This is the 2nd trans guy I've seen at my work.  Whenever I'm around another trans guy I feel like less of a guy. I feel their more manlyier than me.

Has anyone else felt like this around other trans guys or it is just me?

I don't believe you are alone whatsoever.

I'm pretty sure most all men at some point have been around other men who were more masculine, and it may have caused them to question their own masculinity.

Life is not a contest about who is more masculine.  Just be yourself.  We are all guys. 

Even bringing up the trans thing is you throwing an unnecessary wrench into it.  I have met a trans guy who was pretty damn scary to me, like a biker type.  Does that mean he is doubly awesome because he is trans and also really butch?   Am I less of a cis man because a trans man out-masculined me?   Would I like to be butcher like that guy?  A little, quite honestly.  It is human nature. 

It is ok to be who you are.  It is ok to sometimes want to be something else.

But it would not serve me well to spend a lot of time wishing to be more like this biker guy.  I admire him for who he is, and I admire me for who I am. 

Embrace your brotherhood, it is a pretty wonderful feeling.

You are not alone.  At least with other men in general.  I feel that way too when I'm around another guy that I like.  If I don't like them or don't care than it doesn't matter to me.  The problem comes in when I want them to like me.  I feel like I have to go way out of my way to prove myself as a man. 

Usually that manifests when combined with my insecurities as being blunt and almost rude.  Basically an ->-bleeped-<- which no one wants to be around.  For example, there was this guy that I really like.  We have a lot in common and I would like to be his friend.  Well he recently found out I was trans and it bewildered him but he hasn't been treating me differently.  I'm the one who is acting differently unfortunately.  He liked me before as a guy and he will like me again as a guy if I am not afraid to just be myself.  Which is scary and hard actually.  What a mess.    

My concern is actually the opposite: I get worried about meeting trans guys who don't pass well.

I don't want to treat them different from any other guy, and I certainly don't want to use the wrong pronouns by accident.

If a trans guy is more 'manly' or passing well, it's easy for me.

Yes, I understand that. Even in the virtual world, when I was first exploring my gender and I saw so many very masculine transguys, I was jealous and intimidated. I felt like I couldn't be as male as them, not just in temperament, but because so many of them had naturally high T levels - mine are totally normal for a bio-female. Then, in real life - my ex is trans. He was passing before he came out, he builds muscle very quickly and essentially went through male puberty, voice drop included, because of his T levels. That masculinity made me really envious at first... I adjusted in the end, though. Even though he looks bio-male in my eyes, and I still look really female at times, he has his own concerns. We all have insecurities, regardless of how masculine we appear.

Seeing other transguys and feeling less manly is the very reason I completely avoid the "Do I Pass?" thread. I see guys that look just like that: guys. And it hurts to see them being picked apart about the things that make them fail to appear as men, because I know just how bad I would probably fail, and when I am presenting as male, I feel that I pass rather adequately. Even though you guys seek advice on how to be more passable, I could never do it.
"These guys obviously pass better than I do, why does everyone seem to find ways that they fail anyway?"
I guess it makes me self conscious and hyper aware of any faults I may have.

Usually it's biomales that out-man me.

But really that's something to get over, it's not a big deal. The transguys I've met so far have all been pretty cool and I've been pretty comfortable with them because of that.

Just don't be so nervous all the time, hell, I look like a 14 year old but I still get taken seriously enough. As long as you aren't in some sort of actual competition I guess. Casual social relationships aren't too focused on your build/appearance.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on December 22, 2010, 05:34:57 PM
This is the 2nd trans guy I've seen at my work.  Whenever I'm around another trans guy I feel like less of a guy. I feel their more manlyier than me.

Has anyone else felt like this around other trans guys or it is just me?

I feel the same, only because my trans friend is straight and he looks sounds acts like a bio-male. He's pre-t, but no one believes that he's a transguy. A lot of ppl think he's mtf when he says hes trans. He has very masculine features, a deep voice, hes pretty hairy, he's about 5'8" and has big hands and feet. Im jealous :/

Quote from: Dominick_81 on December 22, 2010, 05:34:57 PM
This is the 2nd trans guy I've seen at my work.  Whenever I'm around another trans guy I feel like less of a guy. I feel their more manlyier than me.

Has anyone else felt like this around other trans guys or it is just me?


Just be yourself man.......All of my male friends are straight and I am more manlyier than most of them(bigger...stronger).  I get hit on by gay men all of the time.....total turn on.  It's all about self confidence.......having pride in yourself. 

nope.

Then again I haven't been around many trans guys that I knew were trans guys.

***pokes her nose into the thred***
I feel like that when I am around a beautiful transwoman.
It is just our insecurities surfacing. Not a pretty thing but it is what it is. Just work on it as well as you can.

depends what your definition of manly is? Lots of muscle? Lots of hair? Being bald? being confident? opening doors for women?

Around trans guys I don't feel out manned, cept I get jealous of the fact they have actual T running through their bodies :/. However if the clothes were to come off.. I would definately feel rather beat down in comparison them, because once it comes down to it I have a rather fem body under the clothes.

But the again if we aren't scaling on looks, but attributes, everyones different. I know girls that often act more manly then me, and I know bio guys that I am way more manly then.

Hi Dominick

I'm totally agree with bearded, just enjoy your manhood, it's not a competition you know.
Same thing with MTF, there are always girls who would be nicer, prettier, better voices and so on but that's not important, it's the way you feel and present yourselve.
so, don't compare, just be who you are and most important...be happy with who you are.

hugs
annette

Thanks for the replies.

Yeah, confidence is something I gota work on around other trans guys. But once I start T and start looking and passing as a guy I'll have more confidence.

I used to around the transguys I knew because they'd all been on T for at least a year before I started. It wasn't until I started branching out more that I realized there is always going to be someone 'further' along in transition and someone who 'hasn't come as far' (of course we don't all go the same route, the race is purely in our heads)

I agree I with one of the above posts where it's usually the bio guys that I feel out man me.I have never felt like that with other Transguys. I am a pretty manly guy and can be somewhat macho so it's usually me feeling more manly than them.

Constantly comparing yourself with other people is really a lousy way to go though life.

Quote from: tekla on January 07, 2011, 03:20:12 AM
Constantly comparing yourself with other people is really a lousy way to go though life.

ummm no
It is a standard issue state of humanity.
If we do not at least fit in to some extant we are othered worse than we already are.
Comparing and judging is normal, human and part of the system.

Quote from: Yakshini on December 23, 2010, 01:42:33 AM
Seeing other transguys and feeling less manly is the very reason I completely avoid the "Do I Pass?" thread. I see guys that look just like that: guys. And it hurts to see them being picked apart about the things that make them fail to appear as men, because I know just how bad I would probably fail, and when I am presenting as male, I feel that I pass rather adequately. Even though you guys seek advice on how to be more passable, I could never do it.
"These guys obviously pass better than I do, why does everyone seem to find ways that they fail anyway?"
I guess it makes me self conscious and hyper aware of any faults I may have.

I feel the same way...veiwing that thread makes me super self conscious and then kinda depressed bc I don't pass...

I try not to compare myself, but sometimes I just can't help it.
I don't know any other trans guys, so I don't compare to them, but I sure compare myself with cis guys.
And it makes me feel really dysphoric, like I'll never be manly enough like them
But I just try to focus on something else.