state where I am considered legally male after being on hormones because surgery is waiting until I have cash.

Idk opinions and suggestions please? Sorry for the length of this.

Out of state tuition in most places makes state colleges very prohibitive for out of state students.

In state
Course fees are provided in the "class notes" after each subject listing in the Class Schedule. Fees may range from $4 to $500 depending on the course.


Out of state
Nonresidents and foreign students are required to pay out-of-state tuition in addition to the mandatory registration and course fees. Tuition is charged at $372 per unit. General authority of this fee may be found in the California Education Code, Section 89705. The total nonresident tuition paid per term will be determined by the number of units taken. Effective fall 2010 and until further amended, there is no academic year maximum for the amount of nonresident tuition. The annual cap of this fee has been eliminated.
or $1,000+ per class (as most are 3 units).  Standard load is 5 classes per semester, or over $13K a year.

Also, be aware, (if you're not already) that California runs two university systems, the California State Universities (San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Sonoma) or the University of California (Berkeley, UCLA).  Berkeley requires that you be in the top 1% of your HS class, and, at that, you are not guaranteed admission.  Also the above rates are for the Cal State University system, the University of California rates are much higher.

Thanks Tekla It definitely would have to be a California state university because I am nowhere near the top 1%. The out of state fees are what scare me because I literally have financial aid and that's it.

California schools are really set up for the brightest to start at the four year schools and the rest to go to community colleges the first two years.

When I lived there most kids started college at community colleges unless they were in the top ten percent.  The community colleges are excellent and have dorms and a helluva lot cheaper.

You may want to look at some of the ones that are not in the major cities, like Fresno, Stanislaus, Chico and the like.  It would be a lot cheaper to live in Fresno than SF.  Also, with 20 some different campuses all is not equal, some are much, much better in some programs that are all but non-existent at other campuses.


The problem with the CCs is that they are grossly underfunded and a lot of people have a hella hard time getting the classes they need.

I'll most likely be finishing my two year degree online then going to a four year college by the time I get accepted and can afford to get there so I'm looking for a four year.  I'll look up those other areas too thanks

I'm also looking into colleges outside of seattle, portland, columbus, Cleveland and random other big cities. I like that I have the time to look into the best ones for me. My only requirement of the school is that they are fair and treat me as male and that they have a social work degree program or a similar degree that I can use to get into the field of social work. 

Well, I know the University of Minnesota has a great program and reputation.  They also have a GLBT dorm.

Then the twin cities has a shot clinic ... so if your afraid to give yourself shots .. you go there and a nurse does it free.  It also has the lots and lots of trans support programs.  You also can qualify for state health care as a transperson which would cover the cost of T

Quote from: Michael Alexander on December 07, 2010, 08:13:22 PM
I'll most likely be finishing my two year degree online then going to a four year college by the time I get accepted and can afford to get there so I'm looking for a four year.  I'll look up those other areas too thanks

I'm also looking into colleges outside of seattle, portland, columbus, Cleveland and random other big cities. I like that I have the time to look into the best ones for me. My only requirement of the school is that they are fair and treat me as male and that they have a social work degree program or a similar degree that I can use to get into the field of social work.

The University of Southern Mississippi is good in that regards.  We also have a  very good social work degree program, at both main campuses.  It's also fairly cheap, even when it's out-of-state tuition.  And after leaving here a year, you can can qualify for MTAG which is a free $500 a semester to help pay for some of the tuition. 

There are also some decently affordable apartments on the Coast, or you can stay at the dorms in Hattiesburg.

Thanks for the advice guys

Rob: Minnesota sounds like an awesome place to go. I'll have to check out their school thanks Not having to worry about the cost of T would save me some cash. I wish this state had something like that.

Lukas: Mississippi was a place I really hadn't thought of. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll take a look  

they are fair

Most are beyond fair.  The part I hated about teaching college/uni level is I had to give the A to the A student no matter how much I disliked them and flunk the ones that flunked no matter how much I liked them.

Quote from: Michael Alexander on December 07, 2010, 08:38:46 PM
Thanks for the advice guys

Rob: Minnesota sounds like an awesome place to go. I'll have to check out their school thanks Not having to worry about the cost of T would save me some cash. I wish this state had something like that.

Lukas: Mississippi was a place I really hadn't thought of. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll take a look

  It's a place most people don't think of, but we have some really good colleges in the state.  I may not enjoy the state myself (primarily the weather and a bad high school experience), but I'll admit that colleges are good. 

Quote from: tekla on December 07, 2010, 08:42:46 PM
they are fair

Most are beyond fair.  The part I hated about teaching college/uni level is I had to give the A to the A student no matter how much I disliked them and flunk the ones that flunked no matter how much I liked them.

That's the part I pretty much like.  I don't like it when teachers pass students they like and flunk those they don't like.  That's not pretty fair to the student.

Yeah, real colleges really flunk students.

Quote from: tekla on December 07, 2010, 09:02:57 PM
Yeah, real colleges really flunk students.

>> They do here.  If you do bad, you don't get a good grade.  It's a requirement in all courses to get at least a "C" in the class to get credit for it to go towards your degree.  You can get "D"s and "F"s in the courses and teachers aren't shy about handing out those grades if you haven't put the effort forward in any sense.

If I go to college, if..., I'm for sure moving to California and taking a gap year off... and getting residency for college.

That's an if... because I really do not want too, but in a year time I should either make up my mind on my life.

Plus I truly need the residency just to afford it, and then I would like to go the University of California.