My family aren't very accepting of the issue of my transition none of them really use my new name, And try to ignore the issue as best as they can pretending that nothing is happening.

However this year it appears to have gotten through to them alittle bit that I don't want, Tools, Football stuff WHICH I NEVER EVER EVEN PRETENDED TO LIKE! and aftershave.

thus instead they said they'd rather send me money.

Cool I thought.
Well I forgot they are morons, They've been mailing me checks in my old name

I will get a warning if I scream the profanities I want to. It's so goddamn dumb I CAN'T CASH THAT CAN I?

That's why I need to ask you guys that and I don't just dump this into the PMS forum, Is there any way of fixing this problem that you know of?

Tell them you can't cash/deposit them becuase that's not your name anymore.  Either they'll send new ones or they won't - either way you'll have your answer.

When I changed my name, I was sent a cheque in my old name. I took it to the bank which had managed my account under my old as well as my new name. They accepted it. That was a while ago, and in Scotland.

Someone suggested to my wife that she keep a bank account in her maiden name, after she married.

And it has to be said, even if again, this is a wind up.

I would imagine that if you took your legal name change information to your bank and the checks that they would cash them for you.  I am sure it happens more often than you think.

(assuming you are in the USA in a place with laws similar to where I live)

Yes, you'll be fine, as long as both names belonged to you at some point.  Endorse it for the name it was written out to (sign your old name).  Then, under that name, sign your new name.  Some people won't take a check like that because of risk of it being fraud, but your bank almost certainly will, particularly if you deposit it into your account there.  They probably won't ask why (my wife deposits checks made out to me, after I sign them, and they never ask why - I just sign them, then she signs under my name), but if they do, just tell them that both names belonged to you and you have changed your name - if you have legal proof of that that you can bring, all the better (you probably won't need to show it).  If they won't let you cash it, ask them what you should do.

The bank will likely have no problems if you deposit it (not cash it) because you've already shown them who they are - they know if it was fraud, it's a pretty stupid fraud because you're going to get caught.  So they won't worry about it, unless you think your family will charge you with fraud (if that's the case, I probably would just return the check saying you can't cash it).

It's no different than someone who changed their name when they got married.

Note that they may place a hold on the funds for a few days while it clears, perhaps longer than would be typical if the check was in one name.  So don't spend the money until you know they've released the funds to you (you can ask how long that will take when you deposit it - just ask, "When will the funds for this deposit be available?").  And all bets are off if you try to cash the check - they'll be a lot more careful if you try that, and be a lot less willing to take risks.

If you don't want to risk dealing face-to-face with someone who might not react well to your name changing from one gender to another, an alternative would be to drop it in the night deposit box after-hours with the check endorsed as I mentioned, in an envelope with a filled-out deposit slip.  They will call you and/or mail it back to you if they don't like it.

You also have my sympathy for dealing with a lousy family.  You might "suggest" to them that next time they just leave the "Payee" line blank and let you fill it in, since they don't seem to be able to remember your legal name.

Hi Pebbles

You have several options and of course they are:

• Take your name change document to the bank as Rob mentioned, but this would more than likely, humiliate you.
• Endorse the cheque to 'you'
• Return the cheques with a note saying I cannot cash this cheque as it is not in my legal name.

As much as the money would help you a lot, it does not solve the problem of them recognizing and addressing you correctly.  So send the cheques back,  because the above options only maintain the status quo and tell them in no uncertain terms that you will ignore them if they address you incorrectly, otherwise this will continue for a long time and that will not be good for you in the long run.

Yes, I know it sounds harsh, yes I know it is your family and you care for them in your own way, but, this has been going on for nearly a year (correct me if I'm wrong) and as you have said, things have not changed in that time.

As I have mentioned before, I told my family members, when I caught up with them later, after leaving all of them behind, that I would ignore them if they addressed me incorrectly.  I was prepared to lose them even though I loved and cared for them.

On a more positive note, your latest avatar picture shows a beautiful young lady that has achieved so much in the past year and I know you will achieve much more in the coming years.

I know you will find the right answer that is for you.  Take care and all the best for the future.

My kindest regards
Sarah B

Quote from: Sarah B on December 16, 2010, 03:07:58 PM

• Endorse the cheque to 'you'

That's such an elegant solution!  No witness needed, no embarrassment, no hassle!