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What was it like when you found the perfect name for yourself?

Started by Everyone, December 29, 2010, 12:28:59 AM

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Nikolai_S

Quote from: phoenixflorida on December 29, 2010, 04:24:22 PM
LOL! Do we have the same mom? My mom said she would've named me something like Wolfgang or Torvald if I were born male, if not for my dad ;D

Hehe, weird coincidence. If I was born male, I would've been Tristan or Brennen, but mom saw this as an opportunity to use the names she couldn't before because she feared I'd be bullied.

Of course, her favourite names for me as a girl were all gender neutral - Taylor, Jordan, Parker - except for the one she actually chose, which is so female it doesn't even have a male variant. Lucky me. *sigh*
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Lee11

I changed my name from Karen to Leigh many years ago through choice. Since it is a kind of androgynous name I didn't feel the need to change it again when I followed my true gender orientation.......I think another name change would be too confusing for everyone including myself, lol....
I am a writer for several bodybuilding/ fitness and doctors websites and diet/supplement consultant.
I am also a personal assistant to a, Registered Dietician and Certified Diabetes Educator.

Through my work and experience I want to be able to help the transgender community
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Marcelo Caetano

I still can't understand how can be so easy to change name in US, and so hard here in Brazil.
Here, we have a long way to go and only a judge can say if you can change your name and gender after like 5 or 7 year of battles, and depending on the judge, you can't and that's the final word.
It really makes me angry!
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Sean

Quote from: Marcelo Caetano on December 30, 2010, 04:53:32 PM
I still can't understand how can be so easy to change name in US, and so hard here in Brazil.
Here, we have a long way to go and only a judge can say if you can change your name and gender after like 5 or 7 year of battles, and depending on the judge, you can't and that's the final word.
It really makes me angry!

In the US, people have the right to change their name as long as it's not to defraud anyone or avoid debts. It is not cheap. But it is fairly "easy" to do.

However, the right to change your NAME is different from the right to change your SEX MARKER. In some states, it is easier, in some it is harder. Some make it virtually impossible. So please realize that while it may seem easy to change names in the United States, it is not particularly cheap to do so, and it doesn't change the sex or gender listed on legal documents. That only happens via another process.
In Soviet Russa, Zero Divides by You!
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Marcelo Caetano

Quote from: Sean on December 30, 2010, 06:03:13 PM
In the US, people have the right to change their name as long as it's not to defraud anyone or avoid debts. It is not cheap. But it is fairly "easy" to do.

However, the right to change your NAME is different from the right to change your SEX MARKER. In some states, it is easier, in some it is harder. Some make it virtually impossible. So please realize that while it may seem easy to change names in the United States, it is not particularly cheap to do so, and it doesn't change the sex or gender listed on legal documents. That only happens via another process.

I know and understand everything you said. I didn't mean to sound offensive or something like that, like you made me think I was. It was absolutely not my intention.
I also know that name and sex change are two different things, but I was just making a comment on how we do here in my country, since here we usually make it as part of the same process, but it was about my country.


I may have some problems to express myself in your language, cause it's not mine, but I try and I hope people can understand me and be cool with what I say.
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Sean

In Soviet Russa, Zero Divides by You!
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Lee

Marcelo, your English is great, so don't worry about it.  (It's a hell of a lot better than my Portuguese!)
I'm sorry to hear that it's difficult to change names there.  You said that it's usually done as part of a gender change, so it makes sense that it'd be harder.  Even so, it's strange that you couldn't do it separately. 
Oh I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love

A blah blog
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,365.0.html
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Tad

So outta respect for the parents I asked for their input a few weeks ago before I sign the legal paperwork and ship off Terrence Daniel. Moms not a huge fan and suggested a few names this morning such as Russell, Randall, Ross, Carter, and Porter (which I could settle for, Porter's okay). Looks like Terrence Daniel might not be it after all. O_o.
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brutallegacy

When I was younger, I went by Eli (the first 3 letters of my female name).  Most of my family still calls me that.  If I was born a boy, my mom was going to name me Isaac.  That doesn't suit me at all.

I've decided to change my name to Aarden.  It's obscure, but has an important meaning to me.  It's Germanic and means earthen or from the soil.  It took a while for me to decide that, about a year, but it did immediately fit me.  My middle name will probably be Jeremy, but I'm somewhat undecided. 

The only embarrassment that stems from it is constantly having to switch back and forth between Aarden and my female name since I'm not out with everybody.  I'm always worried about slipping up and having an awkward situation on my hands.
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LordKAT

QuoteThe only embarrassment that stems from it is constantly having to switch back and forth between Aarden and my female name since I'm not out with everybody.  I'm always worried about slipping up and having an awkward situation on my hands.

Which was the beginning of coming out at work for me.  It was for the best.
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Nero

Quote from: Tad on December 31, 2010, 03:49:16 PM
So outta respect for the parents I asked for their input a few weeks ago before I sign the legal paperwork and ship off Terrence Daniel. Moms not a huge fan and suggested a few names this morning such as Russell, Randall, Ross, Carter, and Porter (which I could settle for, Porter's okay). Looks like Terrence Daniel might not be it after all. O_o.

Hi Tad,
I understand wanting Mom's input. That can mean a lot. But if you've already found something you like, maybe you should keep it.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Tad

Quote from: Forum Admin on December 31, 2010, 04:57:27 PM
Hi Tad,
I understand wanting Mom's input. That can mean a lot. But if you've already found something you like, maybe you should keep it.
Meh Terrence was just the masculinized name of my first name. I'm not epsecially fond of it, I jsut chose it for easyness sakes, However it also causes alot of poeple to slip up into my old birth name since it's so very similar. So if mom wants to pick a new first name, all the power to her. Daniel was the name I acutally spent time thinking about so I'll likely go with it for middle.

hehehe mom just suggested Jayden and Joel. Where does she get these crazy names from.
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M.Grimm

A little less than a year after puberty struck, I started using a masculine variation of my first name, as a nickname. It was difficult to get people to use it, but I stuck with it off and on until I moved out and started working. I tried there as well but people insisted on using my legal name. When I got online, it was my go-to name until the first time I 'outed' myself to people who assumed I was male (a horrible experience, I won't go into it here). I went back to it again once I got away from those people. So when it came time to officially change my name, there was no question as to what I'd be using; it was a name I'd identified with for most of my life, even if other people didn't identify it with ME.

Having people use it now, and having it be my real, true, legal name... it just felt like I was finally being recognized.
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JaceColton

I had been going by the shortened androgynous version of my real name for years before I started transitioning. I decided to pick a first name that was fairly close to that. And then I picked a middle name that I really liked and that would have some flexibility as time went on, just in case I decided I wanted to stray from using my first name. But I have to say the minute I said the names together - I just knew. Jace Colton, that's me  - even my friends agree it was a perfect fit. I spent a good bit of time trying to pick my new name, ironically I get called all sorts of variations, like Jason or Chase. I find I spend more time spelling it for people than saying it :D

Oh - And I wanted to say hi! I'm a newcomer to the site and am looking forward to getting to know everyone.

-Jace

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13 more posts 'til I can put my picture up!!!    :D
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spacepilot

I'm actually in that stage of name-choosing right now! I'm stuck between either Elijah or Jamie. Elijah because the "E" sound is something I identify with in relation to what I've always been called, and Jamie because it's sort of androgynous and is similar in syllable/end sound to my current name. I've also considered using my middle name "Lauren" because it's applicable to both genders and would be an easier switch for my parents... but it doesn't feel anything like "me" so it's pretty much out.

I want to make sure that my name is something that makes my ears prick up when I even think I'm hearing someone say it... if that makes sense.
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Kitpup

As far as I can tell I made 'kitian' up completely. I've gone by 'Kit' online for years and having any name that let me keep that was perfect. All of the ones I found were feminine, so I just made one up. My last name (lon Faolan) is composite, 'lon' being a french name meaning 'lion' and 'faolan' being an irish name meaning 'little wolf'. I'm going to have 'kelem' as my middle name, it's basque. I'd rather reflect my heritage than my specific families in my name.
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Lord of the Dance

I'm awful with names, I go through them like candy! There's a few that I like, but I'm pretty afraid of picking one because I'm mostly worried about it suiting me, my parents/friends/family not liking it, stuff like that. Then there's the fact that this is my second name change and I am absolutely dreading having to tell everybody (especially my college) that I'm changing it AGAIN, especially after all the hoo-hah over persuading them to change the name on my certificate...

I'm trying to get my family in on the whole thing, because I figure that if it's a name they're going to have to call me for the rest of our lives, it should be one they're as comfortable as possible with initially. None of us have had much luck so far, the spectrum of names is really quite small when you're as fussy as we are ::)


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Everyone

Quote from: hyenateeth on January 15, 2011, 03:50:33 AM
I'm awful with names, I go through them like candy! There's a few that I like, but I'm pretty afraid of picking one because I'm mostly worried about it suiting me, my parents/friends/family not liking it, stuff like that. Then there's the fact that this is my second name change and I am absolutely dreading having to tell everybody (especially my college) that I'm changing it AGAIN, especially after all the hoo-hah over persuading them to change the name on my certificate...

I'm trying to get my family in on the whole thing, because I figure that if it's a name they're going to have to call me for the rest of our lives, it should be one they're as comfortable as possible with initially. None of us have had much luck so far, the spectrum of names is really quite small when you're as fussy as we are ::)

lol wow you sound just like me. I haven't gone through any name changes though, but I'm so worried of what my friends will think. More so, it's one friend. All of my friends will be fine with what I pick, I'm sure of it. The same with my family. But I'm pretty sure with a lot of names I come up with, my best friend will say something like "That would be weird, I know someone with that name already.". I hate changing my name XD And I hate finding names.
"If I have sex while I'm pregnant, will my baby get pregnant too?" - Yahoo! Answers question
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Lord of the Dance

Quote from: Everyone on January 15, 2011, 03:58:14 AM
lol wow you sound just like me. I haven't gone through any name changes though, but I'm so worried of what my friends will think. More so, it's one friend. All of my friends will be fine with what I pick, I'm sure of it. The same with my family. But I'm pretty sure with a lot of names I come up with, my best friend will say something like "That would be weird, I know someone with that name already.". I hate changing my name XD And I hate finding names.
Haha, exactly! All the best names are taken. :P I know about five different Matthews, for example (it was my father's name too, so I'm a bit iffy — I'd rather prefer a name that is my own). I do rather like Lee's suggestion in the other thread about having people shout names at you until one feels right! If you're not too shy, perhaps you could upload a photograph and get some suggestions? ;)

At the end of the day, people will get used to your name, with time. You're the one that has to live with it, after all, and as long as you're comfortable with it then that's the most important thing (although that's easier said than done!) :]


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Nathan.

It didn't take me long to find my name, from the start I was only really going to either go for Nathan or Ryan. I felt as my mum helped name me the first time she should have some imput so we both looked on baby name sites and picked a few we liked and in the end mum and I felt like Nathan fit me.

If I were a cis guy I'd be called Joseph which doesn't fit me at all, i'm glad I got to choose my name.
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