Okay so I'm pretty much full time. Like I wear makeup everyday, I'm seen as female by people I don't know. When I meet someone it's Hi I'm Britney. But no one I know calls me Britney or she. I usually don't mind unless they say something to a stranger that will give me away which always happens but I just feel so stupid trying to present as female, how I have always felt, and nobody even sees me. I just feel like no one takes into consideration how I feel. I understand my sisters because my parents don't support me, it's a sticky situation at home, but my bestie doesn't/can't do it. I've talked to her a few times about it and she said she tries but she doesn't realize it and she doesn't feel like she's talking about me when she say's she/Britney. Even though she knows I'm a girl. I don't know how much longer I can do this, it makes me feel so stupid.

This is just the beginning, you need to give them time to sort out the confusion.  It will take at least a year before they'll actually let it sink in that you are a girl. Don't force it too much, just let them get used to the new you and everything else will follow.

Are you on HRT yet?

Quote from: KillBelle on December 31, 2010, 07:42:26 PM
This is just the beginning, you need to give them time to sort out the confusion.  It will take at least a year before they'll actually let it sink in that you are a girl. Don't force it too much, just let them get used to the new you and everything else will follow.

Are you on HRT yet?

I've been on hormones for 3 months today. But looking at you I don't see the point lol.

Dear Britney

You present female well, in fact I would like to submit that you are female already.  One of the constant and saddest issues I seem to be learning is that people in general judge your gender by the genitals.
Now parents and close friends, lovers etc from your life before beginning Transition may find it hard or even impossible to get over the hurdle of pronouns for quite sometime when we start.  But we can hope that eventually they do find it in themselves to re evaluate the difficulty of simply saying her, Miss, or your female name.

The way I would judge your passing is how strangers perceive you how you are taken and excepted as female outside of your home.

Also a quote for you to remember is. "To thine own self be true" William Shakespeare.  Inside yourself you know you are a woman. So be a woman shine bright and don't let a pronoun get you down. Either your friends and loved ones will get past it or they won't.

But you know who you are what you are.

Hugs
Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 31, 2010, 07:48:34 PM
Dear Britney

You present female well, in fact I would like to submit that you are female already.  One of the constant and saddest issues I seem to be learning is that people in general judge your gender by the genitals.
Now parents and close friends, lovers etc from your life before beginning Transition may find it hard or even impossible to get over the hurdle of pronouns for quite sometime when we start.  But we can hope that eventually they do find it in themselves to re evaluate the difficulty of simply saying her, Miss, or your female name.

The way I would judge your passing is how strangers perceive you how you are taken and excepted as female outside of your home.

Also a quote for you to remember is. "To thine own self be true" William Shakespeare.  Inside yourself you know you are a woman. So be a woman shine bright and don't let a pronoun get you down. Either your friends and loved ones will get past it or they won't.

But you know who you are what you are.

Hugs
Simone

omg thank you. I'm gonna cry haha. I still just feel kinda stupid being around people and I'm trying and trying and it's like no one sees me.

Girl i've been on hormones for over 5 years, and i will honestly tell you that it will be hard- but it will be SO much fun as well. But you have the canvas, you are young, you are pretty, you have your whole life (and your 20s) ahead of you so dont let some misconceptions get you down. Live life as a girl now, go do girly things, dance around your bedroom in your panties, dress like a victoria's secret model, sing in the shower at the top of your lungs, wear the sexiest skankiest cocktail dress, do it and do it proud.

If you sit around brooding and worry about the small stuff you will forget your reasons for transitioning in the first place, which is...to have fun and be YOURSELF. once you are comfortable in your own skin, everyone else will follow. Trust me you will do well...dont underestimate the hormones + age girl. Youve got it made!!!

Hey you, the thing is, for a long time the people who were close to you pre transition will struggle to come to terms with how you're changing in front of them. Even the most supportive people will find things hard and slip up. Don't let things like this get you down...it does get better. It'll take a bit of time but eventually people will find it hard to not call you Britney.

Hell, I went back to my parents for less that 3 days over christmas and by the end of it they were finding it hard to use my old name and male pronouns...they even said this.

You're blinking gorgeous hun, and practically full time already, just take the plunge and go for it.

my last hair cut I shaved it all off.
So I will have to wait for a longtime before I get the chance to look as natural as you do Britney.
I was the self punishing sort not in a cutting way or drastic like that. But I typically didn't care much for myself or my looks as a man.  Each time I looked in the mirror I saw a man and it was simply bleh. I had one mirror in the house that was in my washroom. Only because I needed it.

Since coming out to myself and others I have 2  mirrors in my bedroom 1 on the bathroom one on the back of my front door.
When I dress I love to check myself.  I am not on HRT yet but I can see that inside is a woman is dieing to get out.  So knowing that and knowing that inside I am a woman. Makes things better.
I hope you find it better as well. After all 3 months ago, 6 months ago. a year ago Etc. Were you happier then you are now?  I doubt it somehow, I know I wasn't.

Hugs Simone

I've noticed it is the friends and family who see us more often that have the most trouble seeing the changes. New people take us at face value. I get mam'ed in boy mode sometimes, but not one of the people I have known the longest have made even the smallest mention about any changes in my appearance. They have trouble seeing it. Looking at the pictures you have posted, I would never call you anything but she or Britney.

Quote from: KillBelle on December 31, 2010, 07:59:44 PM
Girl i've been on hormones for over 5 years, and i will honestly tell you that it will be hard- but it will be SO much fun as well. But you have the canvas, you are young, you are pretty, you have your whole life (and your 20s) ahead of you so dont let some misconceptions get you down. Live life as a girl now, go do girly things, dance around your bedroom in your panties, dress like a victoria's secret model, sing in the shower at the top of your lungs, wear the sexiest skankiest cocktail dress, do it and do it proud.

If you sit around brooding and worry about the small stuff you will forget your reasons for transitioning in the first place, which is...to have fun and be YOURSELF. once you are comfortable in your own skin, everyone else will follow. Trust me you will do well...dont underestimate the hormones + age girl. Youve got it made!!!

Thanks a bunch. I know I'm doing this for all the right reasons. I just need to get my head around things sometimes.

Quote from: Helena on December 31, 2010, 08:04:35 PM
Hey you, the thing is, for a long time the people who were close to you pre transition will struggle to come to terms with how you're changing in front of them. Even the most supportive people will find things hard and slip up. Don't let things like this get you down...it does get better. It'll take a bit of time but eventually people will find it hard to not call you Britney.

Hell, I went back to my parents for less that 3 days over christmas and by the end of it they were finding it hard to use my old name and male pronouns...they even said this.

You're blinking gorgeous hun, and practically full time already, just take the plunge and go for it.

Wanna trade parents? I know it takes time, but I just feel stupid wearing makeup and trying to get the world to see the girl that's been hidden my whole life, but then people that I know and love act like nothings happening. I just feel kinda weird.

Quote from: Simone V on December 31, 2010, 08:04:45 PM
my last hair cut I shaved it all off.
So I will have to wait for a longtime before I get the chance to look as natural as you do Britney.
I was the self punishing sort not in a cutting way or drastic like that. But I typically didn't care much for myself or my looks as a man.  Each time I looked in the mirror I saw a man and it was simply bleh. I had one mirror in the house that was in my washroom. Only because I needed it.

Since coming out to myself and others I have 2  mirrors in my bedroom 1 on the bathroom one on the back of my front door.
When I dress I love to check myself.  I am not on HRT yet but I can see that inside is a woman is dieing to get out.  So knowing that and knowing that inside I am a woman. Makes things better.
I hope you find it better as well. After all 3 months ago, 6 months ago. a year ago Etc. Were you happier then you are now?  I doubt it somehow, I know I wasn't.

Hugs Simone

I'm happier than I have ever been, even my best friend will tell you that. This is all worth it.




Maybe I should explain, I'm kinda in a rough patch with my best friend right now, and I'm supposed to be going to her house for new years eve. I went over earlier and got my script (her dad buys it for me cheap) and came home so she could get ready or something. I just realized how many people are going to see me and call me michael and I couldn't bare the thought of walking into her house with a full face of makeup, these stupid earrings and my little boobs and wanting, dying for them not to call me Michael. I came home and washed my face off and it took all I had to not take my earrings out cuz they aren't healed yet. I don't know why I'm in such a down mood, maybe because of the stuff with my friend. It'll all work out I guess.

What should I do if say I'm out with her, dressed female etc and she suddenly calls me Michael or he? Happens about everytime we go out. She just outed me to whoever heard us. It's scary and makes me feel crappy.

Quote from: Melody on December 31, 2010, 08:06:54 PM
I've noticed it is the friends and family who see us more often that have the most trouble seeing the changes. New people take us at face value. I get mam'ed in boy mode sometimes, but not one of the people I have known the longest have made even the smallest mention about any changes in my appearance. They have trouble seeing it. Looking at the pictures you have posted, I would never call you anything but she or Britney.

Thanks Melody. Sounds like we're in the same boat together. <3

So far out of the amazing amount of IRL friends I have(thats 4), only one has accepted me and correctly used pronouns and name.  The others looked at me weird or just kind of ignored what I said and pretty much gave me the most awkward feeling I've felt in the longest time.  So you're not alone Britney, I offer you my support and *hugs.*  Look forward to this new year as being a GREAT YEAR!!!

Quote from: Rini on December 31, 2010, 08:14:19 PM
So far out of the amazing amount of IRL friends I have(thats 4), only one has accepted me and correctly used pronouns and name.  The others looked at me weird or just kind of ignored what I said and pretty much gave me the most awkward feeling I've felt in the longest time.  So you're not alone Britney, I offer you my support and *hugs.*  Look forward to this new year as being a GREAT YEAR!!!

I have been trying to see it that way all day but I just feel like this year is going to SUCK. But I know it won't. By the end of it I'll have been on hormones for 15 months.

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 31, 2010, 08:12:56 PM
Wanna trade parents? I know it takes time, but I just feel stupid wearing makeup and trying to get the world to see the girl that's been hidden my whole life, but then people that I know and love act like nothings happening. I just feel kinda weird.

Maybe I should explain, I'm kinda in a rough patch with my best friend right now, and I'm supposed to be going to her house for new years eve. I went over earlier and got my script (her dad buys it for me cheap) and came home so she could get ready or something. I just realized how many people are going to see me and call me michael and I couldn't bare the thought of walking into her house with a full face of makeup, these stupid earrings and my little boobs and wanting, dying for them not to call me Michael. I came home and washed my face off and it took all I had to not take my earrings out cuz they aren't healed yet. I don't know why I'm in such a down mood, maybe because of the stuff with my friend. It'll all work out I guess.

Hey hun...hugs. What you should do is take a leaf from punk and not give a flying f*** what other people think. it's not easy, you will get teary more than once (trust me, i know), but just stick two lovingly manicured and nail varnished fingers up at the bits of the world that don't get it and say "This is who I am, and I will not apologise for being me!" cos dammit I can't see anything male in you.

now give me a high five and i'll save some of this bottle of wine i'm drinking for you.

Quote from: Helena on December 31, 2010, 08:23:28 PM
Hey hun...hugs. What you should do is take a leaf from punk and not give a flying f*** what other people think. it's not easy, you will get teary more than once (trust me, i know), but just stick two lovingly manicured and nail varnished fingers up at the bits of the world that don't get it and say "This is who I am, and I will not apologise for being me!" cos dammit I can't see anything male in you.

now give me a high five and i'll save some of this bottle of wine i'm drinking for you.

Now I'm crying. :') I don't know what I'd do without everyone at susans. And some wine sounds amazing right now.

i'm in the same predicament. for the most part, i present myself the way i want to (female.) even though i may look feminine in appearance, personality, mannerisms, etc etc, people who already know me still think of me as a male. there's a certain bias people have with gender, and that's why i think the two gender system just needs to be erased, and judge people each individually. that's why this is such an obstacle, and the reason why we have to give a five paragraph essay to every single person who knew us before. they measure us against the male gender pyramid, but why do we need to live up to this gender system. can't we just be individuals? unfortunately, explaining it to people is quite necessary if we can hope for them to treat us as the way we want to be treated in this world.

Quote from: xxUltraModLadyxx on December 31, 2010, 08:30:32 PM
i'm in the same predicament. for the most part, i present myself the way i want to (female.) even though i may look feminine in appearance, personality, mannerisms, etc etc, people who already know me still think of me as a male. there's a certain bias people have with gender, and that's why i think the two gender system just needs to be erased, and judge people each individually. that's why this is such an obstacle, and the reason why we have to give a five paragraph essay to every single person who knew us before. they measure us against the male gender pyramid, but why do we need to live up to this gender system. can't we just be individuals? unfortunately, explaining it to people is quite necessary if we can hope for them to treat us as the way we want to be treated in this world.

I agree <3

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 31, 2010, 08:27:12 PM
Now I'm crying. :') I don't know what I'd do without everyone at susans. And some wine sounds amazing right now.

hope red's ok...i've got some cider in the fridge as well and some mean home made cherry vodka in the cupboard 

Quote from: Helena on December 31, 2010, 08:23:28 PM
Hey hun...hugs. What you should do is take a leaf from punk and not give a flying f*** what other people think. it's not easy, you will get teary more than once (trust me, i know), but just stick two lovingly manicured and nail varnished fingers up at the bits of the world that don't get it and say "This is who I am, and I will not apologise for being me!" cos dammit I can't see anything male in you.

now give me a high five and i'll save some of this bottle of wine i'm drinking for you.

What a brilliant IDEA! A bottle of wine long stem glasses a good movie and the company of people that are in the same shoes.

Where when? 

by the way Hellena even your depressed pictures are cute. I object! from now on you must stay below 9.5 on the cutness scale of 1-10!


Britney Seems like you have all the support you need right here, plus you are going to a group meeting Monday?
With a start like that you can't have a bad year.

Quote from: Helena on December 31, 2010, 08:37:26 PM
hope red's ok...i've got some cider in the fridge as well and some mean home made cherry vodka in the cupboard 

I'll take whatever can get me drunk. Preferably a cosmo but I'm not picky.

Quote from: Simone V on December 31, 2010, 08:39:26 PM
What a brilliant IDEA! A bottle of wine long stem glasses a good movie and the company of people that are in the same shoes.

Where when? 

by the way Hellena even your depressed pictures are cute. I object! from now on you must stay below 9.5 on the cutness scale of 1-10!


Britney Seems like you have all the support you need right here, plus you are going to a group meeting Monday?
With a start like that you can't have a bad year.

Well it's an intake session or whatever. Not really sure but after that I'll be able to go to the monthly meetings. I'm scared as hell but I know it'll be amazing in the long run.

Quote from: Simone V on December 31, 2010, 08:39:26 PM
by the way Hellena even your depressed pictures are cute. I object! from now on you must stay below 9.5 on the cutness scale of 1-10!

Janet actually thinks I'm far too cute to be human...little does she know she's right, I'm actually from the Planet Kawaii in the outer spiral of the galaxy...we're actually fourth rock out from our binary sun system. we invented japan and hello kitty to soften up the planet for imminent cutification. Actually, by the standards back on Kawaii I am actual consider hideously plain and normal...i went through a rigorous de-cutefying program so that i could blend in and complete my scouting mission. the problem is i have become some what partial to the truth serum you call red wine. In order for me not to be punished in the most terrible ways you must forget you've ever read this.


but yeah, Britney, in the end we transition for ourselves, not for other people...don't let other peoples definitions of you cage your happiness. Just remember who i more fake.