Okay, so Chrissy is mostly over for me now, the family has gone out to dinner and I'm home resting for work tomorrow, my huge issue though is that my nephew is staying with us for the night.

I've been out to the whole family for a year now, and his mother obviously told him that my name was changed. He's eight and smart enought to understand to call me something different, but the first thing he said when he walked through the door was 'Aunty(insert horendous female name here), why did you change your name? And you look so different!'

Oh my god, it was like a stab to the gut! My name has been changed for almost half a year now! I can't say anything to him, because he's a rebellious little prick and will just argue with me, since he doesn't take me seriously as an adult. His mother should have dealt with this! Or hell, my mother, his grandmother, should have! But instead it's been going on all day, and will continue when he gets home tonight I'm sure.

I just can't stand it! I'm already feeling bad enough as it is after the worlds most disappointing therapy session ever, and the aunty this, aunty that, coupled with my old name is just making me feel worse and worse.

Have any of you guys had to deal with this sort of thing? I need coping tips, and fast.

Mrrr......

Take the bull by the horns and go for it. So your family let you down and you had a lousy therapy session. Dealing with it by drinking tea and calming yourself down isn't going to make your problems go away, nor will pushing your family away make them accept you more.

Go play lego's or something with your cousin and have a heart-to-heart with him. He's eight, and you're a big part of his life and maybe he's too immature right now to understand what transitioning is like. Try to talk to him on his maturity level and from his perspective. Get him to understand that by calling you "uncle" instead of "aunty" makes you really happy.

I'm sorry you're having a lousy time of it man, but it's not going to get better over night The best way to deal with situations like this is have a lot of communication going with all parties, and respecting and working to understand all the opinions.

It's christmas and it's family time. Make the best of it man, even if they're not. Do the Jesus thing and love your enemis, even if for the only reason that it'll drive them nuts that they're not getting to you.

That sucks, surviving the holidays can be hard. I would just say something like... Why did I change my name? Because I like this one better. Call me ______.

Quote from: SidESlicker on December 25, 2010, 01:20:37 AM
Mrrr......

Take the bull by the horns and go for it. So your family let you down and you had a lousy therapy session. Dealing with it by drinking tea and calming yourself down isn't going to make your problems go away, nor will pushing your family away make them accept you more.

Go play lego's or something with your cousin and have a heart-to-heart with him. He's eight, and you're a big part of his life and maybe he's too immature right now to understand what transitioning is like. Try to talk to him on his maturity level and from his perspective. Get him to understand that by calling you "uncle" instead of "aunty" makes you really happy.

I'm sorry you're having a lousy time of it man, but it's not going to get better over night The best way to deal with situations like this is have a lot of communication going with all parties, and respecting and working to understand all the opinions.

It's christmas and it's family time. Make the best of it man, even if they're not. Do the Jesus thing and love your enemis, even if for the only reason that it'll drive them nuts that they're not getting to you.

This is the best thing I have ever heard!

QuoteThat sucks, surviving the holidays can be hard. I would just say something like... Why did I change my name? Because I like this one better. Call me ______.

Yeah, I know where you're coming from and it sucks. It really really sucks. But while that logic might work with running into an old classmate on a bus, that's not going to work on an eight year old kid. Talk to him, see where his head is at and give him enough information about how you feel for him to not be confused anymore, which really, that might be all he is.

And lols man, glad I can entertain.

My problem is actually the nephews attitude. Plus the fact that he lives in another city means I only see him once or twice a year, and I don't think his mother would appreciate me telling him all about trans issues; she hates me enough as it is. And like I said, appart from that there's the boy himself.

He acts more like a twelve year old than an eight, and he's crazy smart. He's also the school bully and was removed and home-schooled because of these issues; he's not going to calmly listen to anything I have to say. More likely he will shoot me down, insult me or argue about how it's not possible to be trans because he knows something like that doesn't exist (he's a know it all little sh!t, even when he doesn't know it all).

Mrrrrr....

Well, his opinion of your gender is not a reflection of it, so take comfort of that.

And I'm sorry to hear about your family situation, that really does suck the gonads. It's hard to make a connection with kids when parents refuse to help or would be unappreciative. But hey, at least you only get to see the bugger once or twice a year, and as he gets older, so do you. There will come a time when visiting family is only an option of how to spend your time.

If its cool with your parents and his parents, just calmly correct him whenever he goes into "aunty" mode. The bigger deal you make out of it, the more he knows that he can push your buttons.

If it turns out that you really can't deal with being around him, and nothing you do changes things, then leave and go hang out with people who do respect your name.

That or go play violent video games. And reassure yourself that the little bugger is leaving soon.

Tell the little bastard it's something that happens when you hit X years old. One day he's going to wake up and be a girl. When he argues back just tell him adults don't let kids in on the secret, like Santa and the Tooth Fairy, it's just something you have to figure out for yourself when it hits you. Then you could spend a happy half hour helping him pick his girl name and braiding his hair.

Or you could just kick the little ->-bleeped-<- and pretend it was an accident.

same issue. 4 year old niece won't give up the whole aunty bit. even though her parents have been calling me uncle since the summer, telling her he this he that, and that I won't respond to her and tell her that I wont respond to her when she calls me aunty. LOLZ. Still get it every 2 seconds.

Rassel him.

Really though IDK if he wants to tease you he's going to zero in on this like a little missile that seeks bother. Kids :|