I'm so happy for you, Simone V ! Keep fighting (but not with your parents, they're too old, haha).

Hi Glena/Simone

In the first place, welcome to the forum, glad you've found us.

I've reading your posts with interest, it's quite a story.
I've also read the replies and you must be feeling at home I think.
This site has so many people who are  caring and supporting and with a lot of knowledge and expirience, feel free to take advantage from it.
I'm glad things finally works out well for you, exciting isn't it, starting a whole new life, the life you've always wanted to live.
now the time has come to be a happy person, and when you're feeling a bit down, you know where to find the keyboard to get some support.
In the mean time you can looking for clothes, observing other women, look how they talk, move, walk, using bodylanguage and so on.
and on you tube there are a lot of movies how to improve your voice sounding feminine.
I'll hope you can do something with this advice

It's good to have you here sister, I've been in ontario and quebec several times, I liked it there very much, nice people are living there.

love
annette

Trip to my GP, well that was a bust.  I got there and my normal Doctor had been called away to deliver a baby.  Wonderful news for some lucky mom, but kinda of hard for me to deal with the stand in doctor from the clinic.

I ended up just making an appointment for tomorrow. I really would rather talk to him since I've known him for 20 years or more.  Sorry to make you wait longer Jillieann. Other then that I went shopping, well more window shopping then actual buying.  Saw all sorts of things I would love to wear but know that I won't ever wear. Te-he, I fully agree with you Jillieann a lady should wear cloths appropriate to her age.

I have decided to let my nails start growing so I can shape them and I will be letting my hair grow also.
I think it's a start anyway.

annette, thank you so much for your kind words and interest in how I'm doing.  I hope to learn some about you as well as all the other girls.  After so many years of keeping myself inside and hidden I feel like I am on the verge of erupting with energy.  I hope the down wave is not to steep because the up wave has been really exciting.

Hugs all.  Simone.

Glena:

These are wonderful posts you have in this thread!  See?  Your mom knew anyway.  Isn't that amazing.  Your folks are quite elderly, so I don't think they'll hassle you much ... if at all.  Wasn't it great coming out to your mom?

Also, Colleen Ireland and Jillieann will be amazing friends to you.  They are very caring and knowledgeable and will help you a lot.  Susan's Place is your support group until you see a gender therapist and attend a live group.  Welcome, and good luck!

Simone,
Don't worry about me I can wait.
I do agree it is best to talk to your own GP.

Oh shopping is fun and window shopping is almost as much fun too.
And it cost allot less.
I love to go in the stores and try on different clothing. Even if I don't buy anything.

The of waves feelings will continue to go up and down as you go forward.
Even when I first started it felt so good and I was happier with myself than I have ever been.
I'm hoping you feel this way too, now that you have decided to not only admit but to embrace your real self.
The joy in your last posting is bubbling out and splashing on to me and I am so glad for you.
Go girl go.

Do let us know what happens tomorrow Simone.
Hugs
Jillieann

Thanks Lacey. And yes this is a great place for support and friendship.

Hi Gena,

I can relate to your story, and it is sad when the people closest to us force us to be someone that nature and God did not intend.  In order to be that person, we must rise up and be strong; strong enough to overcome the barriers placed before us by the ones that love.

First of all, I always thought that 40 anything was old, but here I am at 48 and I still feel like me.  Heck, I still love cartoons.  I am more experienced, have a few gray hairs, but I still can say "Gaga goo goo" with the best of them. ;-)

Yes, I can relate to those "Lost Years."  I keep complaining about that exact same thing.  You cannot get those years back, but you can go forward.

For me, I keep thinking about how I never went to my prom or got to wear a pretty dress or was asked out or anything that most girls take for granted.

By the way, I also loved to wear nail polish.  That is what helped me to finally to crack my fear.  i saw nail polish at a store one day and I just had to buy it.  The next thing that I knew was that I put it on, grew out my nails, and to hell with anyone else.  I was not putting on clear nail polish either, if you get my drift.  Everyone tried to explain that away, not the least of whom was me.  Thank God for nail polish.

Here is to the future!  Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I also loved to play with dolls.   My sister and I fought over who got to name the dolls that she got.  I was older, so I won quite a bit of the time, but she was a fierce opponent.  Never go up against a determined girl, who wants to name her doll.  You have to be quick on the draw. :-)

I doubt there is anyone, whom doesn't regret earlier intervention.... time/years wise....

If you do choose/seek to go down the whole way with yer flip to XX or XY....

I was 28 when i took real medical help....and focused on full intervention.

I'm 52 now.... and this year tweaking myself-up to be an uber-sassy-chick for my twilight years....as ageing 'masculinizes' even natural born CIS women...

(I guess at heart I'm a wee bit sensitive to my past false start still)...so need to feel more secure in my outta physicality..... and every little helps.... though I've been very lucky to date.

Sot equally, its never too late surely to get to a place of optimum mental health...?

And if this requires dealing with yer dyspohria head on....so be it.

There are many courageous souls on Susan's doing just that in fact.

My new appointment with my GP is for 3pm, I'm on pins and needles for this second try.

This morning at 6 am sharp my mom knocked on my apartment door. I made her coffee we talked a little she showed me how she shapes her fingernails.  We started talking cloths and she proceeded to head to my closet weeding out a good 80% of my cloths to be put aside for eventual donation to second hand store. Then agreed to goto Sears with me next week and help me select some tights as my first ladies clothing item. 

7am Dad walks into my apartment, sits at the table rattles his cane a little in his normal way of demanding attention and says.  "Don't I merit a cup of coffee?" I remember from my early child hood when that coffee was a cup of tea but something's now they only do tea in the afternoons and evenings.
Point here is. Dad is never awake before 9:30am these days. 

We had coffee talked about various things and I made them breakfast.  Then dad announced he wanted to accompany me to the GP, for moral support. I almost fell over.
And somehow I still feel like there is fall out that's just not happened yet.  Is this feeling normal?


Well onto other things.

Quote from: Cruelladeville on December 09, 2010, 07:05:38 AM
I'm 52 now.... and this year tweaking myself-up to be an uber-sassy-chick for my twilight years....as ageing 'masculinizes' even natural born CIS women...

(I guess at heart I'm a wee bit sensitive to my past false start still)...so need to feel more secure in my outta physicality..... and every little helps.... though I've been very lucky to date.

Sot equally, its never too late surely to get to a place of optimum mental health...?

And if this requires dealing with yer dysphoria head on....so be it.

There are many courageous souls on Susan's doing just that in fact.

I think you are all very brave and Pioneering.  You have paved the path for others like myself and I appreciate the knowledge you are sharing, Cruelladeville.  I love DALMATIANS though.  Te-he.

I am so happy you are all taking the time to read and partake in this ongoing conversation with me.  You are all so wonderful.

Hugs Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 09, 2010, 08:01:07 AM
This morning at 6 am sharp my mom knocked on my apartment door. I made her coffee we talked a little she showed me how she shapes her fingernails.  We started talking cloths and she proceeded to head to my closet weeding out a good 80% of my cloths to be put aside for eventual donation to second hand store. Then agreed to goto Sears with me next week and help me select some tights as my first ladies clothing item. 

dad announced he wanted to accompany me to the GP, for moral support. I almost fell over.
And somehow I still feel like there is fall out that's just not happened yet.  Is this feeling normal?

This is wonderful ! Seriously. It's not normal, it's awesome !

Quote from: Simone V on December 09, 2010, 08:01:07 AM
And somehow I still feel like there is fall out that's just not happened yet.  Is this feeling normal?

Perfectly.

And you will have loads more problems to face yet. They are called life and happen to everyone.

But for now, the biggest problem, getting started with the support of your mom and dad are sorted.

For the rest, you've got them, you've got us and you've got yourself.

  Dear friends and new family.

I got in to see GP today.  Oh gosh the nerves I had. My dad last minute pulled out saying he wasn't feeling well.  Understandable at his age.  But my mom came along for the ride to the Doctors office.
I went good and early hoping it would make the visit happen faster.

Well I got in early.  The Doctor came in asked me what's up, since I had booked the appointment saying it had to do with my existing condition of Chronic Depression. After taking a few breaths I told him all about it.  Basically every feeling and how it isn't recent and extends back to childhood.  He listened intently and then asked me a few questions nodding as if in understanding then Agreed to give me a referral to the CAMH saying he would write the letter and let me know the day he sends it. He warned me that if can take a few months to get an appointment with CAMH and I talked to him about getting a gender therapist , He said he would see if he could find one locally.  I also have the name of one that Colleen recommenced.

Step one "Come out to myself" (Done)
Step two "Find others like myself for support" (Done) thank you all!^^
Step three "Come out to my Parents" (Done)
Step four "See my GP and ask for help" (Done)

Keeping the checklist. Next!

Oh on another front.  When we got home my mom said.  Quote"Oh boy I have to teach you to walk all over again!" We both had a good laugh and then she said "I am serious you walk like a sailor!" 

Love and hugs all
Simone. 

This is great !

Your mom is so sweet !

Thanks A^^

Yes mom is sweet and dad grumpy. I think it's a regional thing for Wales even if they moved to Canada long ago. 
Must get dad a tea when he asks. Chicken is only served to him with out the bones, and my goodness don't get in front of the telli!
or there will be a veritable eruption!

Hugs all Simone.

PS at least I don't have to clip his toe nails.  Poor mum does!

OMG, Simone, I've been away from the forum for 2 days (couldn't be helped), and I feel like I've missed a million things!  That is SO wonderful!  And your mom is a hoot!  You are so lucky to have someone like her, to give you guidance and teach you stuff.  Here's a hint from me on shopping:  Value Village, Talize, etc. - they have some WONDERFUL stuff for really CHEAP.  Since you need to build your wardrobe from scratch, you may want to do it on a budget for the most part - this way you get a lot of bang for your buck.  You can still buy a few nice things from the regular stores, but from the thrift stores, you can really bulk up the wardrobe at a fraction of the cost.  And, just a suggestion, you might want to think about updating your profile to select the "right" gender - that's for displaying your preferred gender, not necessarily your physical one, lol...

Oh, girl, that checklist is gonna grow, don't you know...

Hi there

I'm so glad that you experienced a positive response from your parents, and I sure that it is good karma in return for your wondeful care you provide your parents.
I welcome you to our family and wish you all the very best in your journey.

lots of hugs
betty

"The world is a mirror, if you smile it will smile back" Famous greek guy whose name escapes me

Simone,
I don't know if you have a Goodwill Store near you but that is another good place to buy clothing.
They also have a online store at http://shopgoodwill.com/
That's what they do with the best stuff they get. 
Aw... Simone you mom almost made me cry.
She really wants to help.
As I said in a PM she so sweet.
I'm so happy for you. 
Have a great day.
Hugs
Jillieann

  Shopping not my normal everyday trip for jeans.

So today I decided to go shopping and when I said I was headed to penningtons my mother said. "I'm coming!!".
After lunch we set off we get there and my mom decided to take over and went to look for a sales assistant.  I pretty much decided to do it on my own.  But I let her for a bit. 

But when she asked the assistant for tights for me because of my legs needing support.  I took over, I figure that if I'm going to do this I may as well not lie about why I'm shopping at a ladies store. So I just said. Miss the truth of the matter is that I am Transsexual and I have GID, I am trying to get medical treatment that would prepare me for a Sex reassignment surgery. So I need to start learning to wear ladies cloths and want to start simple.

Well the sales associate didn't miss a beat and said oh well then lets get you started!
So after slipping around the store a little while I picked out some simple black tights, a set of leggings with rhinestones at the ankles and a long black blouse that goes almost to my knees. 

The sales lady then helped me get a penningtons discount card and gave me her business card saying that if I needed anything I should see her and she would help me with proper fashionable choices for someone of my size.

In the car after mom was quiet at first, I believe we hit a milestone with her today.  It really sunk in. But by the time we got home she was back to her smiles.  I went to try on my new cloths settling for the leggings and blouse because I feel the tights would be to hot. 

So as I sit here, I am dressed for the first time in the gender appropriate style for my heart.

Step one "Come out to myself" (Done)
Step two "Find others like myself for support" (Done) thank you all!^^
Step three "Come out to my Parents" (Done)
Step four "See my GP and ask for help" (Done)
Step five "Go shopping for my first outfit!" (Done)

So far all is well.

Hugs n loves Simone.

That took a lot of courage to do that, and that is age independent.  Congratulations and doing that in front of your mom took guts too.

You gave the technical details of the day, but you did not say how the outing felt.  Did it feel good to come clean with your mom and the shop assistant?  I presume that it did.

I remember when I first went to a store to shop for women's clothing.  I went to Macy's and had a personal shopper help me.  That was my first time and the shop assistant was read to make me look female but when I started to try on the clothes I was not ready.  I was not used to seeing myself with female clothing.  She tried to get me to buy a skirt saying that every woman needs one, but that was a bit too much for the first time, so I just stayed with slacks, female tops, and my first bra.

I can imagine the same type of things happening with you.

By the way, why did the shop assistant not try and fit you with a bra?  That was almost the very first thing that my shop assistant did after giving me a top and she saw me in it.

Congrats again. That was a big thing.

Te-he no, the sales attendant didn't push for a bra I think I was quiet red and she probably knew I had all I could take for first try.  She did tell me to see her when I needed more and she showed me a one part girdle but it was 102 dollars and with the holidays season here I decided not to get it and use the money for gifts.

As for how I felt. Giddy - Shy - liberated or more accurately I think a mix of all three of them. I did not enjoy cutting mom off but. I understand her reason for trying to make it seem as something else.  She is 85 and in her day, Men didn't buy such things openly.

I'm sure she had my best interests in mind, but I have to be me now    

@ Simone V:

This is a great story, and I'm very happy for you.  This took great courage for you to take your elderly mom with you on your first such excursion and to come clean with the shop girl.  Certainly, back in your mom's day, such a thing was unthinkable.  Fortunately, your mom has a mind of her own, is willing to think for herself and loves you enough to see how important this is to you. 

Many of you are so much more brave than me.  Many of you immediately enlisted the aid of the ladies working at the stores and/or boutiques where you shop.  Frankly, I selected my women's clothing articles myself mostly at J.C. Penney's at the mall.  The top I'm wearing in the avatar pic comes courtesy of The Gap with the necklace being from good old J.C. Penney's.  So far, I've only gotten ladies shorts, jeans and cropped pants and certainly no dresses and/or skirts.  Perish the thought, but that's just me.  Got conservative but stylish ladies sandals too as well as a few understated accessories.  The wig?  Got it online.  Yeah, I know I need a better one.  Someday. 

Simone V and Sarahla, I admire you two very much for coming clean as transsexuals to the shop girls.  THAT takes courage.  I've yet to do such a thing, although rumors about me surely abound at the mall where I walk almost daily.  You two are awesome for your courage and conviction.  Rock on, gals!  Simone, keep on truckin', honey!  Wait until you're on the hormones!        Lacey