Quote from: Simone V on December 25, 2010, 12:28:07 PM
I'm not questioning my transition, I have always questioned my existence. If God exists he has a hell of a strange sense of humor. So many of us hurting for so long because we're born what we can't be, inside. 
Then when we finally step forward and push our selves out of the dark and cold. There are those that stand ready to push us back in. Normally these are the people we care about.
I intend on transitioning. I might someday be alone in the world because of it.
But I am hoping that those that turn away are replaced by some of greater fortitude.
I hope to find a family of like minded people that I will see in reality and pray that the declining years of my life prove to be more pleasant then the years to this point.

To be honest today I was blind sided my siblings and friends. I'll get over it, I'm sure many of you have experienced the same at some point.

Hugs Simone

Simone.

I can't give you an easy answer, but as your confidence grows, I think you'll stop putting up with this crap.

Many of us know so well the feeling of being a doormat, we spend our lives in compromise, trying to be men while lacking the male instincts, because we are really women. We know what we are. We've always known. But we needed to compromise and ended up being second rate men.

To quote a line from that song, I wish I'd been born a girl, instead of this wreak of a man.

If I've learnt something from Susans', and compared to what I thought I knew, I've learnt everything, it's that, when we can be ourselves, we can begin to build.

You have a lot of catching up to do. But I'm pretty sure, that, you are going to emerge from this a mre confident woman than you were ever an effective man.

Hi sweety

I must agree with spacial and colleen.
stop putting up the crap because like colleen said, you never be alone in this world.
and believe me Simone, the world would not be better without you, it's contrary.
You are just a wonderful person, look, how long are you on susan's and how many friends did you make who are compassionate with you.
I think this will say enough about you, people love you on the way you are.
You are rejected by some people, this will happen more but there will be other people who won't judging you, but respect you, i'll respect you, you're somebody with courage. Don't let yourselve go depressed by other people, that was in an earlier life, these days are over now, IT'S YOUR TURN NOW.
stay strong sister, sometimes we have to take some hurdles, but what are hurdles in a long journey, nothing, we take them with a big smile because we have another fight to win, and you will win.

Please Simone keep up the faith, we are here to support you.

love sweety and a big christmaskiss

annette

Hi Simone,
Hang in there girl. Sadly people with the stupid gene seem to breed faster than those of us with the acceptance gene. But we win in the end.

I spent Christmas day with my wife, I brought her from the nursing, home, and her family. All of the family know and accept me, except we haven't told my mother in law as she in her nineties and we don't want to shock her.  So I wore female jeans and T with female runners, nice and pink , my gold hoop ear rings and watch and perfume and mascara, I just didn't wear a wig.

Every one was fine. My wife's carers, all gave me a hug and a kiss. Two of them said my perfume was nice and what was it - and they have never met Cindy in the flesh. , So there are accepting people Simone. we just have to keep looking for them, and never give in to the idiots who have no understanding of what humanity means, what Christmas means, and what family means.  But we do.

Hugs

Cindy

Oh Simone, It does hurt.
I am so sorry that people family and freinds treated you that way.
Your sisters mad the wrong decisions, and they have missed the company of a have caring sibbling.
   I'm being upset , sorry.  Just hate it when people act so stupid.

QuoteSo many of us hurting for so long because we're born what we can't be, inside. 
Then when we finally step forward and push our selves out of the dark and cold. There are those that stand ready to push us back in. Normally these are the people we care about.
I intend on transitioning. I might someday be alone in the world because of it.

Your so right and I too am not happy with the thought of being alone and at 60 it can be very scary.

But don't ever ever think it would have been better if you had never been born.
That is so wrong. You have so encourgaged us (me). And I so treasure your friendship.
You are not along Colleen and I are here and a lot of other good and loving people at Susan's.

Hugs Sis, I hope and pray that tommorow is a better day for you.
Jillieannn

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. I am feeling a little better now. Was still a lonely Christmas day but I managed to get through it. I said nothing and played taxi driver for mom and dad.

Tomorrow I have to make a turkey for them as they are expecting some other guests.  But I am going to excuse myself from Dinner.

I feel for now anyway I should distance myself from more exposure to any bias's that people may have. For my own sanity, being strong is a good thing but self punishment through exposure is silly.

Anyway merry Christmas extended family!
Simone

Hang in there Simone.
Jillieann

we should have a Susan's get together sometime. Pick a place and try to all make it for a weekend of stress free just being us with out concern for what others think good time.

Quote from: Jillieann on December 26, 2010, 03:43:32 PM

Hang in there Simone.
Jillieann

Aww, Jillieann, that was beautiful.  Simone, I couldn't agree with you more.  Perhaps one day we'll make it happen.

Hi Simone

thank God, christmas is over now, just the hurdle of newyear and we can go on with the normal life.
I think you have taken it very well, it wasn't easy but you did it.
The next year should be a better year, don't you think?
It's always very stressfull, the holidays, doing the shopping, meeting the family ( who not always are very friendly despite the message peace on earth)
But....we survived it.
I'm glad you are feeling a little better now, carry on girl, they have to respect you, coz you are a wonderfull person with a good sense of humor, and we love you for that.

colleen...I take everything back about what i've said about lenses, your new glasses suit you very well.

love
annette

Colleen,
I'm sorry with Christmas and all I some how missed saying that I like your avatar with your new glasses.
Your look good girl.
Jillieann

The problem with Christmas is that we all expect it to be so good. We are all expected to be so happy.

We bring together a pile of people whospend the rest of the year avoiding each other. We spend loads that we don't have and get sick eating too much.

The presents we buy are generally disappointing. The decorations take ages to put up and even longer to get down. There's always a terrible mess to clean up.

The TV is generally boring, what good stuf there is is one when other good stuff is one and we end up watching sports anyway.

The news always seems to find a reason to make us misrable. Then someone reminds  us that most of the world is hungry.

Still, only another 363 shopping days left till the next one

Haha, funny comment, spacial.

(and, even though it's depressing, it's true in so many cases)

hehe okay please don't mind the mock accent I'm about to try in text. My brother in law is from Italy and from a very catholic family so yesterday at the dinner I felt I would cook for but not attend.  I was surprised, My brother in law came knocking on my door with something to say. So here it is sort of.

"Lett a me say some-a  thing! I'm -a no care about what ever you wanna do. What ever you do is okay wit me. But you cook a dinner you come and eat wit us! You wanna be a woman be a woman. But you don't walk a way so-a fast!"

My jaw hurt all night because it dropped so hard!
Turns out my older sister and her husband are not letting my other sister dictate to them so much after all. I felt good and we had my turkey dinner and it came out moist, I did muff up the stuffing though. But the Gravy and mash made up for it. My carrot cake was a success as well.

Now onto other things.

Quote from: spacial on December 27, 2010, 06:42:45 AM
The problem with Christmas is that we all expect it to be so good. We are all expected to be so happy.

We bring together a pile of people who spend the rest of the year avoiding each other. We spend loads that we don't have and get sick eating too much.

The presents we buy are generally disappointing. The decorations take ages to put up and even longer to get down. There's always a terrible mess to clean up.

The TV is generally boring, what good stuff there is is one when other good stuff is one and we end up watching sports anyway.

The news always seems to find a reason to make us misrable. Then someone reminds  us that most of the world is hungry.

Still, only another 363 shopping days left till the next one

So True Spacial but then sometimes someone surprises you.

Quote from: annette on December 27, 2010, 03:09:35 AM
Hi Simone

thank God, christmas is over now, just the hurdle of newyear and we can go on with the normal life.
I think you have taken it very well, it wasn't easy but you did it.
The next year should be a better year, don't you think?
It's always very stressfull, the holidays, doing the shopping, meeting the family ( who not always are very friendly despite the message peace on earth)
But....we survived it.
I'm glad you are feeling a little better now, carry on girl, they have to respect you, coz you are a wonderfull person with a good sense of humor, and we love you for that.

colleen...I take everything back about what i've said about lenses, your new glasses suit you very well.

love
annette

Yes thank god Christmas is over.  New years eve for me will be a quiet affair for me.

Quote from: Jillieann on December 26, 2010, 03:43:32 PM

Hang in there Simone.
Jillieann

How did you know I love snoopy and woodstock!

Quote from: CindyJames on December 25, 2010, 10:02:08 PM
Hi Simone,
Hang in there girl. Sadly people with the stupid gene seem to breed faster than those of us with the acceptance gene. But we win in the end.

I spent Christmas day with my wife, I brought her from the nursing, home, and her family. All of the family know and accept me, except we haven't told my mother in law as she in her nineties and we don't want to shock her.  So I wore female jeans and T with female runners, nice and pink , my gold hoop ear rings and watch and perfume and mascara, I just didn't wear a wig.

Every one was fine. My wife's carers, all gave me a hug and a kiss. Two of them said my perfume was nice and what was it - and they have never met Cindy in the flesh. , So there are accepting people Simone. we just have to keep looking for them, and never give in to the idiots who have no understanding of what humanity means, what Christmas means, and what family means.  But we do.

Hugs

Cindy

You have a lovely new picture Cindy.
I am learning quickly that extended family can come from far away and you get to chose who they are.
Thank you all for being my extended family

Hugs
Simone

Simone.

That is brilliant news about your brothr-in-law and your sister.

You know, it's fun to read your posts, because though you are facing up to a lot of problems, each one, more or less, sees to be tumbling down, almost like a lot of wall made o polystyrine and no glue.

You stick in there girl. I really think you'r headed for a home run.

That was such a heartwarming story, Simone!  I am so happy for you.  You deserve it.

A happy Christmas story is so uplifting after getting through my own. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad it went better than expected for you.


(The accent part was cool)

Oh Simone, it's so good to hear all worked out at the dinner with your older sister and brother-in-law.
And I am happy that you got to enjoy some time with the family.
As Spacial said your knocking down walls left and right.
Way to go girl, stick to your guns sis.

I had no idea that you loved Snoopy and Woodstock but I'm glad you do.
I'm a fan of the Peanuts Gang, but my favorite are Snoopy and Woodstock.
I wore a Christmas Snoopy and Woodstock t-shirt all Christmas Eve day that had Snoopy on a sled in the star light night sky with a Woodstock and his bird friends, with reindeer antlers pulling the sled. I smile every time I look down at it.
On Christmas day I had on Snoopy with a Santa outfit on saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Hugs,
Jillieann
 

Hi Simone
glad to hear things get well after all.
I think I like your italian brother in law, he is someone who thinks live and let live.
after all you won't hurt nobody with being happy in the way you are, contrary you make people happy and that's a gift you own.

maybe for next year we have to read the book of John Cleese....how to survive christmas.

love
annette

This is totally not on topic but!

Today I had a conversation with my father, we were chatting about the British Royal Family and how it is that the woman in that family live so long and age so gracefully.  I tend to follow the royals ever since the lady Dianna era.

So when I mentioned it dad said. "Well let me tell you something, soaking things in wine or gin has long been a method of preservation and you can on the amounts of liberal libation done in buckingham castle!

So there's our secret! Let the drinking begin!



Hugs Simone

Simone thank you for sharing that lovely Christmas story. I am glad your brother in law is a good man. I think Christmas is overrated personally and not fun for way too many people.

I want to say that it is a pleasure to see your smiling avatar.

I am glad too your parents are good and loving people. I loved the part where your mom said to your dad, "See I told you so."

Like Spacial said there a plenty of accepting people, kind wonderful people. It is funny though how the idiots of this world can shoot a dart into our heart and cause us so much pain with thier rejection. The fact is they are just selfish stupid people. I like to read Spacials advice she always knows what to say about those kind of people. She is exactly right.

Lord Kat, Colleen, Jillian, Annette and Cindy James are really great people here too with tons of support to offer. As you already know. There are many many many great people here and you are too. Well I am looking forward to more of your posts. Thanks for the Christmas Cheer!

~Big Hugs~

Mrs Erocse~