Sorry to bump. Maybe you have the answers you want.
Basically, don't wear your binder every day. It's not good for your breast tissue even if you dislike them. Take a break on weekends maybe, or whenever you can wear a hoody and relax, with friends? Try using a sports bra on other days as they do compress but in a more gentle fashion.
If you've got the money, I'd get two or three and rotate, every 5 days or so. Wash in cold/tepid water with a gentle detergent and leave to dry flat on some towels, maybe near a radiator or on a radiator. Tumble drying will work with sports bras that have that on their care instructions, but for the longevity of your binder be gentle with them.
Underworks have good, cost effective binders. T-Kingdom's binders are designed for transmen but customer service and price are issues. I'm not here to promote certain brands or whatever but these are the ones off the top of my head and associated issues.
If your binder doesn't fit well it will be uncomfortable. I wouldn't use talc or powder - get one that fits. Even a comfy binder is going to get uncomfortable after a few hours simply because it's sodding painful having your breast tissue squished.. but hey, it looks better right?

Just remember to give yourself a break.
Hiding your binder is a ball ache. I hear ya dude. Guess that's just part of being stealth. Maybe try and cultivate at atmosphere where your room is your room, you know and it's private. Then you can be safe washing it in the bathroom and leaving it to dry in your room.
Best of luck!