I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on slowly changing their clothing style to be more feminine while still being full time as male. I need to wait until I move out of my parents house before I can fully transition, but I want to start taking small steps to feminize myself in appearance. I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about this, and what I can get in male cloths to look and feel more feminine without others really noticing a whole lot at first. I know eventually I will be going full time. But that could very easily be a year away, and since I have never really cross dressed. I would like to slowly transition my wardrobe from male to androgynous, then female. Rather than going out fully dressed as male, then the next day as female. For me that would just cause waaay too much anxiety to jump over like that. Does anyone have any suggestions. I would really like to start wearing brighter colours etc. But I'm just scared about how far I can take it at this point until I am completely ready to come out to the world. I really want to start getting some regular woman's cloths for myself in private but that may be tricky atm since I am living with my parents, and I am so scared of going to a woman's clothing store dressed as a male to shop for woman's clothes and getting all kinds of stares etc. I think as I transition, I will probably start to dress like the girl next door. As a man I definitely have fashion tastes and as a woman I will feel a lot freer to express myself through my clothing ie curvy form fitting jeans brighter colours and not having every shirt that I own go strait up to my neck. But I don't want to look super super extravagant or anything obviously or like a tv or cd since I am an mtf.

Quote from: Chantal185 on December 27, 2010, 08:43:28 PM
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on slowly changing their clothing style to be more feminine while still being full time as male. I need to wait until I move out of my parents house before I can fully transition, but I want to start taking small steps to feminize myself in appearance. I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about this, and what I can get in male cloths to look and feel more feminine without others really noticing a whole lot at first. I know eventually I will be going full time. But that could very easily be a year away, and since I have never really cross dressed. I would like to slowly transition my wardrobe from male to androgynous, then female. Rather than going out fully dressed as male, then the next day as female. For me that would just cause waaay too much anxiety to jump over like that. Does anyone have any suggestions. I would really like to start wearing brighter colours etc. But I'm just scared about how far I can take it at this point until I am completely ready to come out to the world. I really want to start getting some regular woman's cloths for myself in private but that may be tricky atm since I am living with my parents, and I am so scared of going to a woman's clothing store dressed as a male to shop for woman's clothes and getting all kinds of stares etc. I think as I transition, I will probably start to dress like the girl next door. As a man I definitely have fashion tastes and as a woman I will feel a lot freer to express myself through my clothing ie curvy form fitting jeans brighter colours and not having every shirt that I own go strait up to my neck. But I don't want to look super super extravagant or anything obviously or like a tv or cd since I am an mtf.

Sounds like a good plan for me. I gradually phased out some male styles (other than a grey sweater and black sweatpants) for most of 2004.

Emo and goth styles tend to be quite andro, as do some hipster styles.
The bonus of emo and goth looks is that makeup is acceptable.

Quote from: Vexing on December 27, 2010, 10:30:43 PM
Emo and goth styles tend to be quite andro, as do some hipster styles.
The bonus of emo and goth looks is that makeup is acceptable.

This is what I was going to say. Both styles are pretty andro, and no one looks much at all the emo or scene kids in the mall with skinny girl jeans and a girl t on. And as mentioned, make-up is also the norm with these as well.

Thanks for the advice Muffin. p.s you look really passable. Now that you look female when dressing andro, people will be less likely to notice when you start going to all those girly clothing stores. I also know that goth/ emo styles are pretty andro like Vexing and JennX mentioned, but I just find them so drab since everything is so black and they just do not fit my personality. I'm more of the shy soft kind of girl who really really just wants to cross over without a whole lot of attention.

"But I'm just scared about how far I can take it at this point until I am completely ready to come out to the world."

Your confidence will make a lot of difference in your presentation. Everybody is nervous in the beginning. Start with a pair of women's pants with a man's shirt if you need to start in subtle ways or wear a woman's top with men's pants. Once you get started you won't worry so much about what others think and you will be able to do more. If you haven't already, get a feminine hairstyle-if you can. Bear in mind that the way you think about things now will probably change after a while so take things slowly and don't get too big of a hurry to make changes. It is surprising how fast a year will go bye.
Good Luck,
Randi

I am right now already trying some of this at work and elsewhere... since my face and hair style does not look feminine at all (courtesy: facial hair    )..

I have started wearing my jeans in a more feminine manner (keeping them at a higher waist, tucking .. well almost..  and more/less shapely depending on style/mood)  and stopped wearing the jeans that are too obviously masculine ...

Since I dont want to spend too much on clothes I may later throw away... I am trying to avoid spending on clothes unless they are feminine/andro clothes meant for men... and yet to find woman's jeans in my size that fit my shape...

also while goth/emo styles are andro ... they draw waaaay too much attention and will be difficult to explain at work or any formal occasion ...

also I am still looking for a corset to wear under my clothes....  to help make my upper body shape look more feminine ...

these are just some of the things you could try ... also if you find a store that sells more of stuff like this it would make thing easier for you..

Hope things work out!!

::hugs::

Frankly, I'll probably just wear my male clothes until people start perceiving me as female.  I don't want to spend money on transitionary clothes.  The only real female clothes I have on hand other than a few pairs of jeans are all the old clothes my mom keeps in the extra closet.  But those are probably grandma's, and outdated by fifty years.

Quote from: VeryGnawty on December 28, 2010, 12:15:54 AM
Frankly, I'll probably just wear my male clothes until people start perceiving me as female.  I don't want to spend money on transitionary clothes.

Mmmhm. Couldn't agree more. I've spent probably $20,000 on my female wardrobe to date. I'd hate to think what the cost would have been like if I'd done 'transition' clothes as well.

I did the three step changeover: male for work, glam fem for weekly visits to local transfreindly clubs then after the therapist said 'You are transsexual' I just threw out the male stuff and bought everyday fem stuff and switched completely and settled into a nicely stylish traditional woman look of skirts and tops, makeup and jewellery.

Hair has been mentioned,  if it is long enough you can style it differently once you are out of the house.  You don't indicate where you live, but if you are in the country you can wear boots,  broad brimmed hat and jacket that are ambiguous also.

I am slowly replacing my male clothes as they wear out so that change is gradual. Once I start HRT things will no doubt speed up, so I will probably end up spending a lot more!

Ultra skinny spray on jeans are a good start...they don't even have to be female cut as long as the fit well. in fact i managed to mix up my super skinny boys jeans with the women's pair i bought and didn't wear the women's jeans for months be i thought they were too masculine. i then ended up wearing them when my other jeans were dirty and was like "oh...these actually have a really feminine fit".
fitted t-shirts are good as well, and buying unisex stuff from some where like american apparel is a good bet. and don't worry about spending money on in between clothes, they'll still work once you've transitioned or just buy a sewing machine and adapt stuff. you can for example make a really nice dress out of a couple of t-shirts, or just cut uo old t-shirts and sew the prints onto basic girls tops.

Hi Helena, I'm glad you said that about sewing machines. My mother has one and sometimes I will cut the side stitches out of my shirts and sew a curved stitch instead of the old straight one and this works very well for me. Bye the way I love your avatar pic.

When I started I would go to yard sales, Goodwill, or other bargain stores and just pick up one or two cheap items like tees or mock turtles and wear them under another shirt or jacket. It doesn't cost very much to do this and will add color to your wardrobe. I have to be more picky about my jeans and slacks because I am not easily satisfied with just anything-typical for us girls huh? I have skinny legs and like my pants to fit snugly without sagging-these are sometimes difficult to find. So I put more thought into choosing these.

I have had a feminine hairstyle for a few months now and it has made a world of difference for me. When I look into the mirror I dont see so much of the guy in there anymore. Now I can set it parted on either side or the middle and it does just what I want it to. It can be difficult to get your stylist to do it but be adamant about what you want and tell them exactly what YOU want and most will try to give you that - knowing you can take your business elsewhere. If you take someone with you who doesn't want you to transition they might try to influence the stylist or pressure you into getting a style that is less feminine than you want-it happened to me so now I am very clear about what I want before any cutting is done and get my hair done when I'm by myself.

Randi

sounds exactly like what I did. It's simple really when going clothes shopping look in the female section then buy the most masculine clothes you can there, As if you were dressing like a lesbian even if your not. then slowly push the boat out with one new "Female feature" on an item of clothing each month like low cut or non-typical male patterns then towards the end of the year skirts and dresses.

Chantal...I am practically in the same boat with you at the moment.  On top of the problems you mentioned, I find it hard to fit into the cute shirts I want to at the moment.  I've got broad shoulders and that makes me feel down, but I've got wide hips too and practically no adam's apple.  I think we all have our "things" about us we don't like and all I can suggest is take it that pace you need to feel comfortable.

I did buy some neutral and feminine clothes for this stage of transition...nothing fancy though, local thrift shops can be a blessing!   

Quote from: Double_Rainbow on December 28, 2010, 09:46:08 AM
Chantal...I am practically in the same boat with you at the moment.  On top of the problems you mentioned, I find it hard to fit into the cute shirts I want to at the moment.  I've got broad shoulders and that makes me feel down, but I've got wide hips too and practically no adam's apple.

V necklines suit broad shoulders and minimise the broadness. Avoid square cut and boat necklines as they will accentuate the broadness of your shoulders. When you move to women's clothing, scoop necklines will be very flattering.

I suppose I had it a bit easier as I was already 'out' that I liked guys, so as someone perceived as a gay male its a bit easier to get away with your wardrobe around your family & friends.

We have a shop in town that's all Japanese labels targeted at Gay men & straight women, although the tops are made for guys their rather feminine, V cut and include lots of detail/layers/ruffles.  ( http://www.barcodespace.com/  - the stores website to get an idea of styles im talking about(u will need to look at their facebook pane in the left collum))

Nice thing about shopping at stores targeted to trendy gay men/hipsters is that their either run by gay people or friends of the glbt community. Hell he was grabbing jeans off the girls rack for me because he thought they would look good when I was rocking a beard

Shopped there for 2 years pre-transition so luckily have a lot of 'gender neutral' clothes, problem is as with any tight fitting clothes by the time your 3 months into transition you can no longer wear them if you dont want to be out...at 5 months now even with a baggy shirt the headlights are always on so its multi-layers(not comfortable in Aussie summer!) or the screw it attitude, i prefer the later.

Quote from: Vexing on December 27, 2010, 10:30:43 PM
Emo and goth styles tend to be quite andro, as do some hipster styles.
The bonus of emo and goth looks is that makeup is acceptable.

This is the route I took.   I play in a band and people are use to seeing "andro" clothes. I've been wearing girls jeans for quite a while and most of my shirts look like they could be a girls or boys shirt. I have a few v necks that are my go to clothes when I just want to wear something comfy.
I started using a little more make-up not much just a little eye liner and some cover up.  But there will be a time when you can't hide what you are going through and everyone will be seeing the "real YOU".
In the meantime have fun with the process.
And remember that transition is not only for you, but those that love you and want to understand what you are going through. It gives you a perfect opportunity to get in there have fun with the new look and give them time to gradually see YOU.
Hugs.
Stephie

Quote from: Randi on December 28, 2010, 08:16:30 AM
Hi Helena, I'm glad you said that about sewing machines. My mother has one and sometimes I will cut the side stitches out of my shirts and sew a curved stitch instead of the old straight one and this works very well for me. Bye the way I love your avatar pic.

When I started I would go to yard sales, Goodwill, or other bargain stores and just pick up one or two cheap items like tees or mock turtles and wear them under another shirt or jacket. It doesn't cost very much to do this and will add color to your wardrobe. I have to be more picky about my jeans and slacks because I am not easily satisfied with just anything-typical for us girls huh? I have skinny legs and like my pants to fit snugly without sagging-these are sometimes difficult to find. So I put more thought into choosing these.

I have had a feminine hairstyle for a few months now and it has made a world of difference for me. When I look into the mirror I dont see so much of the guy in there anymore. Now I can set it parted on either side or the middle and it does just what I want it to. It can be difficult to get your stylist to do it but be adamant about what you want and tell them exactly what YOU want and most will try to give you that - knowing you can take your business elsewhere. If you take someone with you who doesn't want you to transition they might try to influence the stylist or pressure you into getting a style that is less feminine than you want-it happened to me so now I am very clear about what I want before any cutting is done and get my hair done when I'm by myself.

Randi

I'm totally glad you guys mentioned that modifying the old boy shirts with a curve I just gave it a try on my sewing machine and it's not to bad. Although I'm gonna need some more practice the one I did dosnt look bad but dosnt look great.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with getting clothes for during the transition. For me it's helping make it more easy and really helping find the style that works well with my body type. To save on money I just stick to the usual discount stores like Roos and what not. And actually anchor blue is really cheap too and they have some plain boys and girls stuff that looks very andro.

Chantal; I did exactly what you are intending to do. I did not see myself transitioning all at once, nore did I see the need to. The only thing I regret about it now is that at some point it more or less forced me to be open about my transition. You will get looks and people will ask questions (although I guess that that can or will happen when you transition at once too). At the time I didn't mind talking to people about my transition but what I didn't see coming is that these people would continue to speak to me the way they did then and still expect me to be open about it all. Now I don't like to speak about my transition so much anymore and certainly not with just anyone. Things can change, appearantly. I don't know what things would have been like if I would have transitioned at once. I'm sure there are pros and cons to both. Oh yeah, one reason why I also did it the way I did it was because I wanted to find out how people would view me in andro-mode. I was very surprised to find out that strangers viewed me as female from the very beginning. They used the right pronouns right away. It gave me confidence to go on because I figured that things would only get better. In the end I think this route was the right one for me. Friends pointed out to me that this route had already started long before I was even aware of it. Looking back I now realise that they are right and that it all has been (as they say) some sort of natural process.

About clothes; what I loved wearing (and I still wear it a lot) is skinny jeans with turtleneck sweaterdress or turtleneck minidress and (flat?) boots. Don't invest in clothing too much at this point because you may find your taste and courage changing rapidly. I have a lot of clothes now that I still like a lot but are just not feminine enough for me. My taste is still changing to more feminine styles. Well, I don't think it's really my taste that's changing, it's my courage that's changing (and my body).

Have fun!