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So tired of homeless people 'Sir'ing me when begging for money ...

Started by Epigania, December 26, 2010, 03:23:31 PM

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Epigania

So, I haven't been "Sir"ed in a long time.  Like a year and a half.  But it seems like every time it happens, it's a homeless person or a Meth-head on the street.

I thought I was doing well at passing, but apparently, I'm fooling myself.   It just happened on my way home from seeing Gulliver's Travel (Uhm .. I'd recommend against that movie unless your a Jack Black fan ... BTW.)  I was going to go shopping for some jewelry with money my mom had sent me for christmas, but I completely lost the mood and decided to go home.

I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever get past the Sir thing ... Maybe I'm just too ... manly. :(

Blech.

**Edit:  Sorry I just had to vent a bit. :/  I hate my station in life ATM.

CaitJ

Ugh, I had the same thing happen to me once, outside my apartment block while I was having a cigarette. Homeless guy comes up to me and says "Can I borrow your cigarette lighter sir?"
I replied "No, because I'm not a 'sir'"
He replies "Okay then 'bro', can I borrow your lighter?"
I spat back "No, piss off"
It really hurt that even after specifying that I wasn't a 'sir' he still didn't get it.
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Rock_chick

I get that every so often, though the last homeless person that asked for money called me "love".
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Epigania

It makes me feel a little better knowing that two people who look as beautiful as you two sometimes get it too.  It just sucks. 

I wish there were a way of scanning their brains to pick up what signals they are getting that makes them think "Man".

I know I have a long way to go, but still ...

Janet_Girl

One thing you have to realize is that most homeless, not all but most.   Have ether a drug or drinking problem.  This will haze over their thinking and reasoning.  I just ignore them period.
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CaitJ

Quote from: Epigania on December 26, 2010, 03:40:03 PM
It makes me feel a little better knowing that two people who look as beautiful as you two sometimes get it too.  It just sucks. 

I wish there were a way of scanning their brains to pick up what signals they are getting that makes them think "Man".

I know I have a long way to go, but still ...

Homeless people are often crazy and crazy people sometimes pick up on things that sane people don't.
Then again, a crazy homeless dude called my boyfriend 'ma'am', so perhaps it's just cuz they're crazy and they do it to everyone.
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spacial

Janet really says it all.

I'm very sorry for homeless people. I'm sure some are desperate. But too many just won't try.

I recall, once, In Glasgow, this homeless fellow comes up to me and says, 'A, Jimmy, ye git a few cions fer tae bouy sammit tae eat an that?'

I just walked away. My name isn't Jimmy.
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CaitJ

Quote from: spacial on December 26, 2010, 04:44:15 PM
I'm very sorry for homeless people. I'm sure some are desperate. But too many just won't try.

In NZ, with our social welfare system, you pretty much have to choose to be homeless (or severely mentally impaired and therefore not able to comprehend your situation. Even then, the state will try to put you in care).
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Epigania

I will normally give people a few dollars or something to eat if I see them on the street begging and they looks like they have true issues.

In a lot of cases, I see people on the street who are just out looking for free handouts or cash for drugs/alcohol.  In fact, just before this fellow (who was one of the drug people I think) bummed out my day, I had just given this poor old fellow a dollar to get some warm coffee. 

It just makes me hyper aware when they use the wrong pronouns. :(

KillBelle

Sorry to hear that, yeah it's strange how someone whom youve never met can hurt you so badly. Kind of twisted.
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Chastance

Could just be they're not sure or don't bother to look and just default to sir. Where I live people default to sir because most women here won't slug them if they mis gender.
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Victor

A lot of homeless people (not all, no where's near all, but enough to be noticeable) do have issues, be they drinking/drug problems, or mental issues, so it is very possible that they weren't fully there when they Sir'd you. That also being said, there are some who are ashamed of having to ask for help, thus avoid looking directly at someone and default to Sir.

Though looking through this thread one thing makes me cringe, and that is the noticeable opinion that homeless people are to blame for their own situation, while this may be the case for at least half of the homeless population, it is not the case for all who are homeless. There are some who are disabled and fighting to survive without much luck or family to help them while fighting to try to get assistance from the organizations who offer it (those organizations are so use to people taking advantage of the handouts that they sometimes make getting help hard for those who really need it to discourage the lazy who don't need it from taking advantage.) or just ended up down on their luck, I know, I was on the streets for two years myself due to being young with no safe place to turn for help and no experience to help me make my way. I got out that situation, but it took me two years to get on stable footing. So please don't judge all homeless people the same, some of them are there due to their own stupidity yes, but not all of them are, some really are trying. Sadly unless someone smells of booze there's no way of telling which is which, thus why I normally just advise them on the location of a nearby foodbank to try to help them along and leave it at that.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand. It is very possible they just didn't take a good look or were in an altered mental state when they Sir'd you, don't take it as a measure of how well you pass. If you normally pass alright, then there you go, even bio-females get Sir'd sometimes, look at the majority of encounters, not the minority, and don't let getting Sir'd by someone who may not have really been looking at you, properly at least, get you down.
Anything worth doing is going to be a challenge, after all, how can you feel proud of something that's just handed to you without some effort?
If I wanted the easy route I'd stick to being miserable, but that's just not my style.
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Karla

I will go ahead and confirm that some of the homeless people out there are crazy or have seriously impaired perception.
As an acquaintance of mine once said: "Sir?? F* you!! You deserve to be homeless :("

As a rule, I only give a homeless person money or stuffs when they don't ask for it, and only after a 'screening'.

Quote from: Alexmakenoise on December 26, 2010, 03:45:53 PM
... the bums who hassle me when I'm walking down the street.  (And I say "bums", not "homeless people" because a lot of them aren't homeless; some of the worst are the drunks who live at the SRO around the corner.)
Those "rappers" on Times Square, anyone?? :icon_shakefist:
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Epigania

I try to give folks money when I can.  The people here in the Seattle Area are so brazen as to put their need for alcohol on their signs and stuff.   ::)

Anyway, thank you all for the posts.  I appreciate the insight from others.  Sometimes the emotions get the better of me and I go a little overboard it seems.



jade

As far as the cisgendered homeless, they can go get a job. I feel more sorry for the issues transgendered girls go through daily.

>:-)
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Hermione01

Quote from: Vexing on December 26, 2010, 03:28:15 PM
Ugh, I had the same thing happen to me once, outside my apartment block while I was having a cigarette. Homeless guy comes up to me and says "Can I borrow your cigarette lighter sir?"
I replied "No, because I'm not a 'sir'"
He replies "Okay then 'bro', can I borrow your lighter?"
I spat back "No, piss off"
It really hurt that even after specifying that I wasn't a 'sir' he still didn't get it.

Had the same thing happen just a few months ago, except the guy wasn't homeless, just some dude and his gf who regularly ask for money at the train station.

Dude- Hey bro!! Can you give me some money for train fare!
His gf - That's a woman
Dude- ummmm, can you ...
Me- No, you asked me that last week ;D
Dude- awwww, no I didn't..... :angel:

(they walk off, he then asked every person on the platform)

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CaitJ

Quote from: Victor on December 26, 2010, 06:05:44 PM
So please don't judge all homeless people the same, some of them are there due to their own stupidity yes, but not all of them are, some really are trying.

As I stated earlier, this isn't the case in my country. Every single person is entitled to social welfare of at least $140 a week and will be given government housing.
Being homeless over here is a choice, unless you are mentally ill (in which case the state will try to put you in care).
There are few of those that slip through the cracks, or course, but if you see one, a phone call would be all it takes to get them help.
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Victor

Quote from: Vexing on December 26, 2010, 10:02:36 PM
As I stated earlier, this isn't the case in my country. Every single person is entitled to social welfare of at least $140 a week and will be given government housing.
Being homeless over here is a choice, unless you are mentally ill (in which case the state will try to put you in care).
There are few of those that slip through the cracks, or course, but if you see one, a phone call would be all it takes to get them help.

It's great to hear they have a system like that in place where you are, just wish more places did such, I know it's straining on resources but, a life's a life, sometimes a leg up is all that's needed, nice to hear there's someplace out there that gives that leg up.
Anything worth doing is going to be a challenge, after all, how can you feel proud of something that's just handed to you without some effort?
If I wanted the easy route I'd stick to being miserable, but that's just not my style.
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Laruza

Quote from: Epigania on December 26, 2010, 03:23:31 PM
So, I haven't been "Sir"ed in a long time.  Like a year and a half.  But it seems like every time it happens, it's a homeless person or a Meth-head on the street.

I thought I was doing well at passing, but apparently, I'm fooling myself.   It just happened on my way home from seeing Gulliver's Travel (Uhm .. I'd recommend against that movie unless your a Jack Black fan ... BTW.)  I was going to go shopping for some jewelry with money my mom had sent me for christmas, but I completely lost the mood and decided to go home.

I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever get past the Sir thing ... Maybe I'm just too ... manly. :(

Blech.

**Edit:  Sorry I just had to vent a bit. :/  I hate my station in life ATM.

I know it seems like a big deal now, but just try to realize that there's probably a reason as others stated in this thread (such as he wasn't looking and just used sir by default), even if he was looking at you and mistakenly used sir... But even if he was saying it to hurt your feelings (which I highly doubt it), he's just one person among many insignificant negative people. I find it better to dwell upon your positive experiences and encounters, even though it's very easy to keep thinking about the negative.
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emma shore

Some people seem to just seek out people who apear different, it is human ignorance that wont seem to be pushed aside...we may picture  ourselves in any way we choose, but others will always press both accidental and purposfull cruelety onto all, though this cant be helped you should never look down on yourself becuase someone see's you differently than you portray or picture yourself. in bad situations as the one you discribed we met someone who was just another person out to harm you. for your comparrison, just 2 weeks ago at a kingsupers checkout ( getting my chocolate fix on :p ) i set it down and the dumb looking cashier with *jose* written on his name tag said "that'l be 1.99+tax sir" while i must say it anoyed me i can agree with you ther, however i did stare him in the face and replied sarcastically "thank you mam" the utter confusion and anoyance on his face was enough to cure me of my undiserved discrminiation, so as you can see, most of these "anoying" comments can be faced away by humor and a good sence of pride :D
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