Why I'm Not Seeking Medical Transition

http://thisiswhatamanlookslike.wordpress.com/2010/12/23/pinprick/
by oscar

Cisgender (non-trans) men do not embody the standard of manhood, so I don't need their hormones or their chest shapes to feel tolerably masculine. If I am as legitimately masculine as any cis man, my body is just as good a template for what men should be as any cis man. It makes as much sense to expect cisgender men to take estrogen to acquire features similar to mine as it does to expect me to take testosterone to acquire features similar to cismen. Of course, we know that bodies, shapes, and hormone levels do not define gender. Only one criterion need be met to be a man: a person must self-identify as a man.

Don't understand the point of the blog or why it ended up on Susan's...quite baffling.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 26, 2010, 07:44:43 AM
Don't understand the point of the blog or why it ended up on Susan's...quite baffling.

All members of Susan's are allowed (and encouraged) to share news articles pertaining to transgender, including blogs and editorials, that they feel might be of interest to our community. One does not have to agree with the content, it can be posted here as long as it's done within site guidelines and doesn't violate any TOS.

Zythyra (News Admin)

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 26, 2010, 07:44:43 AM
Don't understand the point of the blog or why it ended up on Susan's...quite baffling.

I do understand the point of the blog, was delighted, and read several others written by Oscar. Thank you, Natasha, for calling attention to it. Admittedly, by being an Androgyne, I stay mostly in one backwater community of Susan's, but this essay really spoke to my situation.

I am a male-bodied woman, who were I not writing this entry would be elbow deep in dishwater, doing the pots and bowls left by the presumed women of the family who are off a thousand miles away celebrating the holiday--and I need to be drying the laundry, vacuuming, etc. They left me some of the chocolate bark because it wouldn't all fit in the box, but no rum balls, spritz cookies, etc., and lots of dishes. But I, and they, do feel it is my responsibility to clean the mess. I wouldn't have it any other way because I do self-identify as the woman of the house (I have the longest hair in the house to prove it).

Like Oscar, I think often about HRT and associated surgeries, so I can have the physical symbols of womanhood. It wouldn't make me any surer that what is within is female and feminist. Cis women might be more inclined to treat me as one of them, and not feel obliged to apologize to me for being the only male-bodied person in the group--or they might treat me as a freak. In any case, a medical transition would complicate my life more than it would simplify (I have a mother, 3 siblings, 4 children, and 3 grandchildren, not to mention 2 wives--one of whom is my ex).

Like Oscar, I have a body with some features worth keeping. I can open jars myself, and reach the top shelf if I stand on tip-toes. I have shorter lines when I require the WC. My SO likes my naked body, with all its bits and pieces. It functions reasonably well and is reasonably healthy.

So, maybe I don't need to spend money I don't have on dresses, makeup, and prescriptions. Maybe, my trans role is to concentrate on being the best male-bodied woman I can be. I have to think that over. I still want to learn to express myself--to speak and write, in particular--as a woman. And to use colors and patterns and fragrances. And I am still going to keep my appointment with my gender counselor at 4 on the sixth.

I learn so much here; I love it,
S     

I'm glad this was posted. Personally it is a hard subject for me to understand. But I do understand that a person doesn't have to look like gender stereotype to be happy. I like that this guy is doing what is right for him and no one else. I personally look forward to being hairy and having no boobs but if he is comfortable without all of that then that's great

There is a moment in your life, I'm sure that Simone Louise can speak to it too, when you get to be of a 'certain age' and it's kind of like a thunderbolt strike when you realize that people you know, your peer group and all that, are no longer dying of things like drug overdoses, extreme sports mistakes, and wrapping sports cars around telephone poles and they start to die of stuff like heart attacks, cancer and the rest of that mundane human illness jive.

Maybe it's an occupational hazard but I've had friends of mine say something that I have to admit that I've thought of more than once, and it's this: If I had known I'd live this long I sure would have changed some things way back then.

In a similar vein, sometimes just to bum my students out (particularly before a big party weekend) I'd tell them that: Your health after 45 depends largely on what you do with your body before you are 30.

When your young it seems like you are going to live forever, after a while you begin to realize that its' just not true.

Given all of that I have a lot of sympathy for people who opt out of the HRT deal.  In that real life deal - away from the net - its the largest single reason I know of in people I actually know who did not go through with transition.  They just could not in good conscience see themselves pumping their bodies full of synthetic chemicals. 

Moreover, what the author is saying is something that has near universal agreement here, that it's not what your body is, it's what your mind thinks.  And once you are there mentally, why go the rest of the way?

Quote from: Michael Alexander on December 26, 2010, 11:49:16 AM
But I do understand that a person doesn't have to look like gender stereotype to be happy.

I applaud someone who has the conscience to identify their gender as masculine but their body as female.  That says a lot about the maturity of the individual.

I've seen females who were extremely masculine in personality, but they were most certainly female in body.