I'm a lurker mostly around these here forums, but recently I just wanted to share some holiday joy I've been having, and ask a question.

I've been dating this girl, for about a month now, I didn't tell her about me being trans till last night. And her reply that 'Kayden is Kayden, the guy I fell in love with.' I can understand that the teenage deffinition of love is ridiculed, but oh well. It just really made my day. And I'm suprised she didn't find out in the first place, because I passed both vocally and physically, and my voice is extremely feminine .

Another thing that I've been rather estatic about is passing in general, just last week an elder woman told me when I offered to help her with her groceries, 'You'll make a good husband someday.' It was just a random 'made my day' kind of thing I guess.

Question:::..
So, I live in an uber religious area, about a minutes walk to my church. I live right next door to the pastor. And let's just say that my church is against gay men being able to become preachers and be involved in any church commities. So my question is, is any suggestions on how I should come out, or should I just stay the way I am and maybe they'll get the hint?


Happy holidays to all, even though some may dread it, I earnestly hope you guys can enjoy the season.

they likely live to far in denial to get the hint. That's what i've been finding. Be sure about your faith before you come out. It could be a rough time (speaking from experience)

Hi there from a fellow lurker.. I am not sure if this is going to come out right but I wonder why you want to come out to the church, is it something you want to do? or something you feel you have to do? If you feel you want to go for it but if it is because you feel you have to keep in mind you don't owe anyone you're not intimate with an explanation any more than anyone else owes you one..
Take care 

 Hi Bancho

Being a non-religious, non-American, and female; I am of course fully qualified to discuss this

I do a little bit of counselling for MtF mainly, but I also do some 'harm protection' which is different of course.

One thing about 'coming out' is that there is no going back. There is no way I can go to work in a dress and say next day it was a joke.

There is going to be a point in time that I can hide my breasts and pretend they are not developing.  There will be no going back. Walk into work; Hi I just thought designer boobs was the in thing for guys this season

There are check points that we live with, and we have to be very certain that we can cross them because there in NO going back, the line is erased.

There is no way you can go to your pastor and tell him that you are male and are going to get the physical transformation to match your gender. Or even not go onto T and hope that people will forget.  Once you step over the line the line has gone.  I have no idea, obviously, what your community is like. If it is small and homophobic and fundamentalist, welcome to misery. Because no one will try to understand you. It is not in their interest to understand you. In fact it is against their interest.


Traditional religions are based on conformity,  without getting into religious arguments, and please don't, most religions grew to allow a society to develop. (Sorry for this) If you couldn't steal his horse, rape his wife or kill him there was a chance that a community would develop.

So where does that leave you and your girlfriend? How accepting is your community. Early days, but say you start living together, can you? If she wants children, and most women do BTW, are you and the community OK with adoption and/or artificial insemination?

How comfortable will you both be, walking down the street holding hands and having a kiss under the mistletoe?

Oh and why lurk?

I think you will find we are a very accepting place.

Merry Xmas Guys

Cindy

Why do you feel the need to come out?

Seems things are ptretty good as they are.

@ALX :: I don't feel the need to come out, but I know that sooner or later people will start asking me questions.

@Cindy :: The community in which I live in is strongly homophobic, it's a small hamlet with a population of 50, and a lady two houses down already thinks I have serious problems and offers to take me to her church to watch films about hell, and that was because I was into Harry Potter.  As for my girlfriend and I, it's actually a long distance relationship, and as for future things, such as children, that's not quite somthing we've discussed. We're both young people, and have been for a month, so children isn't somthing we really discuss at the time. The reason why I lurk, is for the fact that I perfer to read rather than comment, for I know this community is very accepting, which is originally why I joined it.

@spacial:: as stated with ALX, it's that people will eventually start to question me.

Thank you all for the help thus far

Hmm yeah I guess I get your point, transition tends to get noticed by those closest to us. I'm there too. I wonder if my family will accept me, but for me for the most part I am waiting for transition itself, when changes are happening, but that doesn't mean that's right for you.. I'm not sure any one of us can tell you what's right.. Do you have any people around you other than your lover that do know? What does s/he think? The biggest gift anyone has ever given me is complete acceptance at a time I wasn't ready to even myself.. I didn't expect that at all and it's opened a door for me to accept myself a lot more. You never really know..
Prepare for what you fear, know time can be your friend,  but keep in mind that you might be in for a surprise too..
One day at a time

I have a friend of mine and my sister who have supported me ever since I had told them. And they had told me that I'm still me, and my sister even told me that she sort of expected it.