(Long post warning)

For a long time, I've been generally frustrated with society.  How it's run, how things are done, and just generally the horrible treatment of people.  I don't expect there to be world peace or anything (because I know that isn't possible), but so many things set me off.  Walmart is a great example.  Employees have to stand there for hours, pretending to be happy while wearing out their legs, serving ungrateful customers, all in a dirty store, being under-paid (actually, I just don't like the idea of money in the first place), with the same drab music playing all day for hours, having to pass by People Magazine and such with "FIND OUT WHO IS GAY AND WHO ISN'T!" on the covers, while Walmart crushes other smaller companies and becomes a monopoly...I could go on and on and on (and it's not just this.  It's the government, the school system, the media, the "norm", everything). 

The thought of working depresses me and automatically makes me go into a panic attack, because then I'm stuck.  I did find a job where I'm sitting down and I pretty much just answer the phone, but it's so depressing thinking about going there and doing it.  The actual job isn't bad, but it still does that to me.  I'm in college.  I was trying to transfer to another college so I could move out, start my transition, and be free of my parents.  I was going into sound recording/audio technology.

But now I'm doubting.  I'm constantly depressed when I think about all the stupid problems that frustrate me with society or when I head to work.  I don't know what to do about it.  I guess the obvious answer is "Change your degree to something you can use to help change society." but you see, there's a few problems with that.  I'm selfish.  I'm impatient.  My needs come first before anything.  I can't stand really dumb people.  This all goes towards America though, but the sour attitude is apparently spreading everywhere else in the world.  American values and attitudes and such.  Probably the second most obvious answer is "move to a different country," which I have considered, but that takes a bunch of money and I still have a lot to do here.  So you see I'm stuck in a loop.  No matter what, all these issues are stuck. 

My beliefs about how society should be aren't that popular (anarcho-communism).   So, I don't know what to do.  I just want to go to sleep and not wake up and deal with it or be faced with it.  So I stick with listening to music and playing video games, I try to tune it out but it doesn't work.  Something always happens, either a news thing pops up spouting some biased crap or my parents say something, and I'm pulled from my away-land.  There's nothing I enjoy about real life that's actually, real life (meaning, outside of getting lost in music and games).  I'm just so tired and frustrated and I don't know what to do anymore. 

(I hope this goes here.  I didn't know where to post it)

Hi there

Just remember that the world is like a mirror, if you scowl at it it gives you the reflect back, you smile it will do the same. Maybe it is time to focus on things that you can change, not just get frustrated about it.
I always used to focus on the negative side of things and ->-bleeped-<-ty things happened to me , so I had ->-bleeped-<- to rant about. Now with my more positive attitude a lot of really amazing things have happened for me. I'm certainly not suggesting that my life is a total bunch of roses, but I today i got a job promotion due to my postive attitude. You have to create the positive changes, by that I mean having a positive outlook on life.

I have been through similar issues and good things can happen.

Big Hugs
Betty

I'm selfish.  I'm impatient.  My needs come first before anything.

So the difference between you and the people who run wallmart are pretty much zip.  I mean are those not exactly the problems that drive the other problems in the world?

If you can't be the change you want to see in the world, then there is never any change.

Hi Rain, I know how you feel, I have felt the same way and still do to a large extent.  Because you are so young you have not had enough time on this earth to see that there is good and yes the bad is more abundant than the good but you can make good and you can make bad so if you choose to make good and think positive. 
Take the things you do not like and chang it as much as you can, you can not change the world but you can change the way you look at it.  Like you mentioned, move, that is a change you can do, there are many other things like that that you can change in your favor, some changes will take more time than others but I think they will be worth the wait.
Everything I am today and everything I have (family, friends etc) I have because I made a decision in my mind to do and achieve what I have now,  and now that I want new things I will make different goals and I will atain them, just like you can.
In Star Wars, Quai Gon Jin said it best " your focus, determins your reality"
Aloha.

Kailena

Quote from: Rain on January 15, 2011, 08:25:30 PM
  So I stick with listening to music and playing video games,

Put yourself into the human condition, the real one..the one that is similar to the non-pet animal condition.  Get food, create shelter, avoid predators, try to survive the cruelty of nature.

You really want to escape from society, grab a knife and go into the wild.  It costs nothing, but you can't be lazy.  Get some experience.  I've slept under bridges and talked to billionaires about business.  You're bored because you don't have to be hot or cold or hungry.  It's not about which degree you choose.  You need to do something hard..from your post I don't think you've ever done anything hard and you're stuck in your own head.

Walk to Alaska.  You might die but I guarantee you won't be depressed.  You can't be depressed when you're holding on to a rock ledge with both hands and shaky legs and are sure you're going to die within 5 to 10 minutes.

You can't fix society.  Genes are hopping around with the specific mission for everyone to be different so that we can survive. Some of us want to form tribes to survive.  Some want to go out alone, keep moving, stay away from tribes.  This is natural selection. Nothing that anyone believes can work for everyone, certainly no political system.  You might have some genes that tell you to avoid the tribe. 

Quote from: japple on January 16, 2011, 03:05:33 AM
Put yourself into the human condition, the real one..the one that is similar to the non-pet animal condition.  Get food, create shelter, avoid predators, try to survive the cruelty of nature.

You really want to escape from society, grab a knife and go into the wild.  It costs nothing, but you can't be lazy.  Get some experience.  I've slept under bridges and talked to billionaires about business.  You're bored because you don't have to be hot or cold or hungry.  It's not about which degree you choose.  You need to do something hard..from your post I don't think you've ever done anything hard and you're stuck in your own head.

Walk to Alaska.  You might die but I guarantee you won't be depressed.  You can't be depressed when you're holding on to a rock ledge with both hands and shaky legs and are sure you're going to die within 5 to 10 minutes.

You can't fix society.  Genes are hopping around with the specific mission for everyone to be different so that we can survive. Some of us want to form tribes to survive.  Some want to go out alone, keep moving, stay away from tribes.  This is natural selection. Nothing that anyone believes can work for everyone, certainly no political system.  You might have some genes that tell you to avoid the tribe.

Interesting.   But what do you mean by "hard"?  Most people my age (I'm 19) haven't been through anything real threatening or done anything too challenging, and they are cruisin' through just fine.  So why is it I'm bored?

Most people my age (I'm 19) haven't been through anything real threatening or done anything too challenging, and they are cruisin' through just fine.  So why is it I'm bored?

Actually you answered your own question there.  Because when you are doing something threatening/challenging you don't have time to be bored.  Climbing, extreme skiing, wilderness survival are things that pretty much occupy 100% of your attention when they are going down.

A great thing to do is to put yourself in an actual, physical problem, such as taking the wrong bus and ending up utterly lost in the worst parts of town. That is a very physical problem (you are somewhere you shouldn't), and it can be a bit tricky to solve, but it isn't philosophy or any kind of "mental" stuff involved.

Break all your furniture, and build new furniture from the pieces. Only eat what you can grow yourself (in flower pots, balconies, etc). Make physical limitations for yourself, get yourself in physical problems.

Only solving problems inside your head is bad for you. You need some physical stimulation as well. The bus trip thing made me calmer and less prone to have panic attacks for a while.

Quote from: Rain on January 16, 2011, 11:06:23 AM
Interesting.   But what do you mean by "hard"?  Most people my age (I'm 19) haven't been through anything real threatening or done anything too challenging, and they are cruisin' through just fine.  So why is it I'm bored?

I remember being a bored teen. I'd complain to my mother: "There's nothing to do." She'd reply: "You could clean your room." "That's not what I want to do."

You don't need extreme anything to be challenged. Life for most of us is enough. I haven't been bored in years. Sometimes, I just hope for a few moments respite before life hurls its next challenge my way.

My traditions has lots of sayings, two of which I'll mention for your consideration. "If I am not for myself, who am I? And if for myself only, what am I? And if not now, when? (Hillel)". Sure, you are selfish. You are wired that way to help insure your survival. But you also notice the unjustice of the world. That is important, too. Don't despair. Peace is possible, but it is not possible while children starve, while women are abused, etc., etc.

We have another saying: "It is not incumbent upon you to complete the work, but neither are you at liberty to desist from it" (Tarfon). You don't have to bring about world peace or solve all the problems of capitalism. Yet no matter who you are, or what you do for a living, leaving the world better than you found it is in your job description. Doing the work will go a long way to ease your boredom and realize just who you are and what you are truly capable of. If that greeter at Walmart can brighten someone's day, he or she will have advanced the work.

Do not be afraid to get your hands dirty; they wash. There is no job that is beneath you; labor has its own nobility. Personally, my ideal job uses everything I have to offer--my mind and my body--and just a little more, so I am forced to grow.

I conclude my sermon, by avowing that each person is worthy of your respect. Each of us has so much unused potential. Someone has said, the only sin is waste. We people's potential everyday. Encouraging others to take chances, to express who are, and to let others know we love them--as so many at Susan's do everyday, is so essential to making the world better for each of us. I encourage you to take a second look at the amazing people around you. Don't despair: you can make for yourself a rewarding, challenging, and exciting life; most likely, it won't walk into your room while you sit there playing games.

S

It sounds like you may be depressed, not bored. If so, get treatment. Seriously. The rest of what I'm about to say presumes that you do not need therapy and/or medication to deal with depression and/or anxiety.

Quote from: Rain on January 15, 2011, 08:25:30 PM
But now I'm doubting.  I'm constantly depressed when I think about all the stupid problems that frustrate me with society or when I head to work.  I don't know what to do about it.  I guess the obvious answer is "Change your degree to something you can use to help change society." but you see, there's a few problems with that.  I'm selfish.  I'm impatient.  My needs come first before anything.  I can't stand really dumb people.  This all goes towards America though, but the sour attitude is apparently spreading everywhere else in the world.  American values and attitudes and such.  Probably the second most obvious answer is "move to a different country," which I have considered, but that takes a bunch of money and I still have a lot to do here.  So you see I'm stuck in a loop.  No matter what, all these issues are stuck. 

If your issue is simply, "I don't want to work" - guess what? This is really common. Most people don't wake up every morning (or afternoon or evening) excited to go to work. It is rare to find someone so fortunate that he or she love work every single day, most of the day. Even people who like their jobs on the whole don't love or even like a lot of the everyday details that are working. It's called growing up, being an adult, and realizing that a lot of living in this world means doing stuff we don't like and that we can still be happy or live meaningful lives without being stimulated every minute by something new, exciting, or interesting.

This "sour attitude" is not an American one, and it is not spreading universally. There are many people who are disaffected and unhappy, depressed, selfish and/or impatient. There always have been and there always will be. Moving to a different country won't cure your problems, because the problem is you, not America. There are people all over the world who are happy, involved, interested, concerned, kind, giving, living, and otherwise having meaningful lives - some might live next door to you, some two continents away. Moving away will not change who you are, nor will it make you happy and fulfilled if you are currently depressed or bored.

So...how do you change your life, especially if you need your current job for the $? Find your passion and explore it. Do stuff. Learn new things - through formal education, travel or otherwise. Go new places. Develop hobbies and find people who share these hobbies with it. Give your time and energy to others who are in need. Get past the laziness, the procrastination, and quite frankly, the immaturity to realize:
- There is always someone better off and someone worse off than you.
- It is no one else's job to entertain you. You will be bored until you take ownership for your own life experiences.
- The best way to feel good about yourself is often doing something for someone else.
- There is often no "I can't," only an "I don't want to sacrifice for this."
- Even cool/fun hobbies and activities take hard work and dedication on your part.

Rain

My wife is speaking at a local MLK Day commemoration, and I just edited and posted her speech to her blog. One paragraph sounded as though it were addressed to you, so I copy it below.

QuoteDr. King once said, "Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don't have to have college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." Answer "life's most persistent and urgent question," as Dr. King called it. "What are you doing for others?" Make this Martin Luther King Day of Service—a day on, not a day off.

Look upward, angel,
S

My fav King quote, and it works well here too:

If you haven't found something worth dying for, you aren't fit to be living.

Quote from: Rain on January 16, 2011, 11:06:23 AM
So why is it I'm bored?

Someone once said that boredom isn't natural. It happens when we are stuck in a situation we don't want to be in.

You guys are awesome.  Those King quotes really speak out.  Since making this thread and reading the replies, I've really been thinking.  Maybe I should actually try to fix what I think is wrong, instead of just bitching about it.  Actually do something.  Switching the focus on my studies to something else so I can actually help people in the future since it bothers me so much.

Quote from: spacial on January 16, 2011, 06:53:36 PM
Someone once said that boredom isn't natural. It happens when we are stuck in a situation we don't want to be in.

That makes sense because that describes where I'm at perfectly.  I still live with my parents, and my mom does nothing but yell and scream at me.  I don't really want to go into more detail and turn this post into a baw-fest, but I'm not happy here.  I'm not a fan of my family.  So, I've been trying to go to another college, to live in their dorms and be on my own.

Quote from: Rain on January 16, 2011, 07:55:36 PM
You guys are awesome.  Those King quotes really speak out.  Since making this thread and reading the replies, I've really been thinking.  Maybe I should actually try to fix what I think is wrong, instead of just bitching about it.  Actually do something.  Switching the focus on my studies to something else so I can actually help people in the future since it bothers me so much.

I worked in Italy for a while, and I was struck by how many of my Italian friends said: "Somebody should do something about our government." I like your words a whole lot more. I think there are a bunch of us on this forum who will cheer you on. Keep posting as you move forward.

S

I remember feeling like that too, when I was a teen.  I had an upper middle class family and didn't want for anything.  I cried to my father about how I thought I should go live in the jungle and fight for my life, because living in society felt empty.

It was a spiritual moment for me, when I learned that we balance the actuality of living in an imperfect society with strong spiritual ideals (that was the birth of my Taoism.)  I got through it by researching literature and religion, and writing fiction based on what I was learning and feeling- creating worlds that satisfied me spiritually.  Looking back the stories weren't very good, but they were important to me.

I agree with previous suggestions.  Find yourself a struggle.  If there's something you enjoy thinking about, invest your time in learning about it (language, history, sociology).  Something you enjoy doing, spend some time getting better at it (painting, music, math, science, writing).  If you feel like your interests are in question,  then just go have a life experience- take a road trip to no where without a map, take the wrong bus, go to a star wars convention, go hiking on a mountain.

The bottom line is what's been repeated- if you don't want to be bored, you can't be lazy.

I worked in an office for a while, and it was terrible! I got depressed and became unhealthy, but I made a lot of money.  Then I quit, and got a job at a tiny local health food store.  The dont make a lot of money, but I'm happy being around people who want to help others be healthy!  You only need enough money to survive- it's part of the compromise, and you don't have to love money to use it.

You'll go in and out of satisfaction all your life.  You'll need to find a balance of society and inner satisfaction over and over, but that's the struggle that life is about!  You won't be bored if you fight for happiness.

Quote from: tekla on January 16, 2011, 06:24:23 PM
My fav King quote, and it works well here too:

If you haven't found something worth dying for, you aren't fit to be living.

I 100% believe that life only truly begins when you find something you are willing to die for.

Yeah, and I don't even think you have to die, its about committing 100% with no reservations or regrets.  No fear, no envy.