I havent been to church in a while because I refuse to wear a dress and pretend to be a girl. My mom is really upset because I have a very religious family. I still believe in and love God, but thats not enough for her. Today I heard her in the kitchen balling her eyes out, telling my grandmother that she misses me. That kills me. I dont know what to do, I feel stuck. Im scared to even face her because I cant stand to see her upset.

She's doing this to herself dude, you're not doing anything to her - it's not your fault.
Besides, Jesus doesn't give a crap what you wear to church, unless it's a hoodie purchased from Satan himself (then he might have a few questions for you). Maybe gently point out to her that clothes are meaningless in the context of immortal souls and ask her why she has such an issue with you not wanting to wear a dress when wearing a dress is irrelevant to God.
She's hurting herself by being so stubborn about dress codes and not accepting who you are.
I hope things get better soon.
*Special Cait hugs*

If her main issue is just missing you then perhaps you can just spend time with her another way?

I hope everything works out for you 

michaeljay.

Vexing is so right here.

From your description, the impression I get is that little performance just sounds so... contrived.

I don't go to church for a number of reasons. But it doesn't make me any less of, (or more than), a Christian.

Where two or more come together there will be God if they believe. Try asking your mom to share some special time together that way. Tell her you want God in your life minute by minute and not just on sundays to show yourself off to other peers of your mother / family.

tell your mom you know a trans person (me) who is caregiving their 88 yr old mom and that we are good and kind people who have wonderful hearts.

Thank you Cait, you are right, and I really appreciate it. The satan hoodie thing made me laugh out loud a little, and thats good cuz im not in such a good mood right now.

m2mtf2ftm- I am going to try that, thank you, it seems like a really good idea and i think she'll like that.

And, thank you everyone else, Ill let you know how it goes if I talk to her.. which I plan to.

Lots of women wear slacks these days ... why don't you get a nice pair of slacks with a nice shirt .... I see lots of women wearing appropriate male clothing in church, work, & etc. 

It breaks my heart when any of God's children especially God's LGBT children are excluded, mistreated or misunderstood. Your mother's rejection and ignorance does not reflect either the love of God or the example and teaching of Jesus. Let your mother know that God is not concerned about a person's outer appearances but God is more concerned about how we treat and love each other, and have we made this a much more peaceful, just and fair world. Let her know that you are blessed, beautiful child of God created in God's image, and that Jesus taught us that the two greatest commandments that is rooted in the law and prophets is to love God with all your being and to love others as you love oneself. In response to God's love we love others, and in loving others we love God. The parable of the Good Samaritan illustrates that we are all neighbors and that we are our sisters and brother's keeper. Point out to her that scripture says that God is love and those who abide in love abide in God for God is love and those who do not love do not know God for God is love, and love is from God. If your mother's church is homophobic then I encourage you to leave that church and seek out a church and denomination that aligns with your beliefs, and accepts and celebrates you as the blessed child of God you are. Speak to her honestly and openly. Listen and speak, and assure her everything is fine and she has nothing to fear. For God's perfect love casts out fear. Let her know that Jesus during his ministry welcomed into his midst those whom the Romans and the religious elites deemed as undesirables including prostitutes, tax collectors and lepers. As of this past Sunday, I now celebrate 3 years being in the United Church of Christ (UCC) and I'm loving every minute of it. No matter who you are, or where you find yourself on life's journey you're welcome in our midst. Jesus didn't turn people away neither do we.