Quote from: Epigania on December 17, 2010, 09:24:57 PM
That's ... odd.

I have to say I've never heard of a guy proactively buying a pregnancy test.

You have now 

really?

i have heard of a few guys buying pregnancy tests, it scares the poop out of most guys so i expect they want to know. also i would not be reading anything into it, if he thought you are trans a pregnancy test seems a vague way of going about it instead of making a comment directly

btw i not long had my Suporn vagina too 2.5 weeks ago, had to have a small revision but it looks even better and well Dr Suporn is just amazing, like his results..lots of smiley in pain but happy faces here in Chonburi

Back in the day, I had several girlfriend think they had gotten pregnant and I was the one who went out to buy the test.  But I would NEVER had went out and just randomly bought one.

It could be that he suspects something because you don't have symptoms of a period?  (No PMS, no uhm ... sanitary issues, etc?)  How long have you been with this guy?

Ive been with him for a little over a year now, we live together and share a house together. He doesnt know i am trans, hes the type where, if he knew..he would definitely have brought it up. i dont really have any red flags that would make him assume i am anything but a genetic female. he even found out about me posting on susans and it never struck him odd as to why his girlfriend is chatting on a transgendered website. He just thinks i find the concept fascinating as i tend to have a very curious nature about unconventional things.
I know him, and if he knew i was trans i would be sure that he would treat me rather differently. Even if he is accepting, it would be odd for him.

Quote from: KillBelle on December 19, 2010, 02:59:46 PM
Ive been with him for a little over a year now, we live together and share a house together. He doesnt know i am trans, hes the type where, if he knew..he would definitely have brought it up. i dont really have any red flags that would make him assume i am anything but a genetic female. he even found out about me posting on susans and it never struck him odd as to why his girlfriend is chatting on a transgendered website. He just thinks i find the concept fascinating as i tend to have a very curious nature about unconventional things.
I know him, and if he knew i was trans i would be sure that he would treat me rather differently. Even if he is accepting, it would be odd for him.

Usually its parents that live and die by "plausible denialibility".

Someone else asked it, but how is it that he's not the least bit suspicious that you don't menstruate, or that for as often as you've had sex you're not pregnant?  How long before he reads one of your posts on Susan's and your past comes out?

As long as its not slapping him in the face and he can find the least reason to deny it, he probably will.  But are you ready for him to find out not from you becuase its only a matter of time before he does...

the real question is if you have sex everyday like you said he should be aware that you are not menstruating.

so I don't see why he would be buying a pregnancy test.

unless he assumes that you aren't because you are pregnant...but still...

Quote from: regan on December 19, 2010, 03:12:09 PM
Usually its parents that live and die by "plausible denialibility".

Someone else asked it, but how is it that he's not the least bit suspicious that you don't menstruate, or that for as often as you've had sex you're not pregnant?  How long before he reads one of your posts on Susan's and your past comes out?

As long as its not slapping him in the face and he can find the least reason to deny it, he probably will.  But are you ready for him to find out not from you becuase its only a matter of time before he does...

I hate to say it, but he really is THAT clueless. He assumes that all transgendered women are kind of like the way they advertise on TV...usually really rough looking men in their 50s wearing little girls clothes and hooker makeup. It's ignorant i know but that is what he thinks when he thinks of "trannies". He assumes i menstruate because when we first met i was just a month post op so we couldnt have sex anyway, i would always tell him that i was on my period and in a lot of ways...i kinda was...you had to wear pads down there in order to prevent bleeding. Also, he is absolutely crazy about me, with his preconceived notions about transpeople...he wouldnt assume that his pretty gf might be trans (a 22 year old girl with no physical signs of maleness might be trans?!?! no way!!). Also, i dont really care about whether or not he finds out, i get my premarin in the mail and he knows i take some type of supplements every night before bed. I dont purposely hide myself from him anymore, but the pregnancy test was because he kept asking me if my period was due yet...i said no. then 3 weeks later...are u on ure period yet babe? NO. then he starts panicking and is like...baby you need to get that pregnancy test because we need to know if you are pregnant...and hed freak out about it.


THEEEN last night i was like...dude im not pregnant, trust me i am NOT pregnant. and hes still freaking out like this morning he keeps asking me if i am on my period yet or if it started because hes worried that i am pregnant. i felt bad but yeah i told him i got my period so hed leave me a lone about it. I have some guilt about not telling him yet, but i dont find it necessary. weve talked about marriage recently and i made up my mind that if one day we do choose to get married...i would tell him.

I thought you said your boyfriend was involved with GLAAD? Surely he would know what trans women are actually like, rather than perpetuating stereotypes.
Either he's really, really not very bright or something isn't adding up here.
I remember chatting to a stealth Asian girl who told me her husband didn't know. Her husband later confided in me that he did know, but chose not to bring it up, since she was obviously more comfortable with the idea of him being unaware.
My fiance knows; apart from the fact that I was pre-op when we met, he wants children, so adoption needed to be discussed once things got serious.

Quote from: CaitJ on December 19, 2010, 03:59:42 PM
I thought you said your boyfriend was involved with GLAAD? Surely he would know what trans women are actually like, rather than perpetuating stereotypes.
Either he's really, really not very bright or something isn't adding up here.
I remember chatting to a stealth Asian girl who told me her husband didn't know. Her husband later confided in me that he did know, but chose not to bring it up, since she was obviously more comfortable with the idea of him being unaware.
My fiance knows; apart from the fact that I was pre-op when we met, he wants children, so adoption needed to be discussed once things got serious.

wow ok it's nice that u can assume that hes not very bright, u must know everything about other ppl's relationships right? we may have done things for glaad but that doesnt mean all the girls we come across as TG is going to be passable or even close to 100% passable.  Like i said i dont care if he knows or not, but I have been in a relationship with him for over a year, i personally know this man better than his own parents. If he knows he would be straight up with it, hes straight up with everything i do and voices his opinion in a much harsher way sometimes than i would like...but that is who he is.

BTW  if he does know and he doesnt want to tell me, thats great, then that means hes already accepted it because he still treats me the same and hes still absolutely crazy about me.

Quote from: KillBelle on December 19, 2010, 04:39:08 PM
wow ok it's nice that u can assume that hes not very bright, u must know everything about other ppl's relationships right?

That was only one option. The other is that something isn't adding up quite right. I think the later option is more likely.
Also, if you were only a month post-op when you met, what did you do about dilation? That would be pretty difficult to hide.

KillBelle, try not to take any offense to CaitJ's post, sometimes she's a bit more direct than what people are used to.  I think it's a charming quality, personally.

Communication is key in relationships.  Without communication and honesty at its foundation, it's difficult to build a stable relationship.   

You mentioned in another thread about your physical relationship and the stress you to through as a Transgendered Woman.   Perhaps you should think about talking to him sooner than before a proposal.   Just a thought.   If he proposes to you and you respond with "Yes, but we should talk about something first ..." that will just confuse and hurt him more.  Not because of your history, but because you've not been honest with him sooner.   

That's just my 2 cents.  Sorry if it's not what you want to hear. 

Quote from: Epigania on December 19, 2010, 06:15:30 PM
KillBelle, try not to take any offense to CaitJ's post, sometimes she's a bit more direct than what people are used to.  I think it's a charming quality, personally.

Yeah, my bad. It's a New Zealander thing - we tend to be super blunt and up-front about everything. I forget I'm dealing with other nationalities sometimes.

Quote from: Epigania on December 19, 2010, 06:15:30 PM
KillBelle, try not to take any offense to CaitJ's post, sometimes she's a bit more direct than what people are used to.  I think it's a charming quality, personally.

Communication is key in relationships.  Without communication and honesty at its foundation, it's difficult to build a stable relationship.   

You mentioned in another thread about your physical relationship and the stress you to through as a Transgendered Woman.   Perhaps you should think about talking to him sooner than before a proposal.   Just a thought.   If he proposes to you and you respond with "Yes, but we should talk about something first ..." that will just confuse and hurt him more.  Not because of your history, but because you've not been honest with him sooner.   

That's just my 2 cents.  Sorry if it's not what you want to hear.

I won't comment on what Cait said, i can handle the truth just not straight up insults. so instead i will say that yes you are right, living trans is very difficult when you are in a relationship and the stress that comes with "hiding" yourself all the time is just way too much. I dont know how some women go stealth all their life without their husbands knowing about it, and upon thinking of it...telling a guy before he marries you might not always be the greatest idea. So i made up my mind to tell him tomorrow or at least one of these days when hes got a day off of work.

Hi Belle

that's a good thing to do, honesty is everything in a relation, it will set you free, no hiding, no excuses for periods and so on, and you said he loves you so there will be no change in his feelings except that now  he can trust you even more.
After all, you're a beautifull young woman with a bit of bad luck born in the wrong gender and he felt in love with that woman.
There is no need to go stealth for your bf.
Your whole life you where playing a role, being the man that you didn't have been, so don't change it into an other role.
you're just wonderfull the way you are and your past is a part of you, there is nothing we can do about that, nobody can change the past.
So, we are Tgirls but we can be proud because we did what we had to do to forfull our dreams and there are a lot of people who had great plans and dreams and they have done nothing with it, we are different and steadfast, isn't it?

good luck telling him

love
annette

i personally know this man better than his own parents. If he knows he would be straight up with it, hes straight up with everything i do and voices his opinion in a much harsher way sometimes than i would like...but that is who he is.

BTW  if he does know and he doesnt want to tell me, thats great, then that means hes already accepted it because he still treats me the same and hes still absolutely crazy about me.
[/quote]    By the way all of these post are public

Quote from: annette on December 20, 2010, 05:59:32 AM
Hi Belle

that's a good thing to do, honesty is everything in a relation, it will set you free, no hiding, no excuses for periods and so on, and you said he loves you so there will be no change in his feelings except that now  he can trust you even more.
After all, you're a beautifull young woman with a bit of bad luck born in the wrong gender and he felt in love with that woman.
There is no need to go stealth for your bf.
Your whole life you where playing a role, being the man that you didn't have been, so don't change it into an other role.
you're just wonderfull the way you are and your past is a part of you, there is nothing we can do about that, nobody can change the past.
So, we are Tgirls but we can be proud because we did what we had to do to forfull our dreams and there are a lot of people who had great plans and dreams and they have done nothing with it, we are different and steadfast, isn't it?

good luck telling him

love
annette

Thank you Annette, and yes i did tell him last night. Ugh, it was the hardest thing i had to do. It was worse because we were taking a bath together at the end of the night and i told him...right when he was shampooing my hair, lol. I couldnt hold it in anymore and i just said "baby im a ->-bleeped-<-". I can immediately feel the shampoo bottle drop right behind me into the water and i was like...omg ok here it comes.
He was like...WHAT?!...youre a what?! For the first 10 minutes he thought i was telling him i wanted to become a man. Then i was like...no no no...i used to be a guy. Then there was silence for 15 minutes...he didnt want to touch me, and i had to get off his lap. so i just sat on the other side of the tub staring at him...and hes trying to stare right through me and then just got up and said he needed to be alone...and grabbed a towel..WRAPPED it arond himself (yes hes never done that before)...and walked into the office. He sat there brooding until 3 in the morning, he was SUPPPPER angry that i didnt tell him before, and i was like...well if i told u i was a ->-bleeped-<- when we first met would u have wanted anything to do with me? no i did not think so. But now u got to know me for who i am, and what i am about, and you realize that i am more than just gender. blah blah blah...it went on until 7 in the morning. I tried to tell him that ive been hinting at it for all these months...the shows, the documentaries on trans life/gay marriage, the website, transamerica, the gay parade...etc. all this time he just thought i wanted to take hormones and become a man.

He ended up not going to work today and now hes out for a drive. SO now i guess we will know how he feels and what he thinks about screwing a ->-bleeped-<- all these months. Before he left though i made a slight joke and he laughed at that...so a good sign?

I think he's taking it well under the circumstances.  Don't push him but ne there for him.  You have to remember you just changed his entire paradigm of your relationship. Is say you should try to help him understand why you waited so long.  That might help.

Quote from: KillBelle on December 20, 2010, 03:30:15 PM
i just said "baby im a ->-bleeped-<-".

Ugh. Most certainly not the choice of words I'd use. That word is so loaded.
Sorry to hear that it didn't go as you hoped/planned. If he turns out to be a transphobe, better to know now that after he puts a ring on that finger.

yeah...it doesnt look too good. he came home, packed his stuff...and said hes going to be away for a while. well...there goes my hope of having a normal family life =\

Quote from: KillBelle on December 20, 2010, 05:33:59 PM
well...there goes my hope of having a normal family life =\

You're 23. Men are a dime a dozen. 'Normal' is an illusion.

P.S. Your new avatar picture looks very different to the last one.