So we were off from work for a week. Since we've returned everybody- and I mean everybody- has been using wrong pronouns. Even people who were usually good about using the correct pronouns.

What happened? Did everybody's brain dissolve over the holidays? What the hell is it going to be like when I return from time off for top surgery? Will I be remembered at all?!

I can't help but think that after six months and little progress this just shows how little the company thinks of me. Before the holidays we had to come out to a new employee that originally knew me as only male. She got confused by hearing conflicting pronoun usage so started calling me "she". A person shouldn't have to go through this.

After the outside people insulting me incident which was blown off by management and never handled, six months of little progress and now nobody trying- screw this place. This sh*thole and all these ignorant rednecks can burn.

I've even been thinking of taking legal action. Everything that's happened so far definitely go into harassment territory. Let this be a warning to anyone out there. If you transition on a job or don't work as stealth at a place you will have problems and will never be taken seriously.

I doubt I'll ever be seen or known as male at a workplace. My retched history will follow me for life. I'll never be seen as who I really am. It's pointless.

Dont know what i can say to try and make you feel better- i'm transitioning in a job ive been in ten years and while everyone is being really friendly and encouragin they still refer to me as female. I sometimes think it would be easier if we could walk out the door one night as our female self and walk back in the next day as totally transitioned. I would say give it time but after 6 months you'd have thought they'd have got the hint by now. Is it worth blowing up at them over? it might just shock them into paying attention

Just breathe man and remember that you have 6 days left until top surgery so don't let those idiots get you down. It might be a good idea to start looking for another job after you get back from your surgery. I'm sorry they are acting like that. Just stay strong and if you really want to, look into taking legal action. Just, as much as I hate to say it, remember that if you do that, never use them as a reference because even though you might be perfect at your job they might say otherwise out of anger if you take legal action. Good luck with everything Radar.

Quote from: al james on January 05, 2011, 03:06:10 PMIs it worth blowing up at them over? it might just shock them into paying attention

I did that a little before the holidays... but I don't think it did anything. Whenever I go to management about these problems it's blown off and I'm told to not make it such a big deal. Yeah, well screw you b*tch. If she was called a guy for 6 months straight despite people being reminded and corrected she'd be fed up too. The sad thing is I tell her this!

My problem is management is weak. They are co-dependent people pleasers who live in denial and want no conflicts. Yet whenever I stand up for myself it's considered a "bad" thing.

I'm so over this toxic place. It's become a bad environment for anyone- trans or not. The environment has gone so downhill in the last year it's not funny. I've lost count of the people who quit. And when they quit they just walked out- no notice or anything. That's how much contempt they have for this place.

Quote from: Radar on January 05, 2011, 03:31:35 PM
My problem is management is weak.

The job would suck even if you weren't trans.  Weak management spawns all kids of problems that can't be solved.

Quote from: VeryGnawty on January 05, 2011, 03:55:34 PMThe job would suck even if you weren't trans. Weak management spawns all kinds of problems that can't be solved.

So true.

I spoke with my manager this morning and told her that after my surgery I can get my gender legally changed on things. That would make me legally male, so constantly calling me the wrong pronouns could constitute legal harassment. I left it at that... she knew exactly what I was implying.

I almost don't give a sh*t anymore if they fire me or not now. I don't need this crap in my life right now.

Good luck with your surgery, Radar, you should do fine.  Get your name changed offically would go a long ways with your job.  You will then be male offically on the record.

Thanks mm. My name is already legally changed and changed on all my stuff. I just need to get the gender changed on my DL and with SS.

After your designators are changed I would look for a new job.  If your current job is important to you, give them a chance to make a counter offer.  I would think they would, if you're important to them, but either way you'll have your answer.

Otherwise, resign simply, don't write a multipage bitch letter that could come back to haunt you later.  I won't say don't sue your employer, but it could end up ruining your career.  Your FtM status will be a matter of legal and probably public record and any future employer will potentially see you as a financial liability.

I was taught to never take counter offers from current employers. If you stay and take the better deal your employer always has it in the back of their head that you're a "traitor" and will leave at the next best thing. They'll always be paranoid you're looking for a new job and are suspicious of things you do. Plus, when it's time to downsize guess who they've got their eye on?

Is that logical? No. Of course someone will want to take a better deal at a different job. It's all part of improving your life and looking after yourself and family (who always comes first). Whether it be by more money, a better environment or a more enjoyable job. But, companies don't think this way.

You must treat yourself and your career as an actual business. So yes, it's unwise to burn bridges and I would like to eventual use this place as a reference, especially since I'll be documented as male.

I don't want to sue- for many reasons. I know it would out me, out me to anyone researching it and cause concern for a potential or current employer. However, if the s**t really hit the fan I won't just roll over and die.

Hey Bud, I don't know what to say but if it helps I'll come strangle folks with you..pointy sticks works too (or very blunt ones..) You know  make a day of it   What would be harder? finding a new job or bopping people over the head until they use the right pronouns?
(Of course that might end you up fired anyway but they'd use the right pronoun firing you...)
hang in there