Since I am getting ready to head to the gym this seemed an apt point to raise....How do you guys out there feel about using the changing rooms in gyms - meaning male v female.
This is my one hurdle since my decision to go F to M.
The staff at the gym are all supportive and a few members know....but I still feel out of place in the women's room and am sure I get strange looks from those who don't know (even though I do shave before I go, lol!)
On the other hand I can't exactly start using the guys room either.
Thoughts/experiences?

In all honesty, I always use disabled toilets when I can. I'm interpreted by 99% of the public as male, so to me it's just a matter of avoiding public toilets when I can, and using disabled ones when I can't.. and if there aren't any, then male changing rooms.

I'm biologically female but considering a physical transition btw, pre-t and pre-op.

i tend to drive there in my kit then drive home and have a shower. The few times i have used the changing rooms its had to be the female cos with the size of my chest id never pass in the males and i cant bind when exercising

 I avoid the locker room. Do what is mentioned above, shower at home. Before that I went according to what my ID said so until I changed that and my gym membership to Male I used (on occasion) the women's locker room. I would walk in look straight ahead, put my stuff in the closest locker or walk straight to the restroom, then get out of there. I was just as uncomfortable as the ladies in the locker room were with me in there. I used this rule for the restroom (public) also as my ID is what would "prove" my gender to whoever asked.
Myles

I just head straight into the guys change rooms, no second thought. Guys don't tend to look at each other in the change rooms (bad etiquette) so I don't have any one staring me down and evaluating that my fat distribution is a bit more girly then the average guys. That being said I don't strip neked. I wear boxers or pack with other underwear like briefs. And I wear my comrpession shirt that looks like a tank top if I'm going to be changing my shirt, and then do the shirt change over rather quickly facing away from other people in the lockers.

Havent had any issues yet.

This is something I have grappled with. I think the context and environment is everything. It depends on the layout - how separate areas are, for example. And it depends on if you are stealth or not.

In my opinion, you shouldn't use the women's change room. You don't belong there - it's not fair to the women there. Whether you should use the men's room is really about your own comfort and the legal rights where you live. Eventually, you *should* be using the men's room, but I can understand not feeling comfortable doing so in a place you've been for a long time before transitioning and people know you.

For many years, I have used men's locker-rooms when I play hockey. Normally, the shower/bathroom area is separate from the changing area, so while I may use the bathroom before playing, I do not use or go into the shower/bathroom area afterwards. So I change to the extent I feel comfortable in the locker-room (not stripping all the way), and I don't care if there are men who are unclothed near me. My experience is that no one really cared even when I was viewed as female! Those who were more modest had alternatives (such as changing undergarments in the other area or under a towel) and some were more modest in general, no matter who was around.

Someday, I would like to be able to use the shower area too, after I have top surgery. I don't think that will ever happen for me at a place where I already have friends and am known, though. I don't think I'd ever be comfortable and I think other people who are otherwise cool with me would feel weird too. I dunno. I've managed with showering at home after for years, so it's not the biggest deal.

Basically, I think you should figure out why you feel like you can't use the men's room. Is it because you don't have privacy to fully strip? Could you use a stall or towel to do so? Is it because you think the other men are uncomfortable with it? I think this is one area that you'll just get used to doing, once it's not "weird" anymore, same as people have to get used to using men's bathrooms too.

Interesting this topic came up... I've been struggling with this recently as I've just joined a gym.

Sean - I don't use the men's room because I only pass about half of the time, simple as that. I'm out to very few people at this point, not on T, and nervous about people staring at me for being in the wrong place (this will happen either way but less in the women's I imagine )

I plan to start using the men's once I'm passing on a regular basis. But I have to say I feel awkward as hell in the women's -- I usually go in there very briefly just to put a few things in the locker. People definitely look at me and, personally, it feels wrong to me. Like I imagine a bio-guy would feel if he stumbled into the women's room on accident. In any case I hope to start my transition sometime soon and put this all to rest, I just hate this feeling of being in-between. I've been trying to keep it under control but my gender dysphoria gets bad when I'm there, seeing all these macho dudes and feminine women I just feel so out of place.

Quote from: Sean on January 02, 2011, 05:08:38 PM
In my opinion, you shouldn't use the women's change room. You don't belong there - it's not fair to the women there.

I'm with Tad on this one & what I quoted above is how I feel. Had to use the womens changing room at work twice a day every day that I worked until I could start T (quit before I did) & it sucked. The women in the same aisle as me eventually knew my situation and had my back but for the rest, I hated making them uncomfortable. If I join a gym I am using the mens locker room. If that gym isn't okay with it then I'll take my business elsewhere. If you're out to them have you tried discussing switching locker rooms or considered changing to a gym and starting over? It's all up to you man.

Thanks for all the viewpoints here....

I shower at home so that isn't an issue and I am pretty much ready to roll when I get to the gym...all I have to do is whip off my jeans and jacket...so really it's down to just feeling out of place in the women's room. Being a 'known face' because of my writing work doesn't help.

Most of my friends think I should just carry on using the women's room because I am am biological female still and ->-bleeped-<- what other people think...

I guess it is down to my own comfort level. I may be older than most folk here but I only made my real transition recently so I guess this is just stuff you deal with along the way....

it's down to passaibility and comfort level. My face passes so I fgure what the heck. I don't belong in the womens, I hate going in there. Ima use the males changeroom - I'm already using the male bathrooms.. so I figured I had better be using the male changerooms too. After the first time using a males only area, I never once went back to the womens. The first trip gave me the confidence I needed, and now it's natural. I know I have a chance of running into people that know me but that I didn't bother coming out to because they weren't that close/part of my life, a very high chance in some places, but I'll hit that hurdle once it comes. I made the switch about... 2 months after the start of the coming out process.

Granted if my face didn't pass I'd be a bit more hesitant. I figure facial passing and confidence is what it allows me to comfortably use the changerooms - even stripping down to my binder and undies. I stil worry from time to time that my body fat distribution might give me away.. but then lots of bio guys had odd distributions as well.

I belong to a small cheap gym that is basically a weight room, male and female toilet only rooms and two changing rooms outside the toilets.

So it's an easy enough decision for me regarding the changing room.  There are no showers so I don't have to worry about that.  I do use the male bathroom and that's a little bit of a problem as my name is still female in the computer.  So the many personal trainers who work there see as female and might get uncomfortable if they saw me in the bathroom.  Not much I can do about it until I legally change  my name.     

I think since people there already know you you will have to check out everyones comfort level, since it will affect your comfort level in the end. Definitely a different situation as they know you. At some point they will probably not want you in there and you will definitely not want to be in there. I went to a big industrial gym where no one knows anyone.
Your definitely not old! I transitioned  (finished last year) at 40.
Cheers
Myles

Quote from: myles on January 02, 2011, 09:00:55 PM
I think since people there already know you you will have to check out everyones comfort level, since it will affect your comfort level in the end. Definitely a different situation as they know you. At some point they will probably not want you in there and you will definitely not want to be in there. I went to a big industrial gym where no one knows anyone.
Your definitely not old! I transitioned  (finished last year) at 40.
Cheers
Myles

Thank you for this...you made some valid points...and thanks for the age remark!

I just walk to the gym in my gym clothes, walk back home and take a shower. That's how I've always done it when given the choice. I'm just horribly uncomfortable in women's locker rooms. And now that I pass but only with clothes on, I imagine either locker room would be uncomfortable.

When I didn't have a choice (e.g. school PE class that required uniforms, swimming) I always changed in a bathroom or shower stall. I've done that since in a men's bathroom for swimming.

If everyone there knows you, you may have to go through a period of not using locker rooms until you're certain the guys there see you indisputably as a guy.

If everyone there knows you, you may have to go through a period of not using locker rooms until you're certain the guys there see you indisputably as a guy.
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I get you on this...I am lucky ... I know everyone who works there. My friend has an airbrush tanning room upstairs so it did cross my mind to ask to change there instead.....
What this really boils down to is just not feeling comfortable in the female changing rooms any more. My friends don't fully understand this. which I don't blame them for because they are ok with their assigned sex. That's why I asked you guys because you 'get' the discomfort concept....although I have to say one friend said last night 'You're a guy...use the guys room'. when I asked for her for input...gotta love her for that!