With T coming up in the next month or so.... I'm having T fears. I'm excited for fat distribution, boob shrinkage, muscle gain, growth down there, stopping of menestration, voice droppage, sideburn growage, more hair on the legs, happy trail, places like that
Changes I could really care less about either way - full facial hair, Shaving is a tiresome act but whatever - part of life.

But then.. there are a few changes that I'm scared off. See I like my face. I like how it looks. I'm scared that T is going to change it, not just a little, but a lot, and that it will change it into something horrendously I don't know what. i guess I like my cute look, and picturing my jaw and chin getting even wider.. I donno I end up picturing something monstrously huge that makes me.. I donno, no longer good looking.

I don't have any genetic relatives, so no hints there. And I know there is no real answers to this question. Just wondered if anyone else felt similar coming up to their T. Likely not, I admit it's a weird fear, but I've grown rather fond of the guy that stares me back in the mirror every morning.

Your jaw line will widen and you never know you may like it  ......and as far as the hair growth well that depends on your genetic make up as to how much and how fast.

Quote from: Jet-Ffuel on January 03, 2011, 03:36:33 PM
Your jaw line will may widen and you never know you may like it  ......and as far as the hair growth well that depends on your genetic make up as to how much and how fast.

genetics will play a part in almost all secondary T effects.

I understand dude. I guess what ftm's have to consider is that they are becoming, as much as they can, a male bodied person.. not every man has the hair or the jawline they want, just remember it's about you aligning your body and brain and you can't idolise a male body that you just don't have the genetics for. Even if you had been born male bodied you might still have issues with what you actually got!

But self esteem issues are always going to be there if you already have them, t isn't going to make them just disappear. I guess you just got to try it and see how it makes you feel! Might be a controversial statement - but remember testosterone therapy is something you control - if you don't like how your body is changing you can stop t or lower your dose, it's okay to do that even though you identify as male. You can restart it later... and it's just my opinion but I know transitioning would be all about working towards a body I love and am happy with. I would say always talk to your endo about your t fears, they are supposed to be there to help you. However, I've only heard of one or two transmen actually stopping t, and every one I spoke to loved the changes it brought about it them - even if those changes weren't necessarily what you might typify as attractive, it still in their eyes made them more male, which of course is what they were after.

Imo, my t fears are mainly health problems, I guess. T isn't shown to increase getting cancer or anything like that but I would have to stop smoking (which wouldn't be an issue) and I know it increases rbc count, and could make pre existing orthopaedic issues worse. I'm not an expert but I am learning more everyday. Ooh and baldness. I love my hair! But that's again down to genetics.

its not an issue of self esteem. But I love my face, it's already manly, my body is already rather manly shaped when I'm not packing around the few extra pounds I am atm. Why change a good thing is my main concern. I think I could achieve life long transition and passing without the T (but with surgeries).. so I guess this is a question that is raised.. because I have that option? I mean it's not going to stop me from going on, I just worry about.. turning into some kinda hulk faced dude. hehehe, wouldn't really suit me. 

If you're done growing, T won't change your bones at all.
It won't give you brow ridges or a significantly wider jaw or any such thing that requires bones to change.

Jaw widening seems to happen significantly from what I've seen in most ftm's though. Maybe cuz most of them are young.

But then again, I have no idea if I'm done growing. I have something freakish that happens every year. Over the summer and fall I typically shrink an inch/inch and a half. In the spring I regrow that height. It's been documented happening for 4 or 5 years now. It's weird going from being shorter to then my family to taller then my family through out the year. It hasn't been determined what is causing this, other then a suggesting that it might be spine compression from summer activities.. or could be some kinda freaky growing thing. :/ I am only 22.

But thanks for the reassurance Miniar.

Quote from: Tad on January 03, 2011, 05:13:48 PM
its not an issue of self esteem. But I love my face, it's already manly, my body is already rather manly shaped when I'm not packing around the few extra pounds I am atm. Why change a good thing is my main concern. I think I could achieve life long transition and passing without the T (but with surgeries).. so I guess this is a question that is raised.. because I have that option? I mean it's not going to stop me from going on, I just worry about.. turning into some kinda hulk faced dude. hehehe, wouldn't really suit me.

it's great that you are so lucky to be content with what you have, but also take into account that your body/shape still changes with age, maybe to your disadvantage.... <- pessimist me speaking
i rarely see people who didn't change for the better, so you shouldn't worry too much. usually your facial features should balance out each other, so if you're looking decent to start with i doubt you'll end up hulk-ish^^
what about going slow and subtile via low dose?

Quote from: Tad on January 03, 2011, 05:13:48 PM
its not an issue of self esteem. But I love my face, it's already manly, my body is already rather manly shaped when I'm not packing around the few extra pounds I am atm. Why change a good thing is my main concern. I think I could achieve life long transition and passing without the T (but with surgeries).. so I guess this is a question that is raised.. because I have that option? I mean it's not going to stop me from going on, I just worry about.. turning into some kinda hulk faced dude. hehehe, wouldn't really suit me. 

Yeah I understand. That's great that you pretty much have a male body anyway. But I guess t always helps! I'd just take it as you feel it will help you.. and stop if it makes you into a hulk yeah. Hulking aint good! Best of luck anyway dude

Quote from: VanOcc on January 03, 2011, 04:56:01 PM
testosterone therapy is something you control - if you don't like how your body is changing you can stop t or lower your dose, it's okay to do that even though you identify as male.

Just to clarify: I don't think a lower dose changes what you end up with though it 'may' take longer (and even that seems variable; I noticed no difference in how quickly the changes came in from the lower to the higher dose). You're going to get what's in your genetics. I wouldn't really call testosterone 'controllable' short of the option to go off or not.

Quote from: Tad on January 03, 2011, 03:09:48 PM
With T coming up in the next month or so.... I'm having T fears. I'm excited for fat distribution, boob shrinkage, muscle gain, growth down there, stopping of menestration, voice droppage, sideburn growage, more hair on the legs, happy trail, places like that
Changes I could really care less about either way - full facial hair, Shaving is a tiresome act but whatever - part of life.

But then.. there are a few changes that I'm scared off. See I like my face. I like how it looks. I'm scared that T is going to change it, not just a little, but a lot, and that it will change it into something horrendously I don't know what. i guess I like my cute look, and picturing my jaw and chin getting even wider.. I donno I end up picturing something monstrously huge that makes me.. I donno, no longer good looking.

I don't have any genetic relatives, so no hints there. And I know there is no real answers to this question. Just wondered if anyone else felt similar coming up to their T. Likely not, I admit it's a weird fear, but I've grown rather fond of the guy that stares me back in the mirror every morning.

I can totally related. I'm so scared of getting on T and getting some of these side effects I don't want. Downstairs growth is something I'm NOT looking forward to at all.  About the whole jawline thing.... I wasn't worried about that until now. I knew the face changed, but I couldn't tell exactly what it was that actually changed the  face.  I'm hoping the wider jawline doesn't turn me into something I don't wanna look like either.

I'm also worried about the weight gain and acne. Now I know some guys lose weigh on T and other guys gain weigh. I hope I'm not one of the people that gains weight.... that wouldn't be good.

They said once you start T you can't go back... why is that? I know everything won't revert back to the way it was before.  But will the facial hair keep growing once you stop T?  and will the jawline revert back to how it looked before? Just curious. The only reason I would actually change myself back would be for religious reasons or not liking the way T treating me.

Tad, I had the same exact fears. I also held out some hope that because I was older than a lot of the guys I was looking at that my changes wouldn't be as dramatic. It doesn't seem to have mattered. I don't know if it's the bones, muscles, fat, or what, but something in my face changed a lot (I guess it couldn't be the bones; they're not supposed to do that). It's a lot wider and I suppose I'd call it squarer if I wasn't carrying a few extra which softens the chin a bit. My face is unrecognizable. But it was feminine before. Your face is already masculine, so who knows if that makes a difference?

I did have the scary moment you're describing. There was a point where it was 'morphing' (only possible word) that I didn't like it. It looked weird to me. But then it settled down and looks good now. I'm really starting to like it. But there's a totally different person in the mirror. Takes some getting used to.
But I don't know whether my case is typical.

Quote from: Tad on January 03, 2011, 03:09:48 PM
With T coming up in the next month or so.... I'm having T fears. I'm excited for fat distribution, boob shrinkage, muscle gain, growth down there, stopping of menestration, voice droppage, sideburn growage, more hair on the legs, happy trail, places like that
Changes I could really care less about either way - full facial hair, Shaving is a tiresome act but whatever - part of life.

But then.. there are a few changes that I'm scared off. See I like my face. I like how it looks. I'm scared that T is going to change it, not just a little, but a lot, and that it will change it into something horrendously I don't know what. i guess I like my cute look, and picturing my jaw and chin getting even wider.. I donno I end up picturing something monstrously huge that makes me.. I donno, no longer good looking.

I don't have any genetic relatives, so no hints there. And I know there is no real answers to this question. Just wondered if anyone else felt similar coming up to their T. Likely not, I admit it's a weird fear, but I've grown rather fond of the guy that stares me back in the mirror every morning.

O_o. Though I suppose change could always be for the better too.

Yep. I'm a lot happier. It's really not as big a deal as I thought it would be. (If you're taking T) you just to have to give yourself over to male puberty and develop into a man. It has its moments, but it's all good. I had the same fears as you, but I'm happy with the way it turned out.

If I ever were lucky enough to go on T I'd worry it would make me fat cuz my dad is fat. I'd also worry about its effects on blood pressure and my heart. (My heart is healthy but a few ppl in my family have died from heart attacks so I really want to stay healthy)

As for everthything else I'd be happy with. I'd love to have a beard, love these nasty periods to stop, increase muscle growth and higher sex drive. Everything sounds awesome to me. I probly would not want hairy arms but, I'd live with it if it meant no more periods. Those are the worst and really the only thing I can't handle well.

Quote from: Miniar on January 03, 2011, 05:14:48 PM
If you're done growing, T won't change your bones at all.
It won't give you brow ridges or a significantly wider jaw or any such thing that requires bones to change.

This isn't true, at least not for everyone. I started T at 25 and it made my jaw as well as my shoulders wider. A lot of FTMs also report foot and hand growth.

And I must say that, for me at least, the worst part of going on T is hair loss. My hair is starting to thin at the temples. Gah!

Quote from: trnsboi on January 04, 2011, 04:48:31 AM
This isn't true, at least not for everyone. I started T at 25 and it made my jaw as well as my shoulders wider. A lot of FTMs also report foot and hand growth.

The shoulders can widen quite a bit due to muscle changes, since the shoulders are "loose".
The wider jaw is likely also muscle and fat-redistribution related. (Less poofy cheeks = jawline looks wider/sharper.)

You might be surprised how much you like the changes once you see them.

Honestly, they're quite subtle. When you see before/after pictures they can look dramatic, but if you look closely at pictures taken at the same angle from the same distance, you'll find that the shapes and sizes of things haven't really changed all that much - certainly never on a scale that would make you "freakish." My face looked pretty boyish pre-T, and looks absolutely indisputably male now, but I still look very much like "me" and when comparing pics I'm hard-pressed to identify anything at all different. It's just the same face, but male.

I guess guys with really feminine faces get changes that can look more dramatic, but I think that's mostly because no matter what your face looked like beforehand T will make it look "male," and that change seems more dramatic when the starting point is on the feminine side of female. Guys who've started out looking pretty boyish mostly just start looking a little more adult and attractive.

I didn't see my changes happen. I didn't realize most of 'em had 'till I compared to past images/audio.