I am down in the dumps again. Besides being pissed off at the world right now my parents have found the knife in my room and have taken it away... They also blocked this forrum on my computer....so I am stuck having to use this damn iPod touch in order to post on susans. Today has not been a good day for me. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm complaining.. . I have been crying on and off all day. I needed to get this out.

If you are over 18, you might want to start looking at moving out.

That sucks, though I can't say I'm sorry they took the knife away.

Quote from: Forum Admin on December 23, 2010, 09:14:06 PM
That sucks, though I can't say I'm sorry they took the knife away.

Agreed. Sorry man but I just hate when people hurt themselves. Sorry they blocked the site Is the computer yours and in your room? If so maybe you can find a way to unblock it. I hope things start getting better for you. 

Yeah I echo the moving out idea if it's a possibility. I moved out at 18 and it helped a lot. It showed I could be independent not just in living but making my own decisions. After that they backed right off. They seem to have that, you are our child under our roof we have the last say on everything! kinda view. It's like a virus so space may be a really positive option. *hugs*.

If you are over 18 they can not stop you from reaching us on your computer.  They are using parental controls and you are of age.  You might try a restore from a previous date before they put on the controls.

I left home when I was 16 because of similar situations.  They blocked my from using the internet and the telephone.  Also, they threatened to home school me so I wouldn't be able to be "negatively influenced" by the public school system.  Where I live in Canada it is legal to leave home at 16.

Although it was dramatic, I don't regret leaving home EVER.  In fact, my relationship with my parents has improved greatly.  Sometimes the best leverage you have with your parents is your presence in their lives.

Quote from: SnailPace on December 23, 2010, 10:53:54 PM
Sometimes the best leverage you have with your parents is your presence in their lives.

Thank goodness for that.  I'm doing the first part of my transition in stealth, as it were.  My family doesn't know yet that I'm transitioning.  When I finally come out I'm hoping to be able to change their judgments of transsexuals, if for no other reason than I know they can't afford to lose me.  But if they decide to judge, I will be walking out of the house.

I'm a no-nonsense kind of gal.

If moving out isn't an option, would it be possible to join a club, take up a sport, get a job, etc?  It sounds like anything that gets you away from your parents more would be helpful.  As snail said, sometimes a little distance can really help.

I also wanted to add my two cents on the cutting.  I did the same thing while trying to deal with things a few years ago.  Yes, it does make things feel better for a bit, but it took me a while to realize how badly I was scarring.  I didn't care about the marks then, but now that I'm trying to transition, it bothers me a lot that there are a number of men's styles I cannot wear due to my need to hide the marks.  Cutting is psychologically addictive, but trust me, it's well worth it to break the habit as quickly as possible.  (Sorry if I come across as preachy!)

I've got to second getting away from home as soon as possible.  If you can't right now, try to fly under the radar as much as possible and don't talk to the parental units about being trans.  And I know how tough it can be to stop the cutting, I've done it in the past too.  Please at least try to cut somewhere away from dangerous areas and take care of the cuts, keep them washed, use antibiotic ointment.  I ended up getting an infection from cutting and had to have surgery done.

Will say, as a former cutter, glad they took the knife, cutting doesn't do any good in the long run, it's a temporary escape that leaves marks that just aren't worth it in the long run. However, on the flip side, they took away the knife while also blocking you from a healthy outlet and your support, thank goodness you have the Ipod touch to access the forms. Your could try to do a system restore and see if that'll undo the site block, worse case would be a full restore, but you'd have to be sure to backup everything you don't want to lose from your harddrive, that will without a doubt undo that site block. it'll also wipe your harddrive clean and to factory settings, which is why you'd want to backup everything to disk beforehand. Then you can go into the parental controls and set them yourself with a password they don't know so they can't change them again. This is of course assuming it is your personal computer (EI: you paid for it or a gift thus putting it into your ownership). However, I do echo what others have said as well.

You're 18 according to your profile, moving out at that age can be scary, I did it at 17 myself so I know, but as scary as it is, it also gives you full freedom to live as you feel you need to live, with no one else being able to tell you "Well you can't wear this, you need to look like this, you can'ts access this." It's hard to live on your own at first, I won't even try to lie there, it is hard, but it is worth it for that freedom. Maybe you could talk to friends about possibly being roommates, that helps cut the costs a lot, if you're still in school then that can be a bit hard, but a part time job can help alleviate some of that strain, any legal income will help, it can be done, it'll take effort, it'll take falling and getting back up a few times, but it can be done, there's numerous people who have done it that prove it is not impossible. I suppose it's a question of how far you are willing to push, and how much you are willing to withstand for your happiness, it is doable, and it is worth it.

Cutting doesn't do you any good, long-term...but I do think you ought to think about moving out if they're not trans-accepting, or at least trans-tolerant.

Can you look into free LGBT counseling in your area? Probably only in a major metropolitan area, true, but if you are in a big city...hey...