The one topic i've been avoiding the dreaded haircut.  My hair is really a bittersweet topic for me.  I cant remember the last time i had hair above my shoulders.  It's always been atleast to my elbows.  Just at the beginning of the school year i had close to a foot off (it was close to my waist) and it's already back close to my elbows.  but with my new found identity i want to get it cut off.  But i love long hair so i want to keep it.  I don't know what to do. 
Kris
ftm

Kris,
What does hair length got to do with gender identity?
I've know a lot of guy with real long hair and many women with real short hair.
If you like it long wear it that way.
Don't let a stereo type male image make you do something that you really don't want to do.
Be who you are not who others want you to be.
Ok Kris?
Hey I may be on the other side of the fence but I do understand.
Jillieann

Kris - if you like your hair leave it. I used to have longer "emo" hair and cut mine short. I do not pass anymore than I did before....in fact, I actually think I pass a lot less. There are plenty of extremely feminine women who wear thier hair short (like the pixie cut that was popular for a while...maybe still is? I dont know...) and plenty of very masculine men who have long hair (many "rock stars", actors like johnny depp). Cutting your hair short does not equal passing more....which is what I feel like your concern is based on your new found identity. I felt that way too.....and still feel like way. I id as more andro than ftm....and that was my reasoning behind chopping all my hair off....how will people know I feel this way if I still have long hair?? As Jillieann said.....don't let the sterotype make you do something you don't want to do. You can still present yourself as male without having all stereotypically male qualities.

Hi KrisRenee

Only you can decide that in the end, however I would say keep it because, I have always had long hair and always have since I was 19, I'm just like my mother, she has always had long hair as well and you know the old saying "like mother like daughter"

But as others have said what does long hair have to do with gender if you like long hair as guy, then have long hair.

Long hair forever.

Kind regards
Sarah B

It's not really as much as passing for society as it is for my own feelings.  I want short hair.  I want to be able to take a shower and do absolutely nothing to my hair.  I'm tired of worrying about dealing with puting it up.  I cant even remember the last time i actually wore my hair down or even in a pony tail.  it's always been in a bun out of the way.  My problem i think is letting go of the past me.  I love my curls and alot of people are jealous of my hair.  I do love it i just dont think it's me.  I understand it's my choice, i just don't want to regret it after it's done.

Hi KrisRenee

If you decide to cut your hair and have it styled the way you want and then find you absolutely regret it, then you have the consolation of knowing that it will grow back.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Quote from: Sarah B on January 19, 2011, 09:10:24 PM
Hi KrisRenee

If you decide to cut your hair and have it styled the way you want and then find you absolutely regret it, then you have the consolation of knowing that it will grow back.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Thanks.

Quote from: KrisRenee on January 19, 2011, 08:59:54 PM
My problem i think is letting go of the past me...  I understand it's my choice, i just don't want to regret it after it's done.

I felt much the same before I cut my hair.  I had always kept it long, and I could usually sit on it.  But I finally decided that if I hated short hair, I could always grow it back.  Turned out, I love my short hair!  I pass better and I feel better about my appearance in general.  It's also cool not having to wash, dry, and brush a ton of hair, or get it caught in doors and whatnot.

I had my hair down to at least my shoulders for most of my life, so I was nervous about getting it cut shorter too.  However, when I got home I had the joy of looking in the mirror and feeling like I saw myself in it for the first time in my life.  You never know how things will come out.  You could also go with a longer mens style.

Maybe you should cut it off in stages?? A few inches here and then a few inches there if you are a little nervous about it. I didn't mean to assume your intentions, It just seems like that is what most people are concerned with....i shouldn't be so generalizing...sorry! Everyone does make a good point...it will grow back.

Quote from: brucewaynegotham on January 20, 2011, 04:47:38 PM
Maybe you should cut it off in stages?? A few inches here and then a few inches there if you are a little nervous about it. I didn't mean to assume your intentions, It just seems like that is what most people are concerned with....i shouldn't be so generalizing...sorry! Everyone does make a good point...it will grow back.

It's okay.  You weren't the only one who thought i was concerned for passing.  Trust me i'm not.  I live in a small town and everyone pretty much knows me as Kristen.  Long curly hair jubiliant kristen.  Trying to pass wouldn't work here unless you're new in town.  They only way i'd ever be worried about passing is if i moved, or if i came out to everyone(which isn't happening any time soon)  I could cut it off in stages, but that's kind of a lot of money if you consider 15-20$ for a haircut.  I'm not letting my mom anywhere near me with scissors.  Today i did chop off my bangs shorter than usual.  A start as to when i put on my hat to cover the rest of my hair, it looks like all i have are those "bangs"  and when i take my hat off, i pin them up.Thanks for the advice.  I really love the community here and i finally feel welcome somewhere.
Kris.

UPDATE:  So i got my hair cut today.  It's shorter than i've ever had it but still not as short as i would like it.  I figured going in stages would be the best bet.  It's about at my shoulders now, just barely touches them ,and i got a little over six inches off.  Maybe next time i will go all the way.  thanks to everyone for all the advice.
Kris

It's pretty smart to take big changes in small steps - you're less likely to make a fool of yourself, anyway.
However, sometimes a big change all at once can be more symbolic, carrying more meaning. It can be more exciting.
In the end, you'll know what works for you. Keep cutting it to perfection!

KrisRenee

Its nice to hear that you made a decision.  I hope it works out for you in the long run.  Take care.

Kind regards
Sarah B