I'm getting more use to it...but at first I felt as if everyone was looking at me lol.

I wasn't trying to pass when I went hunting for new clothes the other day. I felt really awkward, like everyone was listening and watching and judging, even though the staff was just perfectly pleasant and helpful. Loved everything I got though, so it was worth the freaking out.

Quote from: Kitian on January 09, 2011, 04:46:06 PM
I wasn't trying to pass when I went hunting for new clothes the other day. I felt really awkward, like everyone was listening and watching and judging, even though the staff was just perfectly pleasant and helpful. Loved everything I got though, so it was worth the freaking out.

People shop for their significant others all the time.  Especially in this economy, the last thing they want to do is offend you and lose a sale.  So what if it occurs to them that your "boyfriend" is the same size as you?  Treat me like crap and I'll shop elsewhere...

I have social anxiety, so I'm nervous pretty much everywhere I go.  I'm nervous in the women's section because I don't want people seeing me as a woman, and I'm nervous in the men's section because I don't pass and I feel like everyone is staring at me, whether they really are or not.  It's not really any different now than it was the first time I went shopping in the men's section.

The first time I felt reallly awkward, definitely. Like I was being watched o_o;. I don't really worry about it any more though- there are so many people going in and out throughout the day I doubt the staff really remembers who's who unless they're trying to steal ->-bleeped-<- haha.

I have a question for you all though. I have some serious issues finding stuff in the mens section that fits me well and doesn't look like I'm...  well, a female wearing mens clothing :X. On occasion I'll stumble across an XS that works well, but other than that I'm considering having my mom send me my sewing machine so I can just start tailoring my clothing like I did back in high school. I'm too small to wear mens jeans so I'm confined to the gals section for pants. I have relatively straight legs anyway so the hips are always baggy on me even when I'm wearing the right size... which would be to my benefit if the rest of me was large enough to fit mens sizes! Any advice for making it work? Stores? etc.? I'm a huge fan of the mens section at urban outfitters but I find that the majority of their sweet t-shirts are the trouble-makers when it comes to finding the right size.

Man. I'd put on weight in a second just to wear what I want, if I didn't already know that it would go straight to my bust and hips, thus defeating the purpose. BLAH. If I'm not watching my weight then I'm basically a curve-bucket.... it's lose/lose.

rantish, sorry haha.

I have no problems getting things in the right size (I'm short with wide hips so I've always worn men's jeans, and I'm pretty barrel-chested so I tend to be a men's medium). You'll probably want to continue to tailor your clothes. Even if you get something approximately the right size and fit, if it's baggy (or tight) somewhere it ought not to be it'll look weird. You also might want to try putting on muscle.

I can't remember the first time, but when I was little there was this one department store that had the latest video game consoles in the boys department. Whenever I was getting new clothes there I would use the video games as an excuse to be in the boys section. Shopping for clothes would make me really paranoid. I thought someone would be able to read my thoughts and figure out I was trans then I would end up getting shock treatment or something. I shop mostly online, but getting clothes that I like is affirming and comforting.

Ive been shopping in the boys/mens section since I was 5 and my mom let me pick out what clothes I liked, so it was never really akward and I never had to get used to it. And spacepilot, I dont know your style, but stores like hollister, american eagle, and abercrombie seem to have some pretty small sizes, if your into preppyish clothes?

I've got the same problem with men's clothes being too big.  I've just been shopping in the boys' section for jeans.  They're too short, but at least they're not women's.

Awkward- and it's still awkward, although I'm becoming more comfortable with it.  The underwear department still makes me nervous though; I really do feel like I'm under scrutiny there, and being judged when going through the checkout and my name on my credit card confirms the gender question for them.  I've only actually gotten dirty looks and cold treatment from one clerk though, it was an older lady at Kohls who just looked angry and shook her head while ringing me up, refusing to speak to me.  I live in southern Ohio though; it's to be expected occasionally, most people here haven't even heard of FTM's and it's super conservative and religious. 

Spacepilot: Boys sizes in the same brands as the men's, like Levi and Vans.  I often wear boys jeans and the shirts in a 14/16 are more like a XS in mens.  I don't shop at Urban Outfitters or any place like that, but JC Penney and Kohls carry boys sizes in the same brands and often styles/colors.  I sew too, but I'm much too lazy to modify everyday clothing, so I typically just shop in boys or look for places that have slim fit jeans, as they run about 1-2 sizes smaller than a typical size 28, the smallest size most men's pants come in.

Quote from: spacepilot on January 09, 2011, 04:55:05 PM
The first time I felt reallly awkward, definitely. Like I was being watched o_o;. I don't really worry about it any more though- there are so many people going in and out throughout the day I doubt the staff really remembers who's who unless they're trying to steal ->-bleeped-<- haha.

I have a question for you all though. I have some serious issues finding stuff in the mens section that fits me well and doesn't look like I'm...  well, a female wearing mens clothing :X. On occasion I'll stumble across an XS that works well, but other than that I'm considering having my mom send me my sewing machine so I can just start tailoring my clothing like I did back in high school. I'm too small to wear mens jeans so I'm confined to the gals section for pants. I have relatively straight legs anyway so the hips are always baggy on me even when I'm wearing the right size... which would be to my benefit if the rest of me was large enough to fit mens sizes! Any advice for making it work? Stores? etc.? I'm a huge fan of the mens section at urban outfitters but I find that the majority of their sweet t-shirts are the trouble-makers when it comes to finding the right size.

Man. I'd put on weight in a second just to wear what I want, if I didn't already know that it would go straight to my bust and hips, thus defeating the purpose. BLAH. If I'm not watching my weight then I'm basically a curve-bucket.... it's lose/lose.

rantish, sorry haha.

I know Apt 9, a brand Kohls sells, runs small. So does stuff from Gap. Dockers comes in inseams as low as 28.

at first i felt like i was tresspassing, and that i didn't belong in that section, and that that's how all the 'real' guys would think of me about it. But then i just sorta went, "you know what, who gives a $hit. ill shop here all i want, ill even look at the guys underwear" lol. so i just did it, keeping in mind that i could just be seen as shopping for my bf, though i didnt even care what anyone thought i was anyways. after all that, i went to the changing room (after a few minutes of hesitation) and they pointed me to the guys changing room =)

For my entire life, pretty much, I was never (still, actually) allowed to shop in the men's section thanks to my family. A friend of mine finally intervened because I had been complaining to her about it, and brought me a full-out men's store when I had been having a particularly bad week thanks to an annoying cough.

The guys there were quite friendly towards me, offering me advice about what sizes and colours would probably suit me when it came to tops and jeans. They kept calling me "sir" and "man", and using the proper pronouns. The guy who checked me out at the cash register even took an interest about my art (which I had been talking to my friend about while I was changing), and it was overall delightful.

...then I went and bought a pair of jeans at another store, and got the glare of death from a guy there who was downright scary. Everyone else there was nice though, so I'll shop there again.

Yea, it was overall a positive experience, a tiny bit scary/apprehensive. It was kind of soured by the last experience, and by a woman calling me "ma'am" with a kind of condescending tone while I was looking at cologne.

At the risk of echoing everybody else here - for a long time I always felt as if the other guys there were watching me, or that people around me were judging me. I would always wig out and just browse through the side of my eye as I ambled between the women's and men's sections.

Recently, though, around the same time I was coming to terms, so to speak, with my trans identity, I went shopping with my mum. I got frustrated with looking at girls' clothing (not out yet, all that), and headed for the men's section. I ended up staying there almost an hour, just wandering around the men's floor and checking stuff out. I only ended up getting two pairs of jeans, which were fine with a bit of a hem, but it was probably one of my best shopping experiences yet because I actually enjoyed it.

Once I get my binder (I just found out a local store carries them in their online shop, and allows you to pick it up at the store ), I plan to head out to a second hand store on my own and spend an afternoon just browsing and buying.

My only issue, really, is that I'm picky, and try on everything before buying, which doesn't seem to something many men do (the local Zeller's doesn't even have a changeroom on the men's floor) x3

Quote from: Jake84 on January 09, 2011, 05:06:30 PM
I live in southern Ohio though; it's to be expected occasionally, most people here haven't even heard of FTM's and it's super conservative and religious. 

Hey where in S. Ohio are you? I'm in the Cincinnati area.

It's pretty conservative here too.

*edit* To add to the conversation, I felt indifferent to shopping in the men's section. I look alternative, so people stare at me no matter what.

Quote from: Renard on January 09, 2011, 05:45:42 PM
Recently, though, around the same time I was coming to terms, so to speak, with my trans identity, I went shopping with my mum. I got frustrated with looking at girls' clothing (not out yet, all that), and headed for the men's section. I ended up staying there almost an hour, just wandering around the men's floor and checking stuff out. I only ended up getting two pairs of jeans, which were fine with a bit of a hem, but it was probably one of my best shopping experiences yet because I actually enjoyed it.

Oh god, the bolded describes my experience so well. I used to hate shopping before my trip (not a big fan of women's clothing most of the time), and now I'm pretty sure that I'm a tiny bit of a Mr. Shop-a-holic when it comes to clothes.

Quote from: Shayne on January 09, 2011, 05:51:54 PM
Hey where in S. Ohio are you? I'm in the Cincinnati area.

It's pretty conservative here too.

Same.   Not sure we're supposed to disclose our specific locations here, but yep, Cincinnati area. 

Quote from: Jake84 on January 09, 2011, 05:57:38 PM
Same.   Not sure we're supposed to disclose our specific locations here, but yep, Cincinnati area. 

Yea, I'm not sure about the rules about that.

Haha, sucks here doesn't it. I am betting we see the same Dr. for HRT. There's only two in the whole area that I know of who sees trans patients. (:

My Dr. said she's seeing a huge influx of ftms recently. She's kind of bewildered by it. I just shrugged at her, I have no idea why that would be.

Sorry for going off-topic there.

Thanks for the advice on sizing/shops everyone! Really helpful. I'm bookmarking this thread for sure.

and just for fun, I feel like I should share these online shops with you all. I've gotten some fantastic shirts from them- really great for smaller guys because even their women's shirts are the exact same as the mens, just smaller. http://www.designbyhumans.com/ and http://www.threadless.com/

I like Design by Humans a bit better quality-wise.

I like to shop at Hot Topic, the clearance section especially, usually online. They have shirt sizes smaller than men's small, youth large. I find their size small though fits perfectly for me. Their guy's pants fit well too. Though I do shop in the girls sections for jeans too. I like my pants tight >.>

Also if you do a lot of online shopping, use www.retailmenot.com for coupons.