This is really so depressing, but ever since i had my SRS with suporn about a year ago, my sex drive has taken a major plummet. Most of the time that is spent making love to my boyfriend is spent with me having other thoughts and not even thinking about the sex. i would make all the porn star moans and "dirty words" but internally i was thinking about doing the laundry or decorating the house for christmas.

Even being on hormones for the last 5 years..i was still up for masturbating at least once every 2 days, it was not THAT bad. But now even with the idea of an orgasm, masturbating as a girl really blows. Dont get me wrong, i LOVE my vagina but i kinda miss my penis and jerking it was a lot more fun than rubbing it for real. hell i have not flicked the bean for over a month?! even when my boyfriend wants to go down on me im like...this is very annoying. Sure i can take testosterone and revv up my sex drive but i do not want mannish features coming back lol.

anything that i can do??! i am 23 and and my vagina barely has any mileage on it!

Do you take any progesterone? It's known that P has a loose interaction with the Androgen receptor normally it's not strong enough to have masculinizing effects it's low level interaction is excellent for encouraging libido and it's observed that increasing P levels within females improves libido.

It's an effect I observe within myself when I take P :| somewhat to my frustration as I lack a boyfriend or girlfriend. Not massive but occasionally distracting.

I have heard of progesterone several times before, but no information on it. intteresting...thanks!

You've just had a major life change. It's going to take time to get use to it.

Give yourself some slack.

Agree totally with Pebbles.

I am over 25 years postop. I also have no measurable testosterone in my system but I have had a healthy libido thanks to taking Progesterone.

One important thing however is to make sure that you get given genuine micronized progesterone and not a progestin as the synthetic progestins often don't work as well and can have undesirable side effects.

In the UK it is sold as Utrogestan, in the USA it is Prometrium and in some places it is called Microgest. Either way that is what you need to get, and if my experience is typical it should sort you out.

Quote from: rejennyrated on December 17, 2010, 03:02:51 PM
Agree totally with Pebbles.

I am over 25 years postop. I also have no measurable testosterone in my system but I have had a healthy libido thanks to taking Progesterone.

One important thing however is to make sure that you get given genuine micronized progesterone and not a progestin as the synthetic progestins often don't work as well and can have undesirable side effects.

In the UK it is sold as Utrogestan, in the USA it is Prometrium and in some places it is called Microgest. Either way that is what you need to get, and if my experience is typical it should sort you out.

I just wanted to thank you for shedding some light on to this topic for me, it's like a brand new door of opportunity has just opened! I had no idea, i always thought that progesterone was simply for breast enhancement and i was just not interested in taking another pill for some cosmetic reason. But now that i am aware, i will be looking it up and possibly visiting my doctor soon to get more information for it. thanks again

Quote from: KillBelle on December 17, 2010, 03:47:53 PM
I just wanted to thank you for shedding some light on to this topic for me, it's like a brand new door of opportunity has just opened! I had no idea, i always thought that progesterone was simply for breast enhancement and i was just not interested in taking another pill for some cosmetic reason. But now that i am aware, i will be looking it up and possibly visiting my doctor soon to get more information for it. thanks again

As it happens I do have F cup breasts - all natural and no silicone involved.

HOWEVER it must be said that I took the progesterone primarily for its mental effects. It not only increases my libido, but it also act as a calming influence and lifts my mood. I think you have to bear in mind that not everyone will react the same way. Howvere in my life it was a definite plus.

Quote from: rejennyrated on December 17, 2010, 04:22:47 PM
As it happens I do have F cup breasts - all natural and no silicone involved.

HOWEVER it must be said that I took the progesterone primarily for its mental effects. It not only increases my libido, but it also act as a calming influence and lifts my mood. I think you have to bear in mind that not everyone will react the same way. Howvere in my life it was a definite plus.

This is true and everyone reacts differently. And like everyone you should read up on the effects before you take them I think it would help your libido but it has other effects for me the judgment was the following.
Pros:
+5 Reverses my potential Tuberous breast deformity.
+5 Fixes those terrifying leg cramps.
+2 Makes my tiny breasts grow bigger


Cons:
-3 Makes my hair shed alot.
-1 Makes me horny & easily flustered.
-2 Makes my hair oily
-3 Makes my gums bleed
-1 gives me minor stomach cramps

I wish I had a little of that problem! (Low libido)

With SRS in my early 20's I was awfully wild  A decade of marriage (my 30's) pretty much put an end to that. Being single and in my 40's was okay - no interest in sex - but something happened in my mid 50's and the libido came back with a vengeance .... not good when you are single!

I asked my endo about it a few years ago. Since I have almost no T or P I asked if it could be the E but she said it more likely had a lot to do with being in good health, feeling good about myself, and being in good shape. Wonderful! I am in great shape, horny as hell, and single! 

Quote from: Northern Jane on December 18, 2010, 11:01:07 AMWonderful! I am in great shape, horny as hell, and single! 

I'm SURE you can find a way to do something about that, luv.  Mid-50's is not dead.  Or even moribund.

You know, SO many women have trouble with their libido ! If you are dissatisfied with it, I am sure you will be able to find something with your physician. And as spacial has stated, progesterone IS supposed to help with this.

A little T is not going to masculinize you.  Most women run around 30 to 70 ng/pl testosterone.  I have read that a testosterone vaginal cream rubbed into the vagina has done wonders for post-menopausal women's sex drive.  Sometimes I think transwomen get so paranoid about their T levels that they want to rid every last drop of it from their body, when most healthy women actually have testosterone.

Well it's not that i am not horny, i am and i do get in the mood...it just isnt as much as i know i am capable of.


I think it is my state of mind, sometimes i feel like..omg i have a disease, i have a problem...whether or  not i want to admit it...i am a medical case. i've got issues; and i just want to be normal...but i cant be normal...nor will i ever be.
People look at me and without knowing about my trans status is like...what do you have to be complaining about? you are a trophy girl.  they cant understand, they dont know that girls like us struggle with loneliness...isolation, alienation, depression, lack of information...discrimination, when the saddest days are amplified tenfold compared to regular people...and our happiest days are simply lukewarm compared to other peoples. Sometimes i feel...like, look, you will have to dilate for the rest of your life, you will probably need medical attention all your life, youre going to have issues getting married, you cant have children, you can nver have a normal relationship, all your friends can never understand, you are going to deal with surgery issues, being outted, being caught, being read, being insecure, being a stupid woman in a stupid patriarchal world. All of this can sometimes happen in ONE DAY...ONE DAY. and it becomes way too much for someone to handle.

Not to mention sometimes my bf is so demanding and expects the house to be cleaned at all times, dinner on the table at 7, after dinner than football sunday is coming up so i have to make sure that "game food" is always readily available.  then after that i am exhausted and i worry about work and then all he wants to do is have sex and whine and get angry when i dont put it...when i DO put out  i am putting up a fake front and i dont even enjoy it. it sucks to be a trans woman but it sucks to be a woman in general.

ok fine sorry i am bitter...i went on a ranting tangent there =[

bf is so demanding and expects the house to be cleaned at all times, dinner on the table at 7

Your BF needs a maid, not a GF.

Pam.

I really hope you don't mind me saying this, but are you sure you haven't lost the love you once had for this guy?

I make a point of never interfering in personal relationships, but just possibly, it's time to move on.

Spacial, it is a push and pull factor. Because i think that a relationship should have the person who does the cleaning and the cooking, and the decorating, and the christmas preparations. And since i love all of those things it should be me anyway; as for him, he mows the lawn, changes the oil, takes care of all the physical stuff and on the side he brings me flowers when i am at work, brings me lunch, takes me out to romantic dinners still...i know he loves me but he just has this gender-based values and beliefs that drives me crazy.
Last night we were in bed and i told him i wasnt in the mood, and he got mad and told me he was going to take it anyway???
And i asked him why and he said that there are gender roles that i tend to deviate away from (AKA sometimes i wear his clothes and stuff my crotch, or sometimes i wear his cologne, or every halloween i dress up as a dude) and he doesnt believe in that, my "job" as the woman is to feed him and clean him and ultimately to satisfy him sexually. Whereas his job was to take care of me and give me security, and be the bread winner. Of course i understand the concept of this nuclear family style state of mind, but he doesnt know that i am not a traditional female...i was once a guy. and i know what it feels like to have the freedom of being male, so internally i am tormented by this conflict of power struggles.

It all comes down to the fact that, having the house, having the perfect boyfriend, having the perfect friends, having a great job, money, and all of that...you are still not happy...because you are trying way too hard to grow up so fast that you forget that you are still just a kid. its ridiculous. sometimes. maybe i should just accept it and stop thinking too much

Last night we were in bed and i told him i wasnt in the mood, and he got mad and told me he was going to take it anyway?

having the perfect boyfriend

We sure have two different definitions of perfect.

Quote from: tekla on December 18, 2010, 05:24:47 PM
Last night we were in bed and i told him i wasnt in the mood, and he got mad and told me he was going to take it anyway?

having the perfect boyfriend

We sure have two different definitions of perfect.

its hypothetically, and yes most men objectify woman. it wasnt much of a surprise

My $.02, I would tend to side with the others that have said maybe the loss of libido has more to do with the demands of your relationship with your boyfriend.  I can't speak from post-op experience, but he's been your only experience.  Maybe it not you, its him.

If its any consolation, I've heard plenty of women say some of the same things - about he's all into it and you're thinking about doing the laundry.

Well I would just like to point out that it IS possible to have a woman's body AND the so called male freedoms. Lots of us do manage it, (and I am not talking just people who have transitioned and had SRS) and anyway in practice those "male" freedoms can be just as constricting.

Not everyone these days lives in a family that operates on traditional gender roles and models. I have to provide for my family, I have voluntarily taken on that responsibility, and it becomes very stressful when things go wrong and I am not able to deliver.

My point is that maybe you need to look at what you want from life. If you want to play the "traditional" woman then do so - but if not then don't. Neither is wrong. Nobody is going to force you, nobody is going to take away your identity if you choose to be a "modern" woman instead.

And as for the assertions about needing ongoing medical care - I needed one little adjustment after over 25 years. The rest of the time I have needed no ongoing care beyond taking a "pill" which most women do anyway - so where is the difference?

I also work from the stance that an intimate relationship is based on mutual trust and shared beliefs, so all my partners have always known that I was intersex/trans. But that does not make our relationship any less valid. Yes I dilate once a week as a precaution - but because my partners have all known we have been able to incorporate it into our love life.

I think the whole scenario you describe is one reason why I personally would never get into a relationship with anyone who cant handle the full truth. I simply would be repulsed by their attitude and I could not live with being that untrue to myself. Besides there are plenty of good broadminded men and women in the world - quite enough to leave the dinosaur brains to their on naive little cozy delusions.