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Did she think I was female?

Started by Melody Maia, December 12, 2010, 05:02:14 PM

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Melody Maia

So, walked into a Lane Bryant (women's clothing chain in US) today in boy mode to pay off the balance on a store credit card. The clerk asked me for the account phone number. I gave it to her and she said in a questioning manner (my wife's name)? I thought she was trying to confirm the account holder and not identify me so I said "That's my wife." She then said (my boy name)? I said yes. It then occurred to me that she might have said my wife's name first because she thought that might be me. My hair has gotten longer, my eyebrows are shaped, I was wearing my brand new pair of first ever girl jeans (not that obvious) I bought last night (yay for me!) and my jacket is in a bit of a femme color. The look is probably kind of androgynous, but I didn't think it would have been enough for someone to see female. Does it sound like to any of you she thought I might be female? My wife's name is not one of those you-can-name-a-girl-or-boy types. Or is it just wishful thinking?
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
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spacial

It sounds like one of those good moments Melody.

That's what counts.
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Melody Maia

Quote from: spacial on December 12, 2010, 05:38:02 PM
It sounds like one of those good moments Melody.

That's what counts.

Thanks Spacial. I have been misidentified on the phone and sometimes if someone hears my voice before looking up, but never on sight. If it really was this, it was a first for me and very special. I need to note this day down!
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
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V M

Sounds to me like they thought you were the Mrs.

Congrats  ;D
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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erocse

You Got Ma'amed Melody  !!

  But you better watch out getting ma'aned is addicting. Petty soon you will be buying the "very" obvious girl jeans. :)

  Way to go, GIRL !!! :)

  Hugs , Roxy
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Melody Maia

Quote from: Erocse on December 12, 2010, 07:39:04 PM
You Got Ma'amed Melody  !!

  But you better watch out getting ma'aned is addicting. Petty soon you will be buying the "very" obvious girl jeans. :)

  Way to go, GIRL !!! :)

  Hugs , Roxy

Thanks Roxy! I guess I wasn't expecting it because I am only a couple of months into HRT, have about 5 months of hair growth and was dressed like a boy. I have only been out en femme once and have been way too self-conscious to try more than that. My wife says I can pass now with the right clothes and makeup, but with my weight and self-esteem issues, I couldn't see it. Maybe she is right. Seems my transition is happening even if I don't try to pass as a girl.
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
  •  

Jillieann Rose

Melody, it really does sound like you passed.
QuoteI have only been out en femme once and have been way too self-conscious to try more than that.
That maybe that's the key when you don't try people accept you as the woman you are.
So just relax and be you.
You can do it.
Jillieann
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Melody Maia

Jillieann, good advice. I am just starting to figure out the woman I am and want to be, but it has been surprising how much is naturally there when I don't try to be particularly male or female.
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
  •  

AmySmiles

Sounds like a pass :)  It'll get more common as time moves on, but the first one is always the best.
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Melody Maia

Quote from: Kieri on December 12, 2010, 10:55:17 PM
Sounds like a pass :)  It'll get more common as time moves on, but the first one is always the best.

You know, the more I think about it tonight, the more I am a bit shaken by what happened. It was certainly a joyous and momentous thing for me, but it is more than a gentle reminder that my transition has its own timeline. I guess I thought I was in control of it. Dressed as a boy meant everyone would take me as a boy. I am not young (39) and though I have been told my features and voice aren't terribly masculine, I just assumed it would take much longer in my transition before this sort of thing would even start to happen to me. In my last session my therapist asked me if I was starting to get mam'ed yet, but I just thought she was being nice. Today was an eye opener. Sort of a "God said ha!" moment.

By mid-January, I will be pretty much free to do anything I want with my transition without the expectations of suburban life. I will be moving out of state and it appears that people who didn't know me as a male are much more apt to read me as female with the right presentation. I might need to reconsider my chances of passing while going out en femme and what might be a realistic timetable for going full-time.
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
  •  

Nero

Yes, or she read you as transwoman. Either way, she thought you were female. I think probably though she thought you were a cisfemale. I think just say 'yes' the next time.  :laugh:
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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pebbles

I think that was a.
"Urrr... I think that's a girl, Maybe" moment on her part. But your certainly on the right track congrats melody your now in our the equivilent of a gawky puberty, I name it "the swamps of androgyny" You'll get sick of it soon enough and you will be going "Augh come on, I'm a girl already!" soon enough :P I still get it myself from time to time if I'm looking grotty... Try it melody put a good bit of effort into looking girly you will pass no problem as your on the borderline now.

Unless you like looking andro of course ;)
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Melody Maia

I think you are exactly right pebbles. And no, I don't want to stay androgynous looking! I am definitely pretty gawky right now.

Love, love, love your new avatar!
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
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