My family thinks I'm sinning...yeah..

They are embracing my transition and accepting.
(although they still foul up on pronouns and names on occasion)

my mom and dad are for the most part accepting, my brother on the other hand refuses to call me by preferred name "until (I) get (my) penis removed".

>.< (I'm countering by ignoring him when he uses male name)

My family are pestering me, to make sure I come home for the Christmas holidays.  This has been the case for the last 18 odd years,  So basically they have accepted me for who I am right from the outset and I have had no trouble with them in how they address me.

So, acceptance runs the gauntlet of total out right rejection to total acceptance.  But then again I would be surprised if that was not the case.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Not brilliant.

My dad is more accepting as of late when I see him next I'm gonna see if I can get him to name me by my preferred name and pronouns when he comes back he's had 3 months to mull it over. If he's still interested in getting to know me I can open up and drop the issue in then.
Mother... Still not good. I only just got back for the holidays and things are already tense.

I pointed out to her if she was planning on giving me money she ought to use my new name on checks simply because it makes my life tricky if you use the wrong account name, I thought she was gonna hit me -.- she did this *zoned* out sort of rage thing that pepole do before they go bezerk at you like I'd insulted and shoved her before coming back and with an angry dismissive tone responded with "Well I suppose I could do that. Why would I be giving you money?" And I responded with "well I don't know if you've gotten me any gifts this year but encase you decided to go down that route."

"Is there any particular gift you want?" she asked.
Part of me inside me screamed "I don't want anything else but for you to just acknowledge me!" but all I could answer was "nothing." as I saw how she reacted even to common sense proposals asking that would be a one step to an explosive row on the first day I've gotten back I asked her (Even though I've already brought her gift) and got back "Even if there was something I wouldn't tell you." v.v *sigh* I envy those with accepting mothers.

With my sister... Its okay I suppose she's irked me recently because I got in went to my old room and most of my makeup was used. where I'd used like 1/5 of my foundation now 3/4 was gone. Gragh! and I know she uses my old name and pronouns in private Although she is actually trying to use my new name in-front of me.

Most of my family have been informed but ignore the whole issue and just carry on using my old name I think they are operating on an assumption that I'm just confused and will snap out of it.

My kids have nominally accepted me, i.e. I came out to each of them individually, and each one said words like "No matter what, you're still our dad", and "We'll always love you, no matter what..." but with the exception of the middle one (24), they seem to want to completely ignore it.  The 24-year-old has been acting as go-between or ambassador between me and the others (and their mom).  My wife is not doing well with it.  She seems increasingly to accept the inevitability, but she definitely isn't supportive.

My parents and siblings...?  Oh, gawd, not even remotely ready to go THERE yet...

I'm lucky mom and dad excepted it fairly well. Dad is still a little odd about it but he's doing well over all. Mind you today was the first time he saw me fully made up with cosmetics on.  He's seen me dressed but not all made up before.  He staggered.
Mom is way nice and excepting.  My oldest sister has fully excepted things.  The younger sister is not as excepting. For some reason I guess this somehow makes her feel insecure.

I don't really care what friends think. If they like me truly they will except if not.  Fluff them, because they couldn't have been real friends if they can't except me as I wish to be.

Hugs Simone

My mom's in total denial.  Total.  Complete.  Denial. 

I'm only out to my mom so far.  She said she was cool with it, but I'm fairly sure she doesn't know there's anything else to it, except that I "feel like a boy."   My fault mostly for not explaining it better... 

I honestly don't know how my brother has taken it. I contacted him after cutting him off for twenty years. He lives in another state now, so we haven't seen each other. We are Facebook friends. I comment on his page sometimes, but he never comments on mine (except once or twice in the very beginning, quite some time ago).

When I told him, he said he was okay with it, but he completely ignores me. I guess he is busy with work.

My parents and other relatives are out of the picture.

I think my parents are still in denial about it to some extent (despite the fact that I told them years ago, and I've just started T). They refuse to talk about it; I haven't really tried forcing it or demanding that they use the correct name/pronouns because it's so difficult to have a conversation at all. My two younger sisters are both supportive, and I have several other supportive relatives. Beyond that, I'm not sure what other relatives even know I'm trans...it gets mentioned now and then but I don't see them more than once a year, if that. After Christmas I'm probably going to email a lot of them about it, since by next Christmas I'll be significantly different.

One of my sister and a few of my cousins know that I am trans, nobody else in my family does. One of my cousins is an absolute sweetheart, and doesn't seem to see anything unusual or awkward about it. Just once politely asked if I wanted to be called "he" or "she" and apologizes when she messes up the pronouns. My sister and other cousin avoid pronouns to keep from offending anyone and to keep from outing me.

Quote from: jmaxley on December 18, 2010, 09:27:19 PM
My mom's in total denial.  Total.  Complete.  Denial.

I feel you on this...my parents are in denial also. My mom insists it's just a phase and my dad refuses to even talk about it.

I've been transitioning for 3 years. I started hormones one month ago. My family has had a really rough fall/winter so I'm hoping to tell them after the holidays. I want to give 'em a good Christmas. My brothers and sisters act as if they know, and I have been REALLY obvious about it. I've had mail sent to the house with my male name. My facebook has my male name. All of my e-mail addresses have my male name. When I leave the house everybody (minus the family) calls me by my male name. My brothers and sisters were joking around about how my oldest brother "finally has a brother he likes" and when I said something about bad spirits coming in and killing off the first born son I named my younger brother and they all said "nope, you'd be the one that's gone."

My youngest brother is taking it fine. He jokes "if you could physically get anything attached to your body, what would you get? Besides a penis." My close friend who is a lot like a sister has been doing great. She has two kids, one that knew me for a few years before I came out. She's maybe 7 years old. Trying to figure out when to tell her. The youngest is almost 2 years and the last time I called them the baby said "hi (insert male name here)" but she stumbled trying to say my name. It made my day.

Awful. My mother would put me in a mental institution if she could and my father has threatened to do me grevious bodily harm.

Quote from: CaitJ on December 19, 2010, 12:04:09 AM
Awful. My mother would put me in a mental institution if she could and my father has threatened to do me grevious bodily harm.

That's horrible! I'm sorry to hear about that.

*hugs*

It's kind of a crazy point in life around my family right now because my two older brothers are now married and doing the kids thing, they are both quite narrow minded and not that bright so they struggle with it. One has disowned me and the other just avoids. I assume they could view it as protecting their kids but they have always been fine with me and them speaking for their children seems off.. but that's their call not mine. The wife of the one that avoids is actually quite cool and open minded so she is ok with me but I rarely see her now. Six grandchildren all up!
My parents accept me but are not exactly proud of it, they're dealing with it though and I think getting better (not sure right now). They appear to do it out of love more than understanding which is still great but I still deal with weirdness at times. My dad knows someone transitioning at his workplace and said she doesn't pass well and that he thinks I'm pretty, this along with a few other comments makes me wonder if they'd be so cool if I didn't pass as well? My mum seemingly expects me to be the daughter she never had and thinks she can influence the person I can come too much.. I think she'll get over that as soon as I can afford to be more independent and prove I am my own person and that money is the only thing stopping me expressing that (clothes, hair, presentation beyond androgyny etc). The lack of understanding also creates issues with emotional support.. she doesn't know what to say or do when I have issues and problems. It sounds like an excuse but I can't be sure. I've since stopped talking with her about my issues.
Over all things are pretty good (other than being broke, eating ->-bleeped-<-ty food and not going out) I feel positive about most things right now and where they're headed. I can't wait to start working again, I just hope that comes easy :/

Quote from: Alex201 on December 19, 2010, 12:10:20 AM

That's horrible! I'm sorry to hear about that.

*hugs*

It's just sad - that the words "I'm changing gender" can instantly turn proud, loving parents into monsters.

Dad - Denial, thinks I'm a bit nutty and making a huge mistake.

Mom - just shrugged and took a "whatever you think best" attitude

Brother - Haven't spoken to him or had any other contact since months before i came out (13 months ago) publicly, and neither of his kids will give me his phone number or address (he mover in the months before I came out). His kids will speak to me if they must but there's no illusion they agree or accept.

Cousins - most of those I've directly spoken to have been quite supportive

kids - accepting, though unhappy abut the conflict with my wife - possibly the younger is professing more acceptance than he feels but he SAYS he's ok with it, i know the older one is.

Wife - fervently despises my transition. Her intolerance, combined with her natural mourning for the man she lost, combined with her pre-existing mental issues creates a situation which is on occasion (not all the time, though it's always below the surface if the wrong trigger sets it off) very very hostile. there's a fairly strong possibility we'll separate before spring.

It's hard to say, I haven't had any real contact with my parents for the last 6 months and my siblings for nearly a year. They probably think i've lost it slightly but are too polite to say anything. Christmas this year will either be great or a living hell.