Okay, so I just got off the phone and wanted to share this with you.. During the past months I've been avoiding phonecalls with strangers like the plague. I honestly don't know how I managed to avoid them, but I did. I was affraid of being read as male, which I'm not. Today I just had to make a phone call, so I did. While I was on hold, I was trying to decide if I would be using my male voice (and get depressed) or my female voice (and would probable get depressed too because it would most likely fail). I actually thought that I had a choice in which voice to use... By the time my call was finally answered I was almost having a panic attack because of too much thinking and worrying.. I started to speak, still not sure which voice would come out, and then found out that I was only able to use my female voice. I honestly think that I wouldn't have been able to use my male voice if I wanted to. It's like that voice is sort of gone.
Now I may or may not have sounded rediculous, but one way or another it 'worked'. I have no idea if the guy on the phone interpreted me as female or male, but by using my female voice it felt like I was being loyal to myself. That made me feel good and didn't leave me depressed at all as I initially thought it would. The guy on the phone needed my address so that he could send me some form, and I am very curious if the enveloppe will mention a gender... When he asked for my name and address I deliberately did not give him my first name, I just said - R. Last Name -

Should the enveloppe say Mr., well, then I know I have work to do, lol. At this point I'm just happy that the voice I am using now is at least not my male voice as I always knew it.
Now that it seems like I don't have a choice in the matter anymore, about which voice to use, I guess it is time to find out if I sound rediculous using my female voice or not. I'm not sure yet how I can find out about that. Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't think it's a good idea to ask family and friends about their opinion, because their interpretation of me seems to be totally different from what most strangers see (and hear?) anyway.